Candleshoe

Come on!

Whoa!

Hey!

Come on, let's get 'em.

Look what I brought you.

Can't say that Casey Brown doesn't pay her own way.

Wait a minute, there's more.

Come back!

Let go of me. I'm a minor.

You behave yourself, or I'll knock you cross-eyed.

You creeps! You lousy creeps!

You sold me out to the cops?

Shut up! Well, this is her.

Hey.

Let's go. Look, I packed her things.

She won't need them.

Well, they're no good to me.

Creeps!

You can't pin anything on me.

I got an alibi.

I was with 3 other guys watching TV when it happened.

Big dude.

You think I can't bust out of juvenile hall?

You think I can't?

I can bust out anytime I want, do you hear?

Anytime I want. Yeah.

Hey, give me a break, will you? I'm clean.

I've never done anything like this in my whole life.

Out.

This ain't no juvenile hall.

Wait for me.

So, it's a hotel. Now what?

Now you take a bath. What for?

Because I said so, that's what for.

Don't nobody knock around this place?

Who is this joker?

The markings are just about the way you described them.

Yes.

Where'd you get those scars?

Rudolph Valentino beat me 'cause I wouldn't marry him.

That's the last time you sauce me. Now...

Where did those scars come from?

I don't remember.

Just keep on not remembering.

Put those on.

Excellent work, Mr. Jenkins. I'm pleased. Good.

- Anything else, Mr. Bundage? - No.

- A dress? - Put it on.

You will send me a bill.

Mr. Bundage, our agreement was payment on delivery.

So it was, so it was.

And Harry Bundage always honors his agreements.

I will write you a check.

"Casey Brown, no parents, no memory of home.

Apparent age, 14. Character, bellicose.

Four times remanded to juvenile hall.

One time committed to correctional facility." Dear.

So you know who I am. Who are you?

My name is Harry Bundage. My business is finance.

Investments. The putting together of deals.

I am a business man.

- You're a hustler. - Eh?

A con man. I can smell them a mile away.

You take care your smeller don't end up where your ears ought to be!

You're right, my dear, of course.

Ha, ha!

I'm a man who knows an opportunity when he sees it.

And you are my opportunity, and I am yours.

Opportunity for what?

The opportunity to become the honorable Margaret...

Fourth marchioness St. Edmund of Candleshoe.

That's you again, aged three,

sitting on your mum's lap,

taken just before your father carried you off. What happened to the mother?

She died a year after the little girl disappeared.

That's the grandma at the back.

The kidnappin' made headlines for weeks.

That's from a Los Angeles paper nearly ten years ago.

And that's the last. What happened to the kid?

Oh, she may have survived the crash,

wandered off somewhere...

In a state of shock afterwards.

Or her father could have left her somewhere...

And she wasn't in the car at all.

Anyway, she was never found.

Which is where I come in, right, Harry?

Exactly. You are the perfect double.

The age is the same, the scars are the same.

And with what else I've got planned...

You'll be able to fool St. Peter, himself.

Sounds perfect... but I got a couple of questions.

Certainly.

Coffee? No, thanks.

All right. Question number one,

there's got to be a bundle in it for you,

right, Harry?

You could say there's that possibility.

Okay, question number two. What's in it for me?

For you?

A trip to Europe, luxurious hotel,

jet flight into the wild blue yonder.

Okay. What's in it in hard cash?

Trust Harry Bundage. You'll be taken care of.

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

No. Either we got a deal up front or no deal at all.

What do you mean, no deal? Either we got a deal,

or you can find yourself another look-alike...

For the fourth marchioness of what's-his-face.

Ha. I like your style.

Pure larceny, sixteen...

Bloody ounces to the pound.

All right.

What kind of a deal have you got in mind?

- One third of the action. - One third?

- Dirty little guttersnipe! - Remember, you like my style.

A third.

I'll give you five percent. Twenty.

Ten. Less expenses.

Okay, ten.

And a red Ferrari.

A red Ferrari?

You can't even get a driving license.

You get the Ferrari and I'll get the license.

It's a deal.

What's our next move?

Our next move is to get out of town quick...

Before Jenkins tries to cash that check.

Buckingham Palace,

home of the kings and queens of england.

The royal standard's flying.

That means her majesty must be in residence.

God bless her.

Yeah? I'll have to give her a ring.

Clara!

Oh, Harry! You're back then?

Looks like it.

That's her.

That's the one.

'Ello, deary. 'Ow are you, then?

All right, then?

Ohhh, seems we got a ripe one 'ere.

You wasn't born yesterday, was you?

Well, Clara. What are you thinking?

Will she pass for the little lady Margaret?

She could convince me, all right.

What's that?

"That" is my cousin,

Miss Clara Grimsworthy,

formerly in service at Candleshoe.

And she's got all the answers.

Yeah? Answers to what?

To the questions you've been asking.

Here, Clara. Fetch it out.

Now, then. Have you ever been on a treasure hunt?

No, I don't suppose you have,

not with your deprived childhood.

I ain't deprived. I'm delinquent.

There's a difference, you know.

Well, a treasure hunt is what we are about to embark on.

But it ain't a kids' game, it's the real thing.

And this,

this... is our "open sesame."

A cruddy piece of paper?

Listen, Miss Clever Dick,

that cruddy piece of paper, as you call it,

happens to be the last will and testament,

supposedly lost,

of Captain Joshua St. Edmund,

Marquis of Candleshoe.

Now, sit down there and listen.

Suppose I was to tell you...

That Captain Joshua was a pirate,

a "privateer" they called it when they was nobility.

And that one-armed rascal, he was one of the best.

He brought back enough booty...

To ransom a maharajah!

And he hid it somewhere in Candleshoe.

Only no one ain't ever found it.

Then one day, I comes along...

Who's telling this story, Clara?

Then one day...

Clara comes along. She's polishing the bedpost...

In Captain Joshua's old room,

and she finds a little secret door, and behind it...

Is this.

And then when she gets the sack... I resigned.

When she resigned, she takes the will with her.

And she brings it to dear cousin Harry.

How do you know it's the Real McCoy?

Heh-heh-heh.

Look at this.

A Spanish doubloon.

Just to whet the appetite, as you might say.

How much is it worth?

Four thousand dollars.

Hey...

And there's thousands of them.

So he tells where he hid the gold in the will.

Not likely. That old black villain...

Ain't givin' anything away for nothing.