Criticized

Hey there I'm Richard Gale

The film you're about to watch is not like any of the films I've put up on YouTube

This one is not a comedy. This is a horror film

17 minutes long, that premiered at the Screamfest Film Festival in Los Angeles

in 2006. It's played in over 75 film festivals

around the world and it's won a number of awards for scariest film

if you don't like scary horror films with disturbing scenes of violence then

do not watch this film. This is your final warning. This film is not for kids and

so I age restricted it for eighteen and over only.

Dim the lights

Go full-screen HD and I hope you enjoy

CRITICIZED

Mr. Stonehall. -- Yes?

Stop moving.

if you move again you're going to be in very hot

water

It's an honor.

I'm Arthur Lements.

I almost didn't recognize you.

Must be an old picture.

the fucking hell are you doing?

If you open your mouth again without permission I will seal it shut

along with your nostrils.

I underlined my favorite parts.

Today's thrill-seeking young people are often searching for a scary new experience.

They might be bored to death, however,

if they unwittingly venture into The Ultimate Terror

A shockingly poor attempt at a horror film...

...by creatively-challenged producer-writer-director

Arthur Lements. I have seen more exciting tax returns.

Successful films have an uncanny knack

for tapping the

cultural zeit-geist and channeling it back into the audience in a fresh way.

What the fuck does that mean?

This one's as stale as moldy sourdough. It is devoid

of any texture or subtext.

Horror films should be horrific-- not horribly made.

In the final scene the way Lements filmed the knife,

it looked about as scary as a paperclip...

and a small paperclip at that.

ultimately I feel it is my solemn duty to warn you:

stay away dear readers, stay far away.

Though one or two decent scenes exist

seemingly by accident

they are but a few tiny golden kernels of corn

trapped in a gigantic, foul-smelling turd.

My only hope

is that this may be the final nail in the coffin of this hack filmmaker's

sad little career.

I'm sorry you didn't like my film.

But you should know

I worked work day and night for six years

to make it.

I spent my life savings, my marriage fell apart, I lost my house. I went deeply--

deeply in debt, destroyed by credit--

I--

I had to steal post production equipment to finish the film!

Do you know how fucking hard it is?!

I started to itch

After 50 consecutive nights in the editing room

I would scratch my skin until it was raw all over

I still do it. I wanted the film to be so good.

When I got in to the Festival I was ecstatic

and when I found out that Darian Stonehall might be coming to review the film

I was nervous as hell.

But then you took the love of my life

my newborn baby

and you mutilated it

you mutilated it

you-- you ripped it apart

in front of the whole world

But you didn't just mutilate it--

you took pleasure

you took pleasure in mutilating it!

Permission to speak?

Mr. Lements--

I've been very selfish

and I owe you an apology.

But first you have to understand something.

I write

with a scathing voice because

my readers enjoy that.

Any reviewer

is also something of a performer

of sorts-- an entertainer

I never meant to cause you any--

embarassment

or anguish. I'm sorry.

That was wrong.

But you gotta take

my review-- any review--

with a grain of salt.

I think you overestimate my influence