Just Beyond

I swear, they get weirder every day.

My mom and dad spent an entire weekend shopping for decorative pillows.

And they kept saying things like "game-changer."

-About pillows? -Yeah.

You should hear my dad talk about solar panels.

Ninety percent of his conversations are about how much money they save him.

He literally thanks the sun when it's out.

I mean, are all parents this cringey?

Jamie Shapiro's parents ride motorcycles.

My dad's van uses vegetable oil, so I just stopped letting him drop me off

because kids said that I smelled like French fries.

I mean, you kind of do.

I'm telling you, boys, not only are Sasquatch real,

but they're getting more sophisticated.

They're evolving.

Now, I'm not just talking about using tools, either.

I mean, really evolving.

Some of them have even started posting audio online.

So Bigfoot has a podcast?

Well, of course, it's all subsidized by the government.

They're using them to get their message out.

And why would the government need Sasquatch to get its message out?

I've already said too much.

Okay.

Hey, you boys want to see a pixie skull?

-Yeah, I think we have to get going. -Yeah.

Jack. Ronald.

Remember, boys.

Trust no one.

Of course, we got the solar panels for the planet,

but the real winner is my wallet.

That buyback program, the power company writes me a check every month, eh?

Hey, here's looking at you, hot stuff.

Winning.

That's right.

How is that funny?

-You want a burger? Fresh and real hot. -Please.

What's up, dawgs?

You boys excited about our trip to Keystone Lake next weekend?

Yeah, actually, the cabin looks pretty cool.

Yeah, I can't wait to swim in that lake.

I'm thinking about getting everyone matching pajamas.

What? It's gonna be off the chizain!

Oh, we're out of paper plates.

Later, skaters.

Matching pajamas?

I know.

Oh, is that my wife?

Yowza!

Stop it, you!

Oh, stop looking so good and maybe I will.

Hey, at least my parents don't flirt.

Yeah, you're so lucky.

-Howdy. -There they are!

Hi, hi!

We heard the big news about the pillows.

You'll have to show us later at Game Night.

That's right, Game Night's tonight.

Is it at your house or mine this week?

My house, I think.

Okay. We'll take refuge here, then.

What type of woodchips are you using?

Wait, Dale, don't tell me.

Hickory.

-Pecan mesquite. I mixed it myself. -Hey, oh!

-He did. -It's not me, right?

-They're definitely getting worse. -Hundred percent.

Hey, uh, Jack.

Why don't you come over here and let your old man show you

how to grill a flank steak, huh?

Oh, um...

Yeah, I actually was just about to go do some stuff.

-Yeah. -I would love to, though.

Maybe later, thanks!

Howdy, broseph.

What's up?

Just, you know, saying hi.

Can I come in?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, look at that. Your Little League trophies.

Man. You used to love baseball.

You remember the time we went to the Hall of Fame?

Yeah. I mean, you, you got bit by a snake at a rest stop.

And then we spent the whole trip at Cooperstown Hospital.

We still had a blast. Got to admit.

We should go back.

Or go anywhere.

Taking trips, you know. Me and you.

Can I pop a squat?

Look...

I know you're not a little kid anymore,

and it's natural for you to pull away from your parents.

But I wanna let you know...

that I'll always be your dad.

Okay, um, thanks, Dad.

And if you ever wanna talk about any changes in your body...

Listen, I get it. It's, it's normal.

I mean, we got the same parts, right?

And I've been through it, so I'm, I'm here for you.

Thanks. Um, I'm gonna...

Do your thing.

Give me... Give me one of those.

-Okay. -All right.

Okay, anyway.

Hey, I love you.

Dude, you're kidding, right?

My dad tried to have the same talk with me.

It was terrible, okay? It ended with him kissing me on the lips.

Seriously?

To be fair, I did initiate it,

but I panicked, okay?

I just wanted out of that conversation.

-Okay. -They've been stressing me out so much,

I broke out in a rash.

Dude, really?

-Me too. -Is this puberty?

I think it's Poison oak.

Let's get ready for Game Night!

Call us if you need us. Later, fools. Dab!

She saw it on one of her mom vlogs.

Just so you know, I'm gonna kill you immediately,

and then I'm gonna keep killing you until you beg for mercy.

You know you could kill other players and give me a chance to get better.

No.

Where's your headset?

Aw, man. I left it at home.

Sorry.

Fine.

Doesn't look like anybody's home.

No, I see your mom and dad's shoes. See, I don't get that.

What's the point of having your own house

if you're not even allowed to wear shoes inside?

What's that?

-Is that your backyard? -I don't know.

Maybe they decided to watch a movie or something.

What kind of game is this?

Jack?

My coffee table's floating.

Let's get out of here.

What, are they witches or something?

I don't know. They could be in a cult.

Yeah, so what do we do? Should we call the police?

And tell them what?

That our parents were in robes and levitating furniture?

We need to figure out what's going on first.

Right.

How do we do that?

Whatcha doing, pal?

Um, I was, I was just looking for my fishing rod...

...for the lake trip.

It's in the garage.

Oh, okay, thank you.

Hey, you, uh, skipped breakfast this morning.

Is everything okay, son?

Yeah, everything's fine.

I just... just a little tired, you know.

A changing body needs its rest, I guess.

Little tadpole's losing his tail.

Yes, yeah, exactly.

That's me.

Ribbit.

Anyways, Dad,

I, I have to go... meet Ronald.

But thank, thank you.

Okay.

I knew it.

So you recognize it?

Unfortunately.

Zugarians.

What, what are Zugarians?

Why "unfortunately"?

Boys.

There's no easy way to tell you this.

Your parents are aliens.

Come on.

This town has been a hotbed of alien activity for years.

In the '80s, they started abducting humans,

replacing them with lookalikes...

-Wait, so you're saying our parents-- -Sorry, kid.

Chances are, your real parents ended up as hors d'oeuvres

on a Zugarian space cruiser.

If they took our parents, why wouldn't they take us?

Because they, they take the parents first

and they wait for their offspring to mature.

What do you mean, "mature?" Like...

Like puberty?

Exactly.

How long have you had those?

-Poison oak? -That's not Poison oak.