Kikoriki. Legend of the Golden Dragon (Smeshariki. Legenda o Zolotom Drakone)

Once upon a time,

there was a handsome narrator.

He opened a movie by telling

the story of a jungle tribe,

happy and carefree

and generally idiotic.

One day, a shaman predicted

that their good times

would soon come to a tragic end.

But the shaman's intern butted in

and announced that they would be saved

by a deity named The Golden Dragon.

The shaman freaked out

and revoked his intern's course credit

for contradicting him.

But it was too late,

the villagers had hope again

and went back to their ridiculous

dance routines.

The name of The Golden Dragon

was passed down from generation to generation

to, well, until it was forgotten,

but then it is remembered again

and became legend,

The Legend of The Golden Dragon,

and the handsome narrator.

Move, move, move.

Pick it up, Wally.

I've seen noses that run faster than you.

Yeah, Wally.

Come on, let's go team, onward.

Oh, shake a leg, lamb chop,

or are you waiting for me to make applesauce?

Shake a leg?

He's quivering all over.

No, I'm not quivering,

it's just chilly out here.

- Aren't you guys chilly? - (KRASH) Go.

Careful of the loose ones.

Oh, which ones are the loose ones?

All of them.

Hop those legs, Wally.

Don't look down.

Nobody's stupid enough to look down... oh.

Faster.

Need a little lift there, buddy?

Oh, that's it.

I just can't make it.

Go on, save yourselves.

Oh, wait for me.

Faster! Move, team, go, go, go, go, go!

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Perfect.

Perfect? This is perfect?

What's next? A group checking the dentist?

Oh, my horoscope was right.

I should've stayed under the bed today!

Whoa.

Rock and roll, woo.

Oh, this is not good,

not good, oh.

I can't fly. Whoa.

Wally, no. What are you doing, Wally?

What are you... Oh, come on, Wally, give me a break.

No.

Oh, Wally, what are you doing up there?

Get off my head.

Huh?

What? What is it?

What's going on?

Oh, why did I have to ask?

On your right.

Oh.

Are you kidding?

No.

Oh, Wally.

- What was that, Wally? - We are dead.

- When I get my hooves on you... - (DOKKO) Now, now, everybody.

Keep your hooves to yourselves.

I need my computer back.

This isn't fair.

I have another life left.

But you're wrong, you only have one life,

and you shouldn't waste it playing video games.

Now, please, Krash, I'm already behind schedule.

Now, we have to stop

because Wally's afraid

of a stupid 8-bit toad?

But I wasn't scared.

I was surprised

by how scary it was.

Whoa.

Oh, here we go, girl,

hop, hop,

very good, good girl.

Hop, hop.

Great. Not now.

Not yet.

Oh, ow.

Well...

Holy carrot.

Ah, our master pilot,

is this beauty ready for our big flight

overseas tomorrow?

It's an auspicious day.

Yeah, everything's ship shape,

except the couple sticky thing flips,

nothing a few whacks

with a frying pan can't fix.

- You got a frying pan? - Frying pan?

I might have a fondue pot somewhere.

Aah, close enough.

Hey, guys, open hatch, 12:00.

It looks like today won't be a complete waste after all, huh?

Yeah, what are we waiting for?

Waiting for? We all just saw that thing

crash out of the sky, and catch fire,

like a roman candle.

This is ridiculous.

Tell them, Rosa.

- (ROSA) Wally, hurry up... - (WALLY) Rosa?

Rosa? Shh.

Uh, who?

Me?

Be right there.

No, I won't.

Oh, forget it.

Stay on the ground like a wiggly worm.

Let's get airborne.

Have a good test flight.

Ha-ha, they're all aboard, baby cakes.

Clear the decks, chocks away.

Increase the power. Turbines, for speed.

What is this blinking light?

Ah, that's better.

Oh, no.

Wally? Hi, there.

Sorry, I'm a little nervous.

The big conference is tomorrow,

and I haven't practiced

my speech yet.

Imagine, the scientific luminary

like Dokko unprepared.

I could use your help if you have the time.

Oh.

Time?

I've got nothing but time,

because I'm Wally.

What did they want from me?

I'm not a professional gamer

or a test pilot.

Hmm?

Oh, klutz.

What about that loop-the-loop?

I thought my guts were gonna fly out of my ears.

Yeah, there was so much blood in my brain,

I thought my eyes were gonna pop out.

- So, Rosa... - (ROSA) Uh-huh?

Oh.

I could never be as athletic as Krash,

- or as strong as Berry. - (BERRY) Hey.

- (KRASH) Oh, hey, Berry. - (BERRY) So what's Dokko

dreamed up for us this time, do you think?

He said it was the invention of the century.

Of course, he did.

And I'm going to help him demonstrate

the latest invention of the century.

Oh, you're in for a good time.

Oh, terrific.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the greatest mind of our time,

the moose who put the I in science, Dokko.

Ta-da.

Do we clap?

- (ROSA) Nah. - In preparation for our big

flight to the FRED conference,

the Festival of Ranting Engineering Dweebs,

welcome to this...

Sorry, I'm late.

That fiber will sneak up

on you like a ninja.

You didn't miss anything,

just the greatest invention

- of all time again. - Ahem.

And now, at last,

a revolution in self-help,

a miracle of modern technology.

The wonderful, Improve-riser...

This is where you applaud madly.

Huh?

Uh-huh.

Improve-riser?

And just what is this improve-rising?

Only total co-use of cognitive

and motor skills.

Or in layman's terms,

borrowing someone's talents

by means of this slick and fashionable headgear.

For example,

some of us are excellent dancers,