SoulBoy

For many people, the name Stoke-on-Trent

conjures up images of 19th century smoke and grime.

Of steelworks, coalmines,

and the centre of England's pottery industry.

But Stoke today couldn't be more different.

# Hey, yeah! #

Whether you're young or not so young, Stoke has plenty going on.

It may not have all the glamorous attractions of neighbouring

Liverpool, Manchester or Birmingham, but come the weekend,

Stoke folk really know how to let their hair down.

THE CROWD CHEER

Come on, Russ!

It's another hit from Mud for all you love tigers out there.

# That you love to be

# Oh, well, now, you've been layin' it down

# You got your hips swingin' out of bounds

# And I like the way you do what you're doin' to me

# All right!

# Well that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right

# I really love your tiger light

# And that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat

# I really love your tiger feet

# I really love your tiger feet

# Your tiger feet...

What the fuck do you think you are?

# Your tiger feet...

Twat.

# Your tiger feet

# All right! #

HE LAUGHS

Bringing the curtain down on another Purple Onion Saturday.

The house of L-O-V-E.

Come on, bastard!

THEY STRUGGLE WITH THE LOCK

Shhh!

Fuck's sake, Russ. No name's, man. I told you.

DOOR OPENS

Yes, we're in.

Wait till they see what we've got.

Oh, look! He's got digital watches.

A WATCH BEEPS

Give it some hurry up, will you?

You can have one as well! The coats is what we came for, nowt else.

Get in, get the coats, gone.

All right. So let's get fucking gone!

METAL CLATTERS

Bobby, I've just heard something in the yard.

HE PANTS

Oi!

Move!

Fucking hell, man! Fucking open it!

Fucking stop and fucking open it!

He's coming!

Bastard.

ENGINE STRUGGLES TO START

ENGINE STARTS Yes! Come on!

ENGINE DIES

Come on. Get the fucker going!

Bastards!

ENGINE STARTS

Bastards!

# Hips swingin' out of bounds

# And I like the way you do what you're doin' to me

# All right!

# Well that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right

# I really love your tiger light... #

CAR HORN BEEPS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Joe! It's gone half past!

CAR HORN BEEPS

Joe! Are you coming or what?

'Look at the state the country's in.

'The IRA are bombing their way around the country,

'we've had the miners' strikes...'

ENGINE STARTS

'..The people of this country deserve leadership.

'Two general elections in the same year...'

What's this? Your job or a bloody hobby?

Another grand weekend by the look of things.

You wouldn't believe it.

I'll tell you, whatever they're serving in that Purple Onion,

it's not doing you any good.

CAR HORN BEEPS

Joe.

SHE TURNS MUSIC ON

# He doesn't love you the way I do... #

Monica. Brendan. How are you today? A bit tired, you know.

You work too hard, you should rest more in your condition.

Chance would be a fine thing.

Wait till I show you, Tom Jones, new Vegas look.

Oh, he's sexy.

D'you know in Vegas, the women are throwing their panties at him?

Well, he could have mine any time, all he needs do is ask.

SHE GIGGLES

# I saw the face, the face of a loser

# I saw the face, the face of... #

SHE TURNS MUSIC OFF

Now, Paddy, blown up anywhere nice lately?

Now, Bobby, you know I'm not into that sort of thing.

Nah, that'd be some other Irish bastard, I suppose.

THEY CHUCKLE

Do you know owt about sheepskin coats?

Sheepskin coats?

You know, like what sheep wear, except better tailored.

Cos some thieving turd's been in my lock-up

and been off with a whole fucking rail of them.

Me? You're thinking me?

I know you, bog trotter. I know you. Always after what's not your own.

If I ever find out who did do it...

HE CHOPS HEAVILY

Two tins of undercoat, a dozen bog rolls...

Spuds.

Spuds.

Holy Mother Divine Jesus.

Now, there's a thing of beauty. 12.00, Joe.

She's out of my league.

Not at all. Don't be daft, she's gorgeous.

That's your problem, isn't it?

Why wouldn't you be good enough for the likes of her?

It's all about having a bit of self-belief.

A fine looking fella like you. If you don't ask, you get nothing.

Joe!

Is this it?

Kim Weston, she's a soul singer.

Does that look like a soul album?

Ah, there it is. Kim Weston.

DOOR OPENS

Hey, Joe.

Do you know about her, Dee Dee?

She turned up about a month ago on a rainbow, from the land of love.

Orders imports from the States

like Dean Parish, Dobie Grey, Yvonne Baker.

When she orders, she give a name?

Let's have a look. Right.

Jane Rogers.

Trimmer's. What's Trimmer's?

A hairdresser's in town.

You wouldn't know it.

Need an appointment?

I'll see if I can fit you in(!)

"Double Cookin'" by Checkerboard Squares

Pretty good, that. SHE LAUGHS POLITELY

Not the Four Tops, is it?

Right. It's not.

So, what's the Twisted Wheel? SHE LAUGHS

You'll be cracking on you know nowt about Wigan next!

A club.

The Wheel was a soul club in Manchester.

They shut it. Said people were having too much fun. In Wigan?

It opened last year. 2-8.

No divvies allowed.

Might see you there, then.

Stranger things happen. Groovy.

MUSIC STOPS

It'll take a day or so to settle.

Got no change. Sorry.

CHILDREN GROAN Blimmin' 'eck!

I like it, right? RUSS SNORTS

ICE CREAM VAN TUNE PLAYS

Wigan? I'd rather set meself on fire, mate.

"Great sounds, all night dancing."

The only dance I know is the dime fly.

Fly's not a dance. You made it up.

Every dance is made up by someone!

Anyway, Saturday nights, we're at The Onion.

And I'm pig sick of it!

This place, it'll blow your mind! Look.

"If you're into soul, Wigan Casino will blow."

But I'm not into soul.

Not yet.

"The Snake" by Al Wilson

# On her way to work one morning

# Down the path alongside the lake... #

CAR HORN BEEPS

# A tender-hearted woman saw a poor half-frozen snake

# His pretty coloured skin had been all frosted with the dew

# "Oh, well!" she cried, "I'll take you in..." #

Oh, yeah. Did I mention the chicks?

# "Take me in, oh, tender woman

# Take me in... # VAN BACKFIRES

MUSIC STOPS Oh, fucking 'ell, man!

Who are all this lot? CROWD CHATTERS

"A Lot of Love" by Homer Banks

All right?

Been to a wedding?

No, erm...

..remember me? I come in to the salon.

I thought...

My name's Joe.

You trying to make some kind of point with that or what?

It's the best haircut I've ever had.

Who's that?

Ah, just some bird.

It was her that turned me on to this.

Just some bird?

I could drink her bathwater, me.

Still make The Onion.

Joe McCain, right? And Russ...

Mountjoy. Mountjoy!

Monster.