Loathe Thy Neighbor

Hey, I'm your new neighbor Will.

Larkfield.

You gonna pollinate the plants?

What?

You look like a fucking bumble bee.

Okay. Umm.

Did you happen to get a package for me

delivered to you house by any chance?

It's small. It's an EpiPen.

Nope. - Wow.

That's a massive pumpkin.

Do't touch that.

It's an Atlantic Giant.

Took me four months to grow this baby.

I'm going to win $5,000

at the pumpkin weigh off.

I don't need your greasy fingers on it.

Hey, hey. I might be allergic.

To pumpkin?

Figures, yo'd have a weak ass immune system.

I meant the bees. I'm not allergic to pumpkin.

I am allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, shellfish, soy, gluten, latex.

Oh, and dust mites.

So I should probably play it safe around the bees.

Although, I've never actually been stung by one.

So.

There's wasp around here.

Big ones.

So you might want to stay inside.

Be better for both of us.

Okay, well, if you happen to see my package,

could you please let me know?

It could potentially save my life.

Nice to meet you.

Come on.

Don't go in that yard.

Stay out of that yard.

Morning, beauties.

I's going to be a good day.

What the fuck?

Time to whack, ladies.

Ok, well I don't have it. I even checked with my neighbor.

How much would it be to overnight another one?

My doctor said I should carry it with me

at all times.

I'm sorry, Mr. Larkfield.

With the current shortages,

we're only able to send up one per customer.

Right. I don't even have the one per customer you're referring to.

You have to contact the post office.

We cannot help you.

Okay. Thanks.

For nothing.

Shit, there he is.

How you doing, chief? You settling in?

Joe.

Yeah. Hi. Uh.

I thought you were in my mail,

package I ordered went rogue.

Yeah, get used to that.

I'm still waiting on my headlights magazine.

Into cars, huh?

Headlights, Will.

Got it.

You don't read headlights magazine?

I'm not big into,

magazines.

Oh, shit.

Flipping through that was like a rite of passage

for me and your dad.

Hey, look about that, Will.

Sorry I didn't talk to your more at the funeral.

I was, umm

Yeah.

Strongest man in the room.

Oh. You're dad. Me?

We fucking ran this place.

This town.

And then he's the only schmuck to ever get out of this place.

Make something of himself.

And that was just brutal.

The way that ended.

His career.

Yeah, he was a great guy.

Great guy.

And he did fucking great renovations around here.

Yeah.

I haven't been up here in ages. It's completely different.

So, listen, did you get the bank transfer for this week?

I did, I did.

Thank you. And if you could just shoot me another hundo, that'd be sweet.

The weed whacker went out on us,

and I don't want to bleed your inheritan dry, but shit breaks around here.

This is my inheritance.

I'm paying you out of pocket.

Oh.

Okay.

Kind of figured the,

the old man would have left a little something to pay old Joe.

No, he donated it all to some sports concussion charity.

I guess he knew exactly what I would do with this place

when he wrote it in the will.

Okay.

Fuck it.

If you gotta sell this place.

I'll be fine.

I always am,

but for now, it won't take care of itsel

Right.

The downstairs toilet's also broken.

Okay, so I usually hire someone for that

but umm,

since Daddy Warbucks left no bucks.

I got you.

Nice.

Okay.

Hey, here she is.

Daphne.

Ohh.

What you got for daddy, Daphne?

You know I hate it when you call yourself daddy, Joe.

Fuck is this?

This doesn't look like my magazines.

Oh, aren't you a smarty?

Open it up, maybe there's a bunch of magazines.

Is that what you're looking for?

You're killing me, Daph.

No, this is way too big.

Hey,

wait.

Did you deliver a different package earlier?

A small one.

Average sized packages are perfectly acceptable.

I need to find it.

It's an EpiPen from an online pharmacy.

Ooh, fancy.

You got sexy little allergies or somethi

Lots.

That sounds nutty.

Are you allergic to

oils?

Tree nuts?

LaTeX?

I have a lot of allergies.

Cool.

Look, this is not a joke.

I can't go without it. And there's a shortage.

Okay, do't be an itchy bitchy spider up my big Ole water spout.

I'm sure it's fine.

But if it's not, which I'm sure that it

you can always just,

you know,

make a report with the missing package department or whatever or whatever.

Or whatever?

I mean, it's not lost. It's fine.

I have a perfect track record.

I'm five for five.

Five for five?

Mm-hmm

Actually, scratch that.

Make it six for six.

That's my famous package number six.

Have a nice day.

Kyle, my coffee's cold.

Hey Vince.

Hi, wow. Will, okay.

Hope you're all settled in the farm.

Yep. A few hiccups so far, but.

Yeah, well, you know, I prefer you in office.

But I respect the company policy of compassionate leave, so.

Yeah, I'm working.

I'm working remotely, but I'm still working Vince, and I'm no longer on leav

Yeah, well, le's hope. Now down to brass tacks.

You received the umbrella.

I did, it's just outside.

I was setting it up, you know, get a good feel for it.