House of Lies

Ah, fuck.

Wake up.

Wake... up.

Yeah.

Try this.

Oh, fuck.

- Hey, dad. - Oh, shit. Hey.

Grandpa's making French toast.

What's mom doing here?

Oh, your mother, she...

She had some work to do.

Why is she asleep?

It was hard work.

Should I tell grandpa to make her French toast?

Oh, absolutely not.

Okay.

Don't... ever... fuck.

Your ex... wife.

Monica, can you please get out of here?

Where is here?

It's my place.

How many pills did you have last night anyway?

Which flavor?

Baby, this isn't gonna happen again.

What did happen last night?

What did you think happened last night?

Oh, I smell French toast.

Yeah, but you can't have any.

You have to get out. - Come on.

After what you did to me last night...

Why not?

Because you're a sociopath and an addict,

and I can't even look at you right now.

Right back at you, sweetie.

- Yeah. -

Good-bye, boys!

Bye, mom!

Oh.

Love you.

Hey, dad, sit down and eat.

Lost my appetite.

Bet you're hungry, though.

Oh, yeah, I'm starved.

Auditions are today.

- For what again? - Grease.

Yeah.

And what part are you auditioning?

Sandy.

The part immortalized by Olivia Newton-John.

Huh.

That's great, bud.

Think you got a shot?

Brittany kauffman knows all the songs,

but she looks like a pug. - Well, great, go for it.

I bet you're gonna kick that little pug's ass.

- Dad... - Damn right.

I gotta poo.

- So I just... - Yeah.

Just like it was any part in any play.

Yeah, 'cause dressing up like a slut

and trying to get John Travolta to fuck you,

that's just like trying out for the little league, right, dad?

Oh, you wanna fuck him up about it,

just lean on in, call him a Nancy boy.

He's looking for me to push back.

He's looking for a little positive attention.

All right, super shrink.

- Retired. - Yes, exactly.

So why don't you go play dominos or something

and stop trying to tell me how to raise my kid.

Maybe I wouldn't have to be here

if he had one fit parent between the two of you.

Really?

I mean 'cause you were an awesome parent.

All right, look, I guess your mother and I

could have done a better job. - Dad.

I gotta go to work. - Ha.

I actually have a real job.

Since when is management consulting a real job?

Since it pays seven figures a year.

Hey, dad,

are you gonna see a Broadway show in New York?

I don't think so, buddy. I got a lot of work to do.

Well, when you get back, can we go shoe shopping?

Yes, shoe shopping this weekend.

Thanks, dad.

Love you. - Love you too.

If we don't stick the landing on this one,

our pod could be eliminated.

- Hey, no pressure. - So what are they looking for?

They're looking for a market position.

Like they don't already have one.

They're masters of the fucking universe.

You know, it's like my econ professor at Harvard

used to say to me... - Oh, my god.

"Never examine the motives of the guys

writing your checks."

Unless you say something that supports the position

they're secretly hoping we advance.

Yeah, but what's the objective?

They want us to tell them that they're prefect.

Look, fuck what they want, okay?

Consulting's like dissing a really pretty girl

so that she'll want you more.

We need them to think they're almost perfect,

so we can book that afterwork.

Afterwork.

Afterwork, really, is the goal of all consulting.

Get them on the tit,

thinking that their business is gonna fail without you.

They hire you week in and week out.

That's millions and millions in billable hours.

That's what we want, baby.

Please. God.

Doug, chew.

What? God, sorry.

Don't take another bite.

I can't help it. It's really good.

Here's the thing.

These guys are just looking for a way to justify their bonuses.

Yeah. And why shouldn't they?

Because they robbed the American public

of billions of dollars by selling them bad mortgages?

Oh, boo-hoo.

So who are the players?

The ceo of metrocapital is k. Warren mcdale.

But his little yapping spaniel is Greg norbert.

It's gonna be about scoring with norbert.

But he knows that. We can't suck up to this guy.

We got a Alpha-dog his ass.

Marty, we cannot get counseled out on this job.

Counseled out.

That's consultant for fired.

It's not good.

Look, she's basically giving it to you.

She wasn't. That's not true.

Come on, I'm gonna figure it out one of these days,

your dirty little secret.

- You are? - Yeah.

- My secret? - That's right.

Whatever it is. - Okay.

I mean, I know about the baby thing, but...

- What baby thing? - The baby thing.

You want to have a baby. - Someday.

I mean, after I make partner. - Yeah. But when we got drunk

in Pittsburgh that time, you said...

- What? - What did you say?

You wanted to... fuck, what was it?

- Oh, my god. - It was terrifying.

Oh, harvest! - No.

You wanted to harvest your eggs.

You know what? You have no soul.

Because you didn't wanna depend on a man.

I never said that. But it's true.

That's some control freak shit, Jeannie.

You got to look at that.

Oh, my god. I have a deep feeling of dread.

Don't start that shit, Doug.

I gotta say, the man is on to something.

These guys are animals.

They created the subprime meltdown,

and now they're cashing in on it.

They are taking their spoils in the form of

outrageous bonuses like any good robber baron.

Marty, they're gods of dangerous financial instruments.

You think they're just gonna let us walk out of here alive?

You're forgetting they think they need us.

Thank you, Jeannie.

Now, why don't you sweet young maidens

go inside and change your panties

and see if we can find a cube farm for the data dump.

Data dump... that's the actual information.

The numbers, the dirt.

Everything else is horse shit.

Except perception, which is horse shit you can leverage.

All right, let's go get this money.

Okay. I'm gonna take a stroll,

see if I can get a feeling for the corporate culture.

Hi, good afternoon. Galweather...

I'll just sneak in here real quick.

I'll take care of it from here. And this is my mobile.

You can call me whenever you want and we'll see what happens.

- She won't call. - We'll see what happens.

- She won't. Thank you. - Sorry.

Hey, are you from galweather?

- Yes, I am. - Marty kaan?

- Yeah. - Greg norbert.

- Greg norbert. - Yeah. I need you right away.

Mcdale wants you in a strategy session.

- Did you say Greg norbert? - Yeah, I did.

- - Yeah.

What? That's all right.

- - What?

- Huh? - What? No...

- Nothing. - What?

You hear things...

And then you put a face to a name.

It's... it's interesting.