The Lego Batman Movie

Now that I'm letting you come down here and play,

guess who else gets to come down here and play?

Who?

Your sister.

Your sister.

What?

Well, things sure have a way of working out smoothly.

Am I right, guys?

What?

We are from the planet duplo, and we are here to destroy you.

Oh, man!

You're going to have to get past us.

- Specifically me. - Oh, it's on!

Yar!

Wait, guys. There's no need to fight anymore.

I got this.

Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea.

Here we go.

Hello, visitors from another planet.

You are just as special

as we are.

See? Friends.

Ooh!

Yes.

What do you know? It worked.

Even though we're different,

I guess if we open our hearts everything can be...

More!

- More! - More!

More! More! More!

Oh, no!

Attack!

Run!

We wanna play with you, kitties.

Fire the laser cannons!

I eat lasers!

That's impossible!

You missed me!

No, I did not!

They're so adorably destructive!

Hey, guys. Listen up.

Everyone, get along!

Done! Fixed it! I'm going golfing.

President Business, you have to stay and help us!

I'm sure you guys can sort it out amongst yourselves.

You're great at that stuff. Bye. Gotta go.

Don't worry, Lucy!

Everything can still be awesome!

It wasn't awesome.

We fought them off,

but they kept returning.

Let's dance!

Every time we rebuilt,

they kept coming after whatever bright and shiny thing

caught their eye,

and always accompanied by catchy pop music.

A league of brave heroes

volunteered to chase them to wherever they came from.

My man!

Where's Batman?

He's off having a separate standalone adventure.

You almost forgot me, guys.

Oh, did we?

I'm literally a lantern. How did you miss me?

That's my whoops.

Fear not, citizens, I shall shed...

Guys, can you just reopen the... Guys, just reopen the...

You're not gonna?

I don't care, it's just feelings. Stuff 'em down.

We may never know

if they even made it to the aliens or were lost

in the dreaded Stairgate.

A lifetime has passed since then. We grew up.

Abandoned anything cute, shiny, poppy, or young.

And from the wreckage, we built a grittier,

cooler, more mature society.

We call it Apocalypseburg.

And it is a heckish place to live.

We don't serve decaf!

Show weakness and you'll be eaten alive.

This new life has toughened and hardened us all.

Two coffees, please!

One black, one with just a touch of cream and 25 sugars.

Well, toughened most of us.

Good morning, Apocalypseburg!

Oh! Almost ran me over. Classic!

Good morning! Hello, cyborgs.

- I say Sean Connery! - Daniel Craig!

I say Roger Moore!

You're crazy! Pierce Brosnan!

- George Lazenby. - Who?

Daniel Craig for life!

Hey! Surfer Dave!

It's Chainsaw Dave now!

Morning, Scribble Cop!

Morning, Sewer Babies!

This song never gets old.

- Me organs! - Oh, sorry!

Oh, good morning, Sherry.

Scarfield. Death face, Metal Scratch.

Razor, Laserbeam,

Fingernail, ToxinToes...

Jeff.

Hey, Batman! How was your last adventure?

Good, really good. Saved the world. Again.

Learned the value of friendship.

I loved. I lost, and I'm good with it...

And it's totally on brand for me to be a loner with a broken heart.

It's what the fans want.

So, yeah, no, I'm good with it. Just me and Alfred.

Not a terse laugh.

And, um, what about you?

Awesome!

Once I was a rebel, fighting for a righteous cause.

Now, I only fight to survive.

Everything was awesome.

Now everything is bleak.

- Hey, Lucy! - Oh! Hi.

I brought you coffee!

Coffee!

The bitter liquid that provides the only semblance of pleasure

left in these dark times.

Oh, my goshness! Did I interrupt you brooding just now?

Ah, this brooding sesh is not really going anywhere.

Man, I wish I could brood like you.

Look, all you gotta do is just stare off into the distance

and then narrate whatever grim thoughts come into your mind.

What if one day there was no coffee?

More like, "War hardens the heart."

"War hardens our hearts..."

Okay, I'm thinking, it's more like, "War..."

- "War!" - Hang on.

- "War." No. "War." - "War!"

- "War!" - "War."

"War." I can't do this!

I'm too happy to see you.

What's the scariest thing you can think of?

Oh, come to think of it, I actually had a nightmare last night.

Nightmares are super broody. What was it about?

All right, um, so it started with this dolphin in a top hat.

Uh-huh.

And the dolphin says in a weird voice...

It's 5:15 p.m.

Oh, I forgot to mention his chest was a clock.

Okay, I'm thinkin' darker, broodier, less fish.

Oh, and Batman was there, and he was covered in glitter.

There was a talking ice cream cone.

This isn't really the broodiest.

And then, these scary black holes open up in the ground.

They started to suck everybody I've ever cared about out of my life!

And Gandalf was there. And he shouted...

It's Armamageddon!

Emmet!

No!

And you disappeared into the void,

never to be seen again.

Not bad brooding!

Oh! Thanks!

That was definitely just a dream, right?

Not some vision of the future?

No, no, no. This is my vision of the future.

A little lower, to the left.

Ta-da!

A house?

Come on! Let me give you the tour.

Very first one on the cul-de-sac.

This is the living room, where you can live it up.

TV room, dining room,

Planty's room, kitty cat room...

Of course, the kitchen,

complete with breakfast nook, lunchtime nook, and fireman pole.

Which leads to water slide...

Trampoline room...

Monkey-barring all the way up to...

Toaster room!

So you can have toast or waffles at any time!

Oh!

And out back, a double-Decker porch swing,

so we can always hang together!

What do you think?

Uh... Wow. Um...

It's sweet.

It is. It's just, uh...

It's going to attract aliens and get destroyed.

But maybe it won't.

I just thought we could rebuild the future.

Make everything awesome again.

Emmet...

You gotta stop pretending everything is awesome.

It isn't.

Every morning, you walk through town,

singing that terrible, annoying, manufactured pop song!

That song really seems to upset you.

- No, it doesn't. - Oh, my mistake.

That song was fine when we were younger,

but we also have to grow up sometime.

Can you do that for me?

Well, yeah. I can try.

But it's easy for you. You were always a dark, goth rebel.

Yes, of course I was.