Old Cow Vs Tender Grass

Hello, we are a pair.

Who are you?

I'm the cousin of the groom, like you, flower boy.

You're so old. I don't want! I don't want!

Me! Me! Over here!

It's mine! It's mine!

I got it! It's so pretty!

As usual, I am still as unlucky.

Don't lose heart.

If you persist,

one day your wish will come true.

What is my wish?

Don't worry.

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes and feel.

Uh huh...

Match Link, how may I help you?

Hi, may I help you?

Yes. I'm looking for women.

What?

Woman.

No! I mean partner.

Okay, no problem.

Please fill in this form.

Okay.

It's all in English, do you have it in Chinese?

It's ok, I'll help.

Thank you.

How old are you?

49 years and 9 months.

Isn't that 50?

Not yet!

What's your height?

175cm.

Please stand up.

Sure.

I'm only 165cm tall, and you are 175cm?

It's just my estimate.

Mr Moo,

we're a registered matchmaking agency.

Please declare all particulars truthfully.

I hope you will cooperate with us.

Sorry.

There's a big difference between 157 and 175!

Not much difference.

Just a different permutation.

Which line are you in?

Transportation.

Businessman. Aren't you very busy then?

Of course!

It's my own business after all.

What do you look for in a partner?

She doesn't have to be very pretty,

perhaps someone like Lin Chiling will do.

You're really humorous, Mr Moo.

I have some albums here

with photos of our members.

If you become our member.

I can arrange a matchmaking session immediately,

Fann Wong?

Is she divorced?

No, it's just that our members look like celebrities.

They are of high standards.

The album you're looking at is 20 to 25 years old,

the monthly membership fee is $1000.

$1000! That's very expensive!

Membership fee is charged according to age brackets.

If you're looking for someone aged between 26 to 30,

it's $500

It's $400 for 31 to 40 years old.

I think someone 41 to 50 would be suitable for you,

and it's affordable, only $200.

Do you have something cheaper?

We do.

Do you?

It's free for the category above 60 years old.

No wonder it's free.

They're "mouldy".

Damn! It's the parking attendant.

5 minutes to 11, luckily I've placed the coupon.

So rich yet saving on a dollar? He deserves it.

Wait!

Are you on call?

No, why?

All get in the taxi!

Wait! Five passengers are not allowed.

I'll be fined by the traffic police.

Don't worry, you won't.

If the officer's here, I'll ask one of them to hide.

Cannot.

Why not? All of them are skinny.

Government says cannot means cannot.

Unless one of them can't walk and needs to be carried.

Those who can walk are not allowed.

Understand?

Will this do? Hand carry.

You said so.

Thank you, keep the change.

Hey Friend!

Hey Friend!

$20 is not enough.

It's only $19.30 on the meter.

No, CBD area is $3 more.

You taxi drivers are all the same,

trying to rip me off.

This is not my first time in Singapore.

Hey!

$3!

Hey! $3, please.

What? It's you again?

I thought I got rid of u.

What do you want?

I want my money back.

What money?

I paid you by the meter.

Do you want me to call the police?

Call the police! Who's afraid!

He boarded my taxi in the CBD,

without paying the CBD charge.

This guy is trying to rip me off.

I've heard about the CID,

I've certainly not heard of the CBD.

No. In Singapore,

CBD stands for the Central Business District.

So if you take a taxi from CBD,

there's a $3 surcharge.

Really?

Yes!

From airport is worst! $5!

But it's only from 5pm to midnight.

It's $3 at other times.

Singapore Expo is $2.

Peak period is 35 percent

Excuse me, 50 percent more for midnight.

There's also the booking charge.

Not forgetting that

different colour taxis have different rates.

And must pay for the ERP also.

I give up.

I'm sorry. I've obviously made a mistake.

Please keep the change.

Keep the change?

No, no, no.

You keep the change.

I've worked for nothing again today.

Quick, let's see what colour her panties are today? Thanks!

How? Are we having porridge or rice today?

Eat grass lah!

I'm really unlucky these days.

Got a call, and thought it was a big fish.

Who knew it would be a Merlion?

It started once he boarded.

Vomiting all the way from the east to the west.

I couldn't chase him down the taxi,

and did not have the heart to demand for a higher fare.

I almost died.

Was he sick or drunk?

I'd have kicked him out if he was drunk.

Then you can't blame him.

He was sick and it wasn't intentional.

He should've called the ambulance if he's sick,

not a taxi!

Ambulances are expensive, taxis are cheaper.

You can't be more unlucky than I am!

I got fined because of $3.

I must say you're really unlucky!

Damn you!

Come on! Let's have coffee.

One cup of coffee!

Make it two!

Come, have a seat.

Two cups! Two cups!

Just in time. Let me tell you,

I picked up the girl with the dog today.

Really? You did?

I heard she is pretty, is it true?

To be honest, she's not bad.

You lucky guys.

Why is it not me?

I only picked up a Merlion.

You'll sprain your neck if you don't stop staring!

That would still be worth it.

Look at the lady on the left, she's pretty huh?

Yeah, not bad at all.

Young man, here we are, checking out women,

and there you are, just sighing away.

What happened?

Do you have to ask?

He's either had an accident, or received a wedding invitation.

Wrong! It's the LTA that has sent him an "invitation".

A parking ticket!

It's just a fine.

No demerit points, so don't worry!

No big deal.

Talk is cheap.

It is really tough making a living from what we do.

We slog day and night, with no annual leave and no CPF.

Can't even apply for sick leave, well, not until we're dead.

Seriously, I feel like quitting.

Robbery!