The Suite Life on Deck

Both: Jam-ba-laya!

I'm sorry I can't join you jam-ba-losers,

But I got an "f" on my history paper

And ms. Tutweiler won't let me go ashore until I rewrite it.

Well, I told you not to write your history paper about a video game.

Hey, "knights of horror" was based in the middle ages.

And I did a lot of research.

I made it all the way to level 8.

I can't believe you made it to grade 8.

Oh well. Good luck. More delicious beignets for us.

Both: Beign-yays!

There, ladies and gentlemen,

Is the wreck of the jessie belle

Which sank 150 years ago.

- All: Ooh. - Now legend says

That its infamous skipper captain entenille

Was in such a rush to get home to propose

to his lady love jessie belle

That he misread his compass

Causing the ship to run aground on dead man's rock,

Which before that point was just called "rock."

Now some say that his restless spirit

Still haunts these waters. So watch out--

The person standing next to you

- Could be a ghost. - ( all chuckle )

Not that I believe in such silliness.

- Boo! - Ahh!

Wow, you're tiny but densely packed.

So if this is new orleans, what happened to old orleans?

Did it retire?

Yes, it retired and moved to florida.

Oh.

- ( piano music playing ) - whoa, listen to that music.

That's weird. Uslly when I walk by moseby's cabin

I hear, "mother, for the 100th time, I'm married to my job!"

- ( london squeals ) - oh!

Mr. Moseby, you play beautifully.

Uh, playing? What playing? I wasn't playing.

There's no playing here.

Why don't you two go out and play?

Oh, you were too!

On a little tiny piano

For your little tiny doll hands!

Mr. Moseby, why haven't we heard you before?

Because I don't play in public.

Why not?

Wait for it.

It was a windy fall day.

The leaves swirled angrily outside the windows

Of miss magical's school for the musically gifted.

An eight-year-old marion moseby

Strolled confidently onto the stage.

Tragically,

As I took my introductory bow,

My trousers split

Exposing my clowny-face underpants!

Clowny-face underpants!

stop it!

- Oh. - The humiliation was so great

That I passed out onstage.

As I fell I landed on my left knee

Which also destroyed my burgeoning ballet career.

ahh!

Aw.

Poor little marion--

So much promise with absolutely nothing to show for it.

If you had a 5:00 shadow and a fishing pole in your hand,

- You could be my father. - ( gasps )

Mr. Moseby, don't you miss performing?

Oh, more than anything!

But every time I try to play in front of people,

I pass out.

That happens to me every time I see bailey's ugly clothes.

You mean like this?

All right, let's see what I got so far.

"zack martin."

Oops.

M-a-r t I-n.

There we go. That's a good day's work.

All right.

What the-- "jessie belle"?

I didn't type that. Delete.

What's going on?

Okay, that was weird.

Okay, now it's officially freaky.

Ah!

Hey, zack, you missed a great time in new orleans.

We had etouffee.

- E-tou-- - forget that!

There's some seriously strange stuff happening here.

Mr. Moseby was talking about some ghost captain

And I think he's haunting the ship.

He is turning off lights and turning on blenders

And typing on my computer.

Wow. He's got more skills than you do.

Hello, ladies. Ah! Goodbye, ladies.

Look, moseby, we got you a big boy piano.

See? And since no one's around,

Why don't you just give it a try?

Well, it is a beautiful instrument, isn't it?

I know! So shiny! I can see my face in it.

- I like it. - Oh.

Give it a try.

- Would you two mind turning away? - Why?

Are your clowny-face underpants coming out for an encore?

Turn around.

Mr. Moseby, you're doing really well.

I am, aren't I?

You know...

I bet if there was an audience here right now,

- You'd be just fine. - I know.

- No no. If there was an audience-- - oh, choo-choo!

I love playing train. It's the best!

- ( hisses ) pull the cord. - Oh! Oh oh oh!

( gasps, piano clangs )

What is it? What's the big problem?

Look at my room.

What? Your room is always a mess.

I know, but I always keep my dirty sock pile

On the left side of my bed

In case I trip while I'm on my way to the bathroom.

Oh, so you have a comfy pile of dirty socks to fall in.

Clever.

But now they're on the right.

The right!

You're not going to tell us

It's the stupid captain ghost.

Shh. Don't call him stupid. He might get angry.

Why would a ghost be haunting you?

Well, he's obviously trying to communicate with me.

- Maybe he needs my help. - Cody: Your help?

You can't even write your history paper

Or fold your own underpants.

Who folds their underpants?

I do...

Promptly after ironing them.

If there really were ghosts,

The scientific community would've discovered proof years ago.

The scientific community couldn't find a ghost.

Most of them can't even find a date.

Besides, remember when we were living at the tipton?

We saw that lady ghost jump out of that portrait.

We were hormone-crazed 12-year-old boys.

We saw women popping out of everything.

Plus you don't even have any actual evidence

- Of a ghost being here. - Oh, I'll get evidence.

I set up this camera to record everything that happens here tonight.

Oh yeah. Just what everyone wants to see--

Eight hours of you scratching your nose and picking your butt.

Actually, I pick my nose and scratch my butt.

But I'm not gonna be the only one here tonight.

'cause you two are staying here too.

Woody, stop pulling my blanket off my bed.

What? I'm not even near your bed.

Ah! Ghost ghost!

- What happened? - The ghost, he pulled my blanket off my bed!

or it fell on the floor!

No, I'll prove it to you!

The camera recorded everything.

Well, that explains my chronic childhood earache.

bailey.

Don't go.

I love lu.

- ( both chuckle ) - fast forward. Fast forward.

Ew!

Look, the only horror on this tape

Is that woody just blew his nose into your underpants.

Ah, those are the clean pile, right?

Right.

All: Innocent!

Why did we all just say "innocent"?

The ghost. He possessed us in order to communicate.

I'm scared!

Okay okay, calm down. There are plenty

Of logical scientific explanations for all of this.

For example, see, the porthole-- what?

There's a ghost!

- How do we get out of here?! - Through the porthole!

Go go!

Why did we let woody go first?

Both: Push! Push!

Push!

must you wear

That hideous hat you bought in new orleans?

Hey, I love this hat.

Yes, and I love eggs benedict,

But you don't see me putting it on my head.

If there were some here, I'd put 'em on your head.

Mr. Moseby, we have a surprise for you.

Go away.