Love Me If You Dare (Jeux d'enfants)

Child's Play

I like jacks, Monopoly,

but only when I'm banker.

I love marbles. I always win.

Snakes and ladders is dumb.

But less than checkers, Rubik's cube and puzzle blocks.

Riddles aren't my thing.

Yam's, patience, hopscotch, they're okay.

Tag's alright, but that's about it.

Yet there's one game you must never play.

And I mean never!

Even if your best buddy wants you to.

And that's burying yourself in a block of cement!

This game started with a pretty house.

A pretty bus with no driver.

A pretty box...

and a pretty girlfriend.

No, in fact, I'm wrong.

It began a little earlier

with a disgusting, meaningless word, like...

Metastasis!

Sure! Why not "mammoth" while you're at it?

And, it made Mommy cry.

Anyway, doctors suck.

Their words suck.

Their trousers suck.

So what could they know about moms?

And then, there are other nasty words.

Like, "Kowalsky".

Don't ask. It means nothing either.

Kowalsky and also... Polack!

And... Dirty Polack!

Not forgetting... Polack! Brassneck!

But all that means pretty much the same:

It means: "I hurt, like nothing on Earth,

Mars, or even Altair IV!"

You like it, eh?

Me too, I find it pretty.

Let me see.

It's a treasure? A real one?

I've never seen such a pretty merry-go-round, ever!

Maybe on Altair IV, but not on Earth.

I have.

Where? A real merry-go-round? It really exists?

Yes, my angel, here...

and here.

And here too!

Julien, take the bus today, I've to stay with your mom.

Off you go, my Ju-Ju...

Mom, Mom...

Your treasure!

Keep it. My only treasure is you.

Dirty Polack!

Sophie?

Must be mistaken, I'm Dirty Polack.

Sophie had nothing precious that day either.

So, I had to share.

You'll lend it sometimes?

Give and take back.

You really want it, prove it.

Game or not?

That was it!

I think that's how it all really began.

My bus!

My bus!

Game!

What did you do?

What did you do? Answer me!

Nothing! Don't let him hit me!

He won't! Stop!

You've no right!

You shut up!

Answer me!

Don't let him hit me!

He won't! Game!

Don't, you've no right!

Stop! Be quiet!

Thinking about it, Dad never did like Sophie much,

right from the start.

The game just fell into place.

If Sophie had the box

I'd do her every dare.

Then I'd get the box back,

and give her a dare.

Dead simple.

And great fun, no?

A game for morons?

Maybe so,

but it was our game.

One times seven!

Two times seven!

Three times seven! 21.

Four times seven! 28.

Five times seven! Thirty-five!

Six times seven! Forty-two!

Seven times seven! Forty-nine!

With the letter "A",

common nouns beginning with "A"?

An animals.

Animals!

An animal, two animals!

Anybody else? Sylvie?

Apricot!

Very good, apricots!

Now, "B"...

Nouns beginning with "B"?

Yes, Sophie?

"B" for...

"Big-dick", "bonk"...

Sophie!

"B" for "beat the beaver", "bordello"...

"balls"..."blow-job"...

Enough!

"Bug-eyed baboon"...

"Bitchbag"...

"Beat it bitchbag!"

Think you're funny, miss? What language!

I'm giving you zero, "Z" for "zero"!

We'll see if the principal

thinks it's funny.

Julien! What's going on?

To the principal's with Sophie!

"Boner".

What?

"B" for "boner".

Didn't have time!

Discipline!

Discipline is the mother of respect.

Without respect, it's the end of civilization.

The decay of the fundaments of the city.

Loutocracy!

And all thanks to who?

Miss Kowalsky and Mr. Janvier, eh?

Game.

Sorry, Mr. Janvier?

If it's of interest, pray tell me.

What half-baked idea crossed your sickly brain

to dare interrupt me?

You surely imagine, Mr. Janvier...

It was a great game,

only no one found it funny.

Separate them!

Separate them, Miss!

Separate us?

They were never game for that!

Mr. Janvier...

Come join your comrade, Miss Kowalsky.

Great minds think alike, no?

Know the meaning of the word punishment?

What future will she have if you don't

inculcate a minimum of education?

Hey, I'm not her mother!

Vulgarity is not on the curriculum

of the Academy, Miss Kowalsky.

So I must, once again, summon your parents.

Our parents don't speak French.

For them, "dick" means "hammer".

Anything else?

And you won't know what's hit you!

You're deprived of dessert, outings, TV...

No more sweets,

no more comics,

and no more light in the corridor!

Now, go get your coat.

That's enough!

Cool, you too!

Straight to your room! Julien, don't wake your mom!

Mom!

We ate this neat thing n the canteen!

You stayed in bed all day? Lucky you!

No!

I had dictation!

Listen, Julien...

A doctor came today.

I'd five mistakes. And guess what?

Ju-Ju, be nice, I...

I got 10 in recitation. Wanna hear it?

And I did something really silly.

Friends are like specs.

They make you look clever, but get scratched,

and you tire.

Luckily, sometimes, you hit on far-out specs.

Me...

I've got Sophie.

Now, words beginning with "A".

Aardvark... Good.

Austria. Very good.

Ass... Altair IV.

Continue.

Game or not?

Game!

I'm giving you a zero, you hear?

To the principal!

Discipline!

Forever discipline!

Don't say I didn't tell you!

This time you're being warned!

You can kiss Eden goodbye! Now sparks will really fly!

You, my dear,

in pain hall you bring forth children, wear high heels,