Adventure Time

Finn: Tickle, tickle, tickle! Jake: Wakey, wakey, wake!

Finn: Yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo

yoo!

Ahhh!

Wow. That was really something.

Really something. Sure, I'll hold.

Thank you for your time. Hello?

I'd like to take a few minutes of your time to tell you about

an amazing vitamin supplement. But first, just let me ask you,

do you ever feel that no matter what you eat, you're still tired

and sluggish and filled with nagging anxiety and doubt

and --

Root beer guy, get your head back in the game!

Hello, ma'am. I'd like to take a few minutes

of your time --

Hello? What we need is to cut out

the middle man. Hey, root beer guy.

Hey. Dude, we should start our own

place.

Next stop, lollipop park estates.

This is good.

What is this? Candy.

Hmm.

Oh, I've got a closing argument tomorrow,

root beer guy.

"I knew there was trouble.

I could smell it on the hot evening breeze.

Fortunately for me, trouble is my favorite thing because I'm

Joe milkshake. I kicked down the door with one

swift, decisive motion." No.

"With one swift and decisive motion, I kicked down the door."

No. "The door was kicked down by me

swiftly with not many motions but a whole lot of decisiveness

was used by me that was apparent to everybody."

Ugh.

Bubblegum: Aaaaaaaaaah! Hmm.

Bubblegum: What are you doing?!

Let me go! No!

Both: Yeah! Jake: [Imitates engine

sputtering, revving] Hey. Hey, are you awake?

Not really. Well, this is gonna sound

crazy, but I think I saw princess bubblegum get

kidnapped, and the perpetrators were that finn and Jake.

Okay, sweetie. That sounds like an interesting

dream.

But it did happen.

You need to eat something

before you go to work, and you can't keep falling asleep at

your typewriter. It's bad for your back.

Besides, I miss you at night. I'm sorry, sweetie.

I couldn't stop thinking about that weird stuff I saw last

night when I was peeking through the bushes.

Ugh! Peeking through the bushes?!

You've been warping your mind with all this mystery stuff.

I swear, sometimes I think you love that novel of yours more

than you love me. You've been working on it every

night for 10 years, and for what?!

Look at me, root beer guy! I'm a cherry cream soda, and I

have the same needs as any other cherry cream soda or even

diet cream soda! I didn't know

what to say, but Joe milkshake never was a talky guy.

On my way to work that morning, I decided to take a second look

at the crime scene. Hmm.

Lake butterscotch? Hmm.

Root beer guy! Root beer guy! Root beer guy!

How many bottles of product you sell this month?

Zero. Great! We can count to zero!

You know, maybe if you'd give me the new leads...

You haven't earned the new leads.

It's easy to do when you have

all the leads. Exactly.

Hey, root beer guy. It's all about the leads.

Finn: See? I told you! It's candy stucco.

Stucco feels great. Jake: Hmm.

When you're right, you're right. All right, you two.

What were you doing last night with princess bubblegum?

Finn: Uh... Jake: Hmm...

We were home last night. Jake: Yeah.

We were doing that...Thing. Jake: That was a great thing

we were doing at home with no other witnesses.

Finn: But we're each other's witnesses.

Both: Yeah! But I saw you.

Finn: Look, man, you didn't see nothin'.

Hmph!

Mr. banana guard, you've got to

arrest those guys! Come on!

These are the guys! They're kidnappers!

You have to arrest them and find out where they're hiding

princess bubblegum. Jake: Princess bubblegum?

She's right around the corner! Oh, princess bubblegum!

Yes? I think some

banana guards wish to speak with you.

Where are those banana guards?

Your highness! All: Greetings, your majesty!

Your skin is looking lovely today.

Jake: Oh, thanks! It's really, really orange!

Ugh! Jake: I've been using this

new, uh, marmalade spray-on tan. Yeah. Cinnamon bun...

Bingo-bango. This was my lucky break.

With one decisive motion, I kicked down the door.

Jake: So, uh, being tan is my thing now.

Quickly, I scanned the room for the --

oh, man.

"Caramel court," "cotton candy Crescent."

"Lollipop park estates" -- bingo-bang--

aha! Huh?

Bingo-bango.

Bonsoir, monsieur.

Would you like me to turn down the bed?

Uh, look what I've got. The security tape will show that

finn and Jake kidnapped princess bubblegum.

Finn and Jake would never do that!

Oh, yeah? Prepare to have your mind blown,

after I put this tape in the vcr, just to make sure I got the

right one. I'm pretty sure I did!

Hey, yes! This is it!

Bubblegum: Aaaaaaaaaah! Bingo-bango!

I've got to get to the -- are you in the tub, sweetie?

I'm going out! I've got to get this tape to the

banana guards or the newspaper or maybe the d.A. Or something.

Jake: Hey, root beer guy.

You were not supposed to view this tape.

But -- but how did you guys know?

I told them. That's right.

I did it for us! Oh, this thing is eating you

alive, root beer guy! But it's all I've got.

Jake: Hey, this looks kind of

personal.

Hmph.

Mr. pudding -- well, you can just call me

"buck." Uh, buck, those --

no need to be formal here, son.

Those guys who were just in here -- can you tell me what

they bought? Well, let's see -- a shovel,

a saw, some plastic bags, some duct tape, a bludgeon, a mop,

rubber gloves. Say, Mr. -- buck, do you know

anything about this lake butterscotch?

Right nice spot, lake butterscotch -- Miles from

where anyone could hear a person scream, if a person were

screaming for some reason. Creepy now that I think about

it. Nothing up there these days but

some abandoned cabins. Nice place to hide a body if you

were into that sort of thing. Son, now, what are you doing in

my pickup truck?

Yeah?

Don't hang up! I'm root beer guy.

I'm the guy who kidnapped princess bubblegum.

Yeah, yeah. I wrapped her in a carpet --

yeah -- and I'm gonna dump her in lake butterscotch!

I'm completely insane!

But you still have time to stop me.

Get up to lake butterscotch right now, banana guard.

And I took a boat out after

8:00. Emergency!

Quickly, to lake butterscotch! All: Wee-ooo! Wee--

All: Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!

Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Ugh!

All: Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!

Use the licorice lace lasso!

Whoa! Oh, my word! Get those guys!

They're my accomplices! Oh. Okay.

I got it!

Busted, you boat crimer.

It's... Finn and Jake?!

Finn: Well, guys... It looks like you caught us.

Okay, princess. You can come out now.

Bubblegum: [Breathing loudly]

Princess! Bubblegum: Mm-dah!

Oh, yeah. It is the princess.

Bubblegum: Congratulations!

Whee! Whee! You were so good at solving the

case. Um, what case?

Bubblegum: The fake kidnapping.

To test the candy kingdom's security system?

We didn't solve that case. Bubblegum: But if you weren't

following the clues I left, who was?

Um...It's root beer guy. Bubblegum: Then why the

jumping Jay is he in handcuffs?! Uh, he went boating.

That was a great night, baby. We haven't danced like that

in years. I'm so proud of you,

Mr. captain of the banana guards.

Bubblegum: Cinnamon bun!

What the heck are you doing out in the woods?

I asked you 20 minutes ago to take these drinks around for us.

Oh. Oh! "Around for us"!

I thought you said "walk to the zoo and back."

Bubblegum: Gah!

Bubblegum: Finn, cinnamon bun's gonna tend the

juice bar now. I have a special job for you.

As ooo's greatest champion, I'm relying on you to keep

lumpy space princess from crashing this wedding.

I went ahead and deputized you, so, you know, no holds barred.