Kill Bill: Vol. 2

Do you find me sadistic?

You know, Kiddo...

I'd like to believe...

you're aware enough, even now...

to know that there's nothing sadistic...

in my actions.

At this moment...

At this moment...

this is me...

at my most masochistic.

Bill.

It's your ba...

Looked dead, didn't I?

Well, I wasn't.

But it wasn't from lack of trying, I can tell you that.

Actually, Bill's last bullet put me in a coma -

a coma I was to lie in for four years.

When I woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements refer to as

"a roaring rampage of revenge."

I roared, and I rampaged,

and I got bloody satisfaction.

I've killed a hell of a lot of people to get to this point,

but I've only one more.

The last one.

The one I'm driving to right now.

The only one left.

And when I arrive at my destination,

I am gonna kill Bill.

The incident that happened at the Two Pines Wedding Chapel

that put this whole gory story into motion

has since become legend.

"Massacre at Two Pines."

That's what the newspapers called it.

The local TV news called it,

"The El Paso, Texas Wedding Chapel Massacre."

How it happened, who was there,

how many got killed and who killed them -

changes depending on who's telling the story.

In actual fact, the massacre didn't happen during a wedding at all.

It was a wedding rehearsal.

Now, when we come to the part where I say,

"You may kiss the bride," you may kiss the bride.

But don't stick your tongue in her mouth.

This might be funny to your friends,

but it would be embarrassing to your parents.

We'll try to restrain ourselves, Reverend.

Y'all got a song?

How about "Love Me Tender"? I can play that.

- Sure. - Yeah.

"Love Me Tender" would be great.

Rufus - he's the man.

Rufus, who was that that you used to play for?

Rufus Thomas.

Rufus Thomas. Rufus Thomas.

I was a Drell. I was a Drifter. I was a Coaster.

I was part of the Gang. I was a Barkay.

If they come through Texas, I done played with 'em.

Rufus - he's the man.

- Have I forgotten anything? - Um...

Oh yes, you forgot, uh, the seating arrangements.

- Thank you, Mother. - Yes.

Now, the way we normally do this -

we have the bride's side, and then we have the groom's side.

But since the bride ain't got nobody comin',

and the groom's got far too many people comin'...

Well, yeah, they're comin' all the way from Oklahoma.

Right...

Well, I don't see no problem with...

the groom's side sharing the bride's side.

- Do you, Mother? - I don't have a problem with that.

But, uh...

Honey, you know, it would be good if you had somebody come.

You know, as a sign of good faith?

Well, I don't have anybody...

except for Tommy and my friends.

You have no family?

Well, I'm workin' on changing that.

Mrs. Harmony, we're all the family

this little angel's ever gonna need.

I'm not feeling very well, and this bitch is starting to piss me off.

So while y'all blather on, I'm gonna go outside and get some air.

OK. Um, uh, Reverend, sorry, uh...

She's gonna go out and get some air.

Yeah. Given her delicate condition...

She just needs a few minutes to get it together. She'll be OK.

Right...

Hello, Kiddo.

- How did you find me? - I'm the man.

What are you doin' here?

What am I doin'?

Well...

moment ago I was playin' my flute.

At this moment...

I'm lookin' at the most beautiful

bride these old eyes have ever seen.

- Why are you here? - Last look.

Are you gonna be nice?

I've never been nice in my whole life.

But I'll do my best to be sweet.

Hmm.

I always told you...

your sweet side is you best side.

I guess that's why you're the only one who's ever seen it.

- So you got a bun in the oven. - Hmm.

- I'm knocked up. - Jeez, Louise.

That young man of yours sure doesn't

believe in wasting time, does he?

Have you seen Tommy?

- Big guy in the tux? - Yes.

Then I saw him.

I like his hair.

You promised you'd be nice.

No, I said I'd do my best. That's hardly a promise.

But you're right.

What does your young man do for a living?

He owns a used record store here in El Paso.

- Ah. Music lover, eh? - He's fond of music.

Aren't we all?

And what are you doing for a J-O-B these days?

I work in the record store.

Aso.

It all suddenly seems so clear.

- Do you like it? - Yeah. I like it a lot, smartass.

I get to listen to music all day...

talk about music all day. It's really cool.

It's gonna be a great environment for my little girl to grow up in.

As opposed to jetting around the world, killing human beings,

and being paid vast sums of money?

Precisely.

Well, my old friend...

to each his own.

However, all cockblockery aside...

I am looking forward to meeting your young man.

I happen to be, more or less, particular whom my gal marries.

You want to come to the wedding?

Only if I can sit on the bride's side.

You'll find it a bit lonely on my side.

Your side always was a bit lonely.

But I wouldn't sit anywhere else.

You know...

I had the loveliest dream about you...

Oh, here's Tommy! Call me Arlene.

- You must be Tommy! - Uh-huh.

Arlene's told me so much about you.

- Honey, you OK? - Oh, I'm fine.

Tommy, I'd like you to meet my father.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, this is great!

I'm so glad to meet you, sir... uh, Dad.

The name's Bill.

Well, it's great to meet you... Bill.

Arlene told me you couldn't make it.

Surprise.

That's my pop for ya. Always full of surprises.

Well, in the surprise department...

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

- When did you get in? - Just now.

Did you come straight from Australia?

Of course.

Daddy, I told Tommy that you were in Perth mining for silver, and...

no one could reach you.

Lucky for us all, that's not the case.

So...

What's this all about? I've heard of wedding rehearsals,

but I don't believe I've ever heard

of a wedding dress rehearsal before.

We thought,

"Why pay so much money for a dress you're only going to wear once?"

Especially when Arlene looks so goddamn beautiful in it.

So, I think we're going to try to

get all the mileage we can out of it.

Isn't it supposed to be bad luck for the groom to see the bride

in her wedding dress before the ceremony?

Well, I guess I just believe in living dangerously.

I know just what you mean.

Son. Some of us have places to be.

Sure do.

Look, we got to go through this one

more time. So, why don't you have a s...

Oh, my God. What am I thinking? You should give her away!

Tommy, that's not exactly Daddy's cup of tea.

I think Father would be much more comfortable

sitting with the rest of the guests.

Hmm. Really?

That's asking a lot.

Oh. OK. Well, forget it.

But how about we go out to dinner tonight to celebrate?

Only on the condition that I pay for everything.

Deal. We got to do this now.

- Can I watch? - Absolutely. Have a seat.

- Which is the bride's side? - Right over here.

Mother, here we go!

Now son, about them vows...

Bill...

- I just want... - You don't owe me a damn thing.

If he's the man you want...

then go stand by him.

- Do I look pretty? - Oh, yes.

Thank you.

What the hell?