Alpha House

And we're very happy to welcome back our old friend

Jane pauley for another segment in her series "life reimagined."

And, Jane, it sounds like your guest this time has had

a lot of time to reimagine his life.

Nothing but time, Matt.

Currently serving a five-to seven-year prison term,

senator Vernon smits is a man at a crossroads.

I caught up with him recently at the federal correctional

institution in cumberland, Maryland.

The two-term senator's life has been turned upside down

by his conviction, although he's lost none

of his mischievous charm.

Senator smits, so much has changed since we last sat down.

You'd just been re-elected, and now,

you find yourself incarcerated.

We all live in prisons, Jane. Come on, huh?

Sure, some have orange clothes and bad food,

but there are others that are hellholes of the mind,

inescapable pits of self-loathing and fear.

I used to live in one of those pits.

So prison has freed your mind?

My soul, really.

It's freed me to re-envision my life of service,

so now instead of serving 700,000...

Mostly white people, I now serve

the source of all creation.

- God? - Good guess.

- And yet... - And yet.

You'll always live with what you did that day

at the amusement park, won't you?

Aw...

Jane, what happened to you, hmm?

So, apparently Leland saw some pretty serious action

over in the sandbox.

Something that I know a little bit about.

Oh, please, daddy, don't remind me.

Oh, fair enough, sweetheart.

I put the family through a lot.

Oh, this says that colonel grimmel dragged nine men

to safety... under heavy fire.

Just doing his job.

I suspect he didn't even report it.

I wouldn't have.

Oh.

Can I...

Pretty impressive gathering.

Medal of honor's a pretty big deal, man.

So how do you get one of these bad boys anyway?

You've got to distinguish yourself conspicuously

by gallantry and intrepidity at risk of life.

Well, there must be a way to game it.

Who nominates?

It comes up through the chain of command,

but sometimes the skids needs a little greasing.

It was my great honor to help out a former player.

So he owes you double, and now you've got a war hero

campaigning for you in the general.

Well, we hadn't discussed that,

but... I can't stop him if that's what he wants to do.

It's a free country, thanks to heroes like him.

I got to start giving you more credit, Gil.

You're always thinking two moves ahead.

His idea of a good time isn't a big ceremony like this one.

He'd rather be somewhere up in the mountains,

or on a trail surrounded by cedar trees instead of cameras.

But I think our nation needs this ceremony today.

That's my boy.

Any word on the pardon for vern?

He's not doing too well in the can.

It's just not a good fit.

You know, I'm not in the loop on the pardon stuff,

but realistically, I see no chance for him.

Why is that?

Well, two words: Amusement park.

Who Jacks food from the white house?

You didn't do this when you were an aide?

Load up at receptions?

Yeah, cheese cubes and crackers,

but you're boosting high-end shit.

I need carbs.

This is my only real meal of the day.

- Flash hug! - Oh.

I never get to see him anymore, senator.

You are working him too hard.

Worse than you think.

See you back at the house.

Leland, god damn it, son.

What a proud day for you, and for the whole state,

and for me.

Look at you, medal of honor

hanging proud from our tar heel colors.

Yeah, it does kind of feel like home, huh?

Hey, listen, coach, I was wondering if we could get

together today, you know, away from all the crowd.

Hell yeah, son, we got a lot of catching up to do.

You come by the office later this afternoon.

I'll have Tammy clear my schedule.

And get us some cigars, good ones.

Got you covered, big guy.

Habanos, I'll send some over.

Colonel, Andy guzman, heard a lot about you.

- I wonder who from. - From your citation.

Went on a bit, but it was very impressive.

We should talk.

I'd love to get you down to Florida.

- Hmm. - Ahem.

Oh, excuse me...

Colonel, this is my fiancee, Adriana de portago.

- Ma'am. - Fiancee? Senator! Ma'am!

He proposed in puerto vallarta during recess.

He played the ukulele, and sang the most beautiful

little song. - I just rewrote the lyrics

to blurred lines, that was all.

Ah, well, congratulations, sir, and ma'am.

Thank you, and to you, and thank you for your service,

and your gallantry, and your intrepidity.

Those words don't get out enough.

Andy!

Excuse me, colonel, we'll talk, okay?

Ooh, look at that. It's so big.

Kudos on the straw poll,

you freaking rookie. - Oh.

Who died and made you front-runner?

Christie.

Seriously, those things are meaningless, Lamar.

I probably should've pulled myself out.

Truth is, I'm still exploring.

I don't envy you.

Glad my senator doesn't see a president in the mirror.

He sees yves St. Laurent.

Mm. - What?

Not here.

I thought we'd agreed to stop hiding.

Not hiding is different than mauling me in the east room.

Excuse me? Your partner is lightly touching your shoulder.

Deal.

- Look! - What is it?

Um, the south lawn. Look how lush it is.

Who knew the democrats gave a whit about lawn care?

Well, they have to, daddy.

It's the people's lawn.

Oh, Christ.

- What? - Got to go.

Both phones.

Look at this guy, here. World can't get enough of him.

You need to get back to the office right away.

Yeah. Excuse me.

Let's go.

- What's going on? - Nothing.

- Not nothing, politico just... - Politico just posted.

Some story about the TV light falling

during my rebuttal speech. They're saying it was staged.

So bizarre. Who stages nearly getting killed

just to look unflappable? - More to the point,

who makes up a story like that? - That is more to the point.

Who is capable of this? Rand Paul?

I wouldn't have thought so.

Rand Paul, of course!

Whoever it is, it can't go unanswered.

I'll put out a blanket denial. - Uh, blanket?

You think we should go full blanket?

Let's call in the team, explore our options,

war-room it. - Yeah, this could blow up.

You better war-room it.

You guys know we don't actually have a war room, right?

It's got to be rand Paul.

What do you smell?

Could it be chateaubriand

from the chef at the white house?

Yes, it could. Yes, it could.

Your wife, senator.

What is it, Maddie?

Gil, have you heard what Charlotte's doing?

Oh, I have, ma'am.

I saw it this morning on tmz.

Christ, what now?

She's in one of those reality shows.

Real daughters of D.C.

A reality show?

How could you approve a reality show?

Approve? She's 26, Gil John.

But she lives in west Hollywood.

How could she be a D.C. daughter?

"All the girls are daughters

"of actual United States senators.

They bond over the resentment of their powerful parents."

- - Excuse me, senator.

Colonel grimmel here to see you.

Leland's there?

Please come in, sir.

I better get over to the house.

I'll see you there, senator.

Colonel.

Nice to see you again, Ms. Stackhouse.

Go, go!

- Hey, coach. - Leland, darling boy!

Mrs. Biggs.

We could not be prouder of you if you were our own child.

Actually, we could, considering what our

own child is doing. - Hush.