The Old-Fashioned Way

Is the show troupe on board?

Yes.

Which car?

This car here.

Wait a minute.

They'll all be off.

Is this the McGonigle Repertory Troupe?

Where's the Great McGonigle?

He isn't here but I'm his daughter.

Has anything happened?

Not yet.

But I have something here I'd like to give him.

I'll see that he gets it.

Not on your tintype.

That's my job.

Well, jail can't be any worse than this.

The best thing we do is to get out of town

one jump ahead of the sheriff.

Yeah, and I can't jump like I used to.

What's wrong?

What'd he do?

It ain't what he did do.

It's what he didn't do.

Snuck out of his boarding house,

didn't pay his board bill, didn't pay nothing.

Nothing!

Are you McGonigle?

No.

Pardon me.

Just a little lung trouble.

That's enough of that.

Are you the Great McGonigle?

I am, sir, yes.

Then I have something to give you.

There.

- Thank you very much. - All aboard!

Just what I've been waiting for.

I thank you.

Thanks for the light.

Good evening, my happy little family.

How are my little children of the theater?

Mr. McGonigle, I've got to have some money.

Yes, my lad.

How much?

Two dollars.

If I had two dollars I'd start a number two company.

For two cents I'd quit.

Pay him off.

Tickets, please.

Two score and five years ago,

when I was playing the Holy City,

ah, good evening, sir.

How do you do?

I refer you to my amanuensis

Mr. Marmaduke Gump, our manager.

I am the owner and the star.

Excuse me, please.

Tickets?

Now if you'll point out the members of your troupe.

There's two.

There's three.

Here's two.

Here's four.

What have you got under your foot, Pop?

Under my foot?

Nothing, Betty.

Nothing under there.

The other foot.

My other foot?

Oh, for goodness' sake.

I'm glad you noticed that.

What sharp eyes you have.

That's my sleeping car ticket.

I must have dropped it.

Here, I bought it for you.

You what?

I bought it for you this morning, dear.

No, you didn't.

I didn't buy it?

I saw that man drop it.

Man dropped it?

Well, that's funny.

Give it back to him.

Give it back to him, Pop.

Give it back?

Are you sure he dropped it?

Oh, well, of course, it would be dishonest to keep it.

I'll give it back but I'd like to know where that one.

Is I bought for you.

Don't wait up for me, dear.

I may play a little pachisi before coming to bed.

Oh, pardon me, sir.

I had a ticket.

I think it was upper nine.

Upper nine.

Is upper nine made up?

I'll see.

George?

Is upper nine ready?

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

- Get me a ladder, please. - Yes, Sir.

Thank you.

It's stuffy up there.

I'll just push.

Not enough room to swing a cat around.

That gentleman has upper nine.

Maybe it was upper six.

No, upper six is occupied.

You don't think I'd lie to you about a ticket, do you?

Maybe this telegram will tell you who I am.

J Weldon-Potter,

Grand Mogul to the High Chamber

of Secret Order of Knights and Messiah.

Quiet, please, quiet.

What is this, a cattle car?

Drat!

Well, I had a ticket-

I'll take you round.

Get your valise.

Come on.

Keep quiet.

Shh, quiet.

Hello, Betty.

And where do you think you're going?

I'm going to Bellefontaine.

Listen, Wally.

You've got to stop following us around from town to town.

I'm not following us around.

I'm following you.

Well, you can't follow me, either.

Listen, Betty.

I'm going to be an actor.

I'm crazy about the theater and crazy about you, too.

You're just crazy.

You listen to me, young man.

You're not going to get off at Bellefontaine.

Do you understand?

Yes, ma'am.

You're going to stay on the train

till you get back to college where you should

have been a month ago.

You hear?

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you, ma'am.

Are you going to do what I say?

No, ma'am.

Oh, you're impossible!

You're, you're a fool.

Yes, ma'am.

Bellefontaine, boss.

Bellefontaine, boss.

Belle who?

Bellefontaine.

Hello, Belle, dear.

How are you?

I'll leave two tickets at the box office for you.

No, sir.

Bellefontaine, next stop.

Uh, yes.

Uh, yes, so it is.

Yes, so it is.

Gosh, I slept well last night.

What are you doing down there?

Who is that?

- Who is it? - What is this?

Who is it?

Who is it?

What, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

You're acting like an acrobat.

What is the idea, walking around in my nightshirt?

What's the idea of wearing a nightshirt big enough

for people to walk around in?

Get in your berth.

I was, when my face you stepped on.

"Face you stepped on?"

What are you, Chinese people?

You, walking around, stepping on people's faces!

I, I break your throat!

What?

You, you, oh!

The idea, the idea-

Why, was he talking to me?

Pop, he stole my mallet.

You've been creating a lot of disturbance

around here this morning.

You!

I get you!

I break your neck!

Gangway, please, gangway.

Good morning, gentlemen.

I am the Great McGonigle.

How do you do?

Would you mind drawing your legs in?

Thank you.

- Good morning, governor. - Morning, Marmaduke.

Get my parade costume out.

Immediately.

- Sir. - Pardon me.