The Simpsons

D’oh!

D’oh!

-D’oh! -D’oh!

-D’oh! -D’oh! -D’oh!

Ah!

Hey.

What took you so long?

Excuse me.

Are you leaving?

No, sorry.

I’m not leaving.

Sorry, not leaving.

Not quite yet.

I’m sorry.

I’m not leaving.

So what are you doing?

Oh, I like creating disappointment.

You know that little moment where people’s hope dies?

I feed on that.

Uh, is this space free?

You know as a matter of fact... it ain’t!

Ahh, that’s heavenly.

Mom, you tricked us!

We thought this was going to be a fun trip to the mall!

We listened to music radio in the car.

And since you kids behaved,

we’ll pick one fun thing to do here.

I want to go lecture the food court businesses

that are still using Styrofoam.

Lead-based toys! Lead-based toys!

Sit on a bench! Sit on a bench!

For once, we’ll do what Maggie wants.

Oh, Maggie’s thing?

She won’t even remember that we did it!

None of you kids ever remember

any of the nice things we do for you.

-Like what? -Food.

-Pass. -Shelter?

-That dump?! -Clothing?

I wouldn’t blow my nose into this.

Hmph!

Hmph!

Welcome to Stuff-N-Hug, a Funworks Lovelab!

I’m used to buying my critters pre-made.

How does your store differ?

Why should I tell you,

when we’ve got a video that shows you!

Video’s broken, Alan!

Call Eric!

I’m Eric!

Black Eric!

I want a poodle.

I’d stay away from poodles.

They give the dog... ideas.

How much love do you want in your Stuff-N-Hug?

I want all the love.

Snow day!

So little girl,

what outfit do you want for your dolphin?

-Doctor. -Okay...

nurse it is.

: Professor.

Kindergarten teacher.

-Chef! -Lunch lady!

-CEO! -Secretary to a CEO.

You know, it’s a boy dolphin.

Oh... here you go,

Doctor.

We fooled her... Betsy.

Hmm.

Bart is awesome.

Bart is awesome.

Wow, this guy could put Milhouse out of business.

Oh, (chuckles).

Well, this is kind of a cute outfit.

Homer is a lard butt.

What did you say?

Homer has booger breath.

It’s a medical condition!

Homer is a big jerk.

Who told you these things about me?

Dung muncher.

-Stink brains. -Cheese wang.

Captain Crud.

I don’t want to get mad, but I will!

-B.O. Baracus. -Mount Baldy. -Tub of Guts.

-Crapper Clogger. -Oh, that’s it!

Uh, Mom, we got a code four.

I’ll kill you all!

It didn’t have to go down like this!

The door’s open!

I think someone broke in!

Don’t worry. I’m ready for this.

Bart, fetch "The Defender."

Yes, sir!

: I hear noises coming from the kitchen.

Uh-oh, that’s where the food sleeps.

: Wait a minute.

I smell apples, cinnamon,

crust.

It’s a pie!

Why would a robber make pie?

Who cares?

If you kill him, we’ll be on TV!

You’re right, boy!

Hmm? Mom!

My aquarium!

Hello, Homer.

You’re alive!

And you baked a pie!

Homie, what’s going on?

I’m fighting the robber!

You go get ice cream!

Mom, I can’t believe you’re here.

You keep disappearing and reappearing

and it’s not funny.

You’re just like that show Scrubs.

Homer, I’m sorry I had to pretend to be dead.

But it worked

because the government isn’t looking for me anymore.

I can finally stop running and be your mom.

-No, thanks. -What do you mean?

Every time you go, I feel abandoned.

But not this time.

I’m not gonna let myself get hurt.

Homer, I’m through protesting

and chaining myself to things.

I’ve realized that the most important thing

in my life is you.

That’s what your mouth says,

but my ears are too smart to believe it.

In fact, I don’t even want your pie.

You already ate the whole thing.

Well, I’m not going to digest it!

Wow, Dad was so cute as a baby.

When did he lose his cuteness?

Oh, I have a picture of that right here.

I do feel bad for missing

so much of Homer’s childhood.

But at least he wasn’t raised by a television.

See you later, honey.

Mommy has to go chain herself to a nuclear submarine.

Hugs and kisses!

Mmm.

You left a hole in my heart

that could never be filled.

So I filled it with food.

But I’m never full.

ANNOUNCER (on TV): Welcome back

to the ESPY Awards.

Our next presenters are Lance Armstrong and Fozzy Bear.

Wokka, wokka, wokka!

That’s right, Fozzy, and this year’s

Right Guard Keeping Cool Under Pressure Award goes to...

Hey, Lance, nice trousers.

Did you win those at the Tour de Pants?

Wokka, wokka!

Yeah, well, I never thought you were funny. Ever.

Wokka, wokka!

Wokka, wokka?

Anyway, the Right Guard Keeping Cool Under Pressure Award goes to...

-(TV clicks off) -Oh, I don’t even care.

Homer?

Are you okay?

I’m fine.

It’s my feelings that are mad.

Oh, sweetheart, when I left you,

it was because I thought I could

make the world a little bit better.

Maybe all I did was make my own world a lot worse.

I only hope you can forgive me.