Mid90s (mid90s)

It's fucking bullshit!

Oh, my God. Shut the fuck up!

You shut the fuck up!

- Fuck you! - You are out of line!

Get the fuck out of my way.

Don't worry about my fucking grades, you bitch!

What are you doing all day?

I'm your fucking mother! Get back here!

Don't fucking touch me!

Get out of my way!

You're blocking the fucking door!

Get the fuck out of my way!

Call her by yourself.

Know what? You suck, you little fucker!

For real, where are the car keys?

What the fuck? If you don't get the fuck out of my way--

Don't worry about my fucking shoes!

Stay out of my fucking room, Stevie.

'Sup, fool?

I haven't called that guy, Todd, back yet.

He's fine.

I'm attracted to him.

Oh.

He seems a bit playerish to me though.

I always have to remember to hit "pause" when I start feeling something.

- Orange juice. - Please.

Jesus. At my 18th birthday party, I was breastfeeding you.

Can you imagine having a baby right now?

Ian.

I, uh...

I got you something.

I know you don't have this one.

I love me a mature woman, though.

You know-- Hey, you sexy ladies wanna see a trick?

- Mm-hmm. - Right here.

Get the fuck out of the front of my store. Where's Ken?

- Fuck you, man. - Not here!

I'm not fucking scared of you guys.

I fought in fucking Desert Storm, you fucking pussies.

Go back inside, dumb ass.

- Don't even bother. - Fuck you!

Right now, you know, we're just maxing in the studio.

We're hailing from East Oakland in California,

and, you know, sometimes it gets a little hectic out there.

But, right know, yo, we're going up in an hour. Check this.

What is wrong with your brain?

That's probably the worst "would you rather" I've ever heard.

What about, would you rather...

suck you dad's dick...

or eat your mom out?

- What the fuck? - What?

Oh, my gosh.

- What kind of conversation is this, bro? - Yeah, yo.

- Fuckshit. - What's up?

Would you rather suck your dad dick

or eat your mom out?

You would suck your dad's dick, right?

- Shut the fuck up. - That's not a weird answer.

Shut up, Fourth Grade.

- Shut the fuck up. - Life or death. Come on.

Hey, whatever I'm doing, I'm druggin' one of them motherfuckers.

I'm not gonna say who, but I'm gonna drug the motherfuckers

till they sleep.

- You're gonna rape your parents? - Shit.

- Huh? - That's, like, that's rape.

I'd rather rape one of my parents than to consciously--

Yo, what the fuck?

I'm not tripping. Life or death.

Life or death. Fuck it, I just raped my parents.

Or one of 'em.

Hey, for real, I'm never coming back here again.

- Wow. - Y'all niggas scaring off customers.

This is not a accurate representation of what we usually talk about.

Y'all are bad for business, my nigga.

Is there any way that you could just, like, forget I even asked.

- I feel really weird now. - Oh, hell no.

Yo, these niggas are in Paris

eating nice dinners, staying at nice hotels.

I've been to France before. Them niggas are assholes.

Yeah, but you were with your parents. Like, imagine if that was us.

How much cash you got?

I don't have any.

I'll trade you for your Discman.

Well, it's just that I use my Discman all the time.

Mom gave it to my for my birthday and Christmas.

Wait, wait! I'll give you anything in this room, just not the Discman, please.

You don't even fucking know about music anyway.

It's Saturday. Blockbuster night.

What do you wanna watch?

Sorry. I wanna skate.

- Look at this. It's beautiful. - I like this one.

One dog goes one way and the other dog goes the other way.

One is going east, and the other is going west. So what?

And this guy's saying, "What do you want from me?"

Fuck!

I'm skating like shit today, man.

Looks cool to me.

I'm Ruben.

I'm Stevie.

Let me get some water.

Damn, you already drank all of it?

Fill that up, man.

Yo, Stevie, go fill this up, yo.

Yeah!

Thanks, little man.

Whoo! Refreshing.

Shit, this is relaxing.

You smoke?

Yeah. These one's are just... different brand.

Thank you.

What are you, gay?

- What? - Why the fuck you thanking me?

Don't fucking thank people, man. It's faggot as fuck, yo.

- Oh, sorry. I didn't know that. - It's fine. Now you know.

Just don't thank people. They're gonna think you're gay.

Oh, I won't do it again.

Yeah, you gotta fucking pay attention to me, man.

I'm a fucking badass. You're a little-ass kid.

You should fucking look up to me.

I smoke.

I skate.

- I fuck bitches. - Dang.

I'm pretty much the shit. I'm living the life.

All you have is this fucking dinosaur board.

That shit is '80s as fuck.

It's got, like, a neon dinosaur and it's screaming "Cowabunga."

You look retarded.

You gotta get a new fucking board, man.

How much are they?

I don't know. Probably, like, $120 for a complete.

I'll sell you my used setup for $40.

It's a good-ass deal for you.

Wait. Don't you need your board?

I'm saving up to buy a new Motor board.

Well, thanks for selling.

See? I was about to say "thank you," but now I know how gay that is.

Don't fucking say that shit either. Just say nothing. Fuck.

Sorry.

God, you're such a fucking little kid.

Fuck, man.

What time is it?

I don't know. Probably, like, 8:00.

Oh, man. I gotta go, man.

You don't have to be home at certain time?

No, I always go home after my mom's asleep.

See you tomorrow?

- Yeah. - With 40 bucks?

- Maybe. - It's a fucking good deal.

I gotta go, but I will.

All right, you better have $40 tomorrow.

Fucking idiot.

I'm so sorry I'm late. It won't ever happen again.

It's only 7:30.

Oh.

Okay.

Don't be a pussy.

It doesn't feel right.

You came to me.

You needed 40 bucks.

That's a lot of fucking money.

Grab $40 for you and $40 for me.

All right, you're acting like a little fucking bitch!

Fine, fine, fine!

I'll do it.

Sick!

I'm gonna set this shit up.

All right, I got one.

I don't understand this shit.

Why do they say Mexicans are lazy?

Why the fuck you looking at me? Do people say that shit?

I heard this shit. It don't make sense to me.

Every time I see a Mexican, them niggas is fucking building buildings and shit.

That's fucked up, yo.

I said people say it, not I say it.

The whole point of this game is so you don't get offended.

I do have a question for Fourth Grade.

Why are white people just in love with they pets?

Like, why do they care so-- I don't get it.

For real!

For real, though. So, I'm at this white girl house, right, and we chilling.

I can hear her mom downstairs, like,

"Oh, my God. Eric didn't eat his kibble today."

Like, "I don't know." Like, "I think we need to take him to the doctor."

So, I asked, "Why is your mom feeding your little brother kibble?

Like, of course he's probably gonna get sick."

She go turn around and tell me,

"Eric is the dog, silly."

Dogs don't have feelings, you dumb bitch.

I don't even have a dog. I have a gecko.

Did this nigga just say he's got a gecko?

You got a gecko?

Yeah.

I don't know one nigga in the world with a fucking gecko.

All right, I have one.

- Can black people-- - Oh, be careful.

Okay, well,

- is it cool to be black? - What the fuck?

Nigga that's where I get all my looks from, nigga.

Silky-ass, sexy hair.

Yeah, black don't crack.