Till Death Us Do Part

21 years after defeat

in the great war to end wars

Germany parades her military strength.

Today's German war machine presents

an awe-inspiring spectacle.

Manpower in the millions.

Thousands of aeroplanes, guns and tanks.

The last word in scientific skill and destructive power.

They're all cardboard they are.

All bloody cardboard, ain't they?

Oh, blimey.

He don't think he's gonna frighten anybody with them, do he?

He's probably got blokes inside peddling 'em.

Shush.

Never mind about shush, I'm just saying, en' I?

I mean, it's your propaganda, ennit?

It's your bloody Goebbels.

Trying to kid everyone they got army.

They look real to me.

Anything can look real on a film, can't it?

It's your propaganda I tell ya, bloody Goebbels.

I mean, he's famous for his propaganda en' he?

I mean, he's the one who reckons

your Germans are a super race.

Super race?

He's a bloody cripple his-self for a start off.

Crap super race.

Oh blimey, look at 'em.

Load of bloody squareheads.

Get off!

Of a parliamentary system as it is today.

Fascism and fascism alone

stands for the revolutionary change in that system.

Fascism alone is determined

to modernise and rationalise civilization.

As I was saying,

we give 'em bloody super race last time, didn't we, eh?

They get the bloody same they start again

and your bloody itai, Musso.

I mean, he's alright having a go

at a bunch of ignorant bloody wogs out in Abyssinia

but he starts on us mate

and he'll find out he's up against

more than a few bloody spears, I tell ya!

They won't start a war with us.

Too bloody scared too.

Another thing, all that talk about us being unarmed.

Bloody rubbish, that is.

I mean, what does bloody Churchill know?

He's out in the wilderness, en' he?

Chamberlain's your Prime Minister.

He's the one what knows.

Course we're armed.

Armed to the bloody teeth, we are.

Rag and bone

Any old lumber?

Any old rags, bottles and bones?

Bring out your lumber.

Any old rags, bottles and bones?

Any old lumber?

Your British lion might be asleep

but he ain't bloody dead mate.

They pull his tail and he'll turn round

and bite their bleedin' head off.

Get off out of it.

What the bloody hell's this then?

It come today.

It's your gas mask and your shelter.

Shelter?

What do I want that for then?

Go on, hop it, go and play in your own street.

That you, Bert?

Yeah, cor god.

Blimey, you sound happy.

Been in and out of 'ere all day, en' I?

On the booze last night, was ya?

Yeah, I had a drop.

I don't think it's that, though.

Never done it before, not the beer ain't.

Ahh, it's probably a bug innit?

It could be, I suppose.

Get a lot of 'em round here, ya know?

They come off the boats you see.

It's your bloody coloureds that bring them in.

Yeah.

Looks a bit black dunnit?

What?

Papers.

Threatened to go in to Poland, en' he?

What, Hitler?

Yeah.

He won't, we told him he mustn't and he won't.

Dunno, I don't like the look of it me-self.

I mean, don't suppose he's got any planes for a start off.

Dunno, he's got the planes alright.

Yeah, well he might have, he might have

but has he got the strategical raw materials?

You what?

The petrol!

Petrol.

I should think so.

He seems to have most things, dun' he?

Soon cut his supplies off, can't we?

I mean, look,

he ain't got enough petrol of his own, has he?

I mean, ain't got no bloody oil wells in Germany, has he?

He's gotta go abroad for it, en' he?

Right, all we gotta do then, blockade him.

Bung the navy on his doorstep.

That'll soon 'em up.

Same as we done in the last lot.

Cut him off.

Finished?

Yeah, for now.

Don't know how long for though.

See ya, Alf.

Do you want a cup of tea?

Course I do.

Silly moo.

Ooooowwww!

We interrupt this programme

to remind you that the Prime Minister

will broadcast to the nation at 11.00 a.m.

on this wavelength.

Ooh, ooh.

The blessing of God almighty be with you

and remain with you, now and always.

You have been listening to Songs of Praise

brought to you by the BBC singers from our studio.

There will now be a short interlude of piano music.

What you got this door locked for?

I'm having a bath en' I?

Well, there's only me in the house

and I've seen you without your clothes on.

It's nothing to do with that.

I am entitled to a bit of privacy, en' I?

Yes, well, I want to get out the back.

Well, you'll have to wait my dear, won't you?

I can't wait.

Bloody woman.

Look, every time I get in the bath

you wanna go out the back.

Hurry up, I'm bursting.

It ain't bloody fair.

Don't shut the door, will ya?

Bleedin' moo.

Oh god, no.

This is the BBC.

Here is the Prime Minister,

the right honourable Neville Chamberlain.

I am speaking to you

from the cabinet room of 10 Downing Street.

This morning, the British Ambassador in Berlin

handed the German government a final note

stating that unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock

that they were prepared, at once,

to withdraw their troops from Poland

a state of war would exist between us.

I have to tell you now,

that no such undertaking has been received

and that consequently this country is at war with Germany.

Right.

Come on!

You was wrong, wasn't you?

About not going to be a war, wasn't you?

Look, I said he wouldn't start nothing with us.

That's what I said.

And he ain't has he because it's us what started on him.

Bloody well serves him right, too.

'Cause he's been asking for it for a long time.

And now he's gonna get it!

I bet old Adolf's shakin' in his bloody shoes right now.

About that thing, I wondered what the hell it was.

Didn't you?

Nothin' up there, is there?

Except a few clouds.

False alarm, en' it?

False alarm, Grandad!

Hey?

Blimey, somebody must've panicked.

You coming up the pub then, Alf?

Right panic, en' it?

You goin' to the pub like that then?

Please stand by

for the important government announcement

which will follow almost immediately.

Cor blimey, it'll be all over soon enough.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Be all over soon, Fred.

I bloody hope so.

Hey, Alf?

You playing bloody darts or having a sing-song?

Just buying a drink.

This is the BBC Home and Forces programme.

Here is the Prime Minister,

the right honourable Neville Chamberlain.

I'm not now going to make

any comment upon the debate in the House of Commons

which took place on Tuesday and Wednesday last.

By the afternoon of today,