Rosewood

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Dr. Beaumont Rosewood Jr.

I want you to forget everything you know

or what you think you know.

What you're about to see rarely happens in public,

but I can assure you,

it will change all of your lives forever.

So I want you guys to put your hands together

for my little sister,

the sometimes chatty but always incomparable pippy rosewood.

What? Oh! You're supposed to be singing.

I'm good. I'm good.

She is good!

I already picked a song. Nope. You got to go.

I already picked it. Oh, Rosie, I'm gonna kill you.

Give it up for my sister, y'all. My sister. Someone is going to die tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

Someone is going to die.

did you think we were done talking?!

Let me tell you, that wasn't the last time

I saw your cap in a pair of ladies' fishnets.

Oh, hey, ira, did you tell them

about the McCall liquor store stakeout?

No, he did not. But I'm good.

All right, get this.

We're on a stakeout, me and this guy.

Middle of July -- hot as two rats commiserating in a sock.

A.C. In the car -- gabatz.

And ira here is a sweater.

I mean, I've seen this guy schvitz in a snowstorm.

Captain, you rang? Give me a second.

So after butters sucks down his sixth iced-coffee thing,

he's got to go.

But we're in the thick, so he's got to improvise.

Two hours later, I go take a sip of my coffee...

And he says, "this Joe tastes like asparagus."

The freaking cupholders so close together in the dark,

who could tell?

That'll bond ya.

Delightful. I'm not sure that's bonding.

I mean, a game of tennis, that's -- that's bonding.

So, captain, you, uh -- you called me in?

Yeah, Rosie, I want you to meet a legend.

The best homicide detective this house has ever known.

My old partner, my mentor, and a seriously crappy poker player,

Floyd butters.

Yeah, I got out of the murder game 12 years ago.

I'm a bounty hunter now.

Hours are still long enough to make your hair fall out,

but I work for myself, not the man.

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. butters.

Butters here had been tracking a thief -- marlan guzman.

Guy skips bail three times.

But as of last night, it's a whole different story.

Now he's connected to the murder of Tex bridgewater,

another bounty hunter, Floyd's biggest Nemesis.

Hey, hey, there's a bounty hunters code --

we are all brethren,

and now a brother is dead at the hands of a very dangerous man.

This guy -- best thief I've ever encountered.

He can get past any security system.

He just slips in and out, like every lady in my life.

Been tracking him for weeks. Near impossible -- near.

Which is why you're gonna be working closely with butters

on this to bring this guy in.

Cap, that's not totally necessary.

Look, I can just look over his notes.

Villa, this is your chance to glom from the master.

Butters here has square-danced twice

in towns you never even been to.

I'm not much of a square dancer.

But -- but I-I am.

Actually, I can really do my thing.

We got to hang out sometime.

But, cap, I'm still not sure why you called me in.

Because this is what bridgewater looked like when we found him.

Gators got to him.

I'm not gonna lie -- I got a thing about gators.

Something that happened to me as a kid.

Those creatures, they freak me out.

It's the leather skin, the prehistoric tail,

the way they look at me.

They're the devil.

I'm in. Send him to my lab.

And I'm sure you're working on

some sort of discount on this thing,

because, you know...

It's not a whole body.

Villa: No. No, no, no. This can't happen.

We got to work with that loco that hornstock thinks is Elvis?

Butters? He seems pretty affable.

He seems certifiable to me.

You don't know these old-school homicide guys.

You going on a cruise?

Motel termite thing. Long story.

I called around. Hotel sitch is tight.

Some crafts convention.

Okay, this is what's gonna happen.

You're gonna come stay at my place

just until you find a permanent spot.

You want to guess what I'm gonna say next?

"Absolutely, Rosie, I would love to."

Thanks for playing.

Feldheim, show him what he didn't win.

Have you been in my apartment? You have been to my --

look, don't get me bragging on my guest room, okay?

I got 1,500 thread count on my pima cotton sheets.

1,500? Pima.

1,500? Cotton.

1,500% no.

Wow.

So, what's with them?

Those two? That's a new thing.

Still feeling each other out.

How am I supposed to fit in with that?

I haven't worked with anyone since you.

Between us and these walls, I'm nervous.

Ira...

I need a win.

Then let's win this thing.

[ Salsa music plays, man speaking Spanish ]

Oh, my God, you scared me.

I almost lit my chichitas on fire!

Hi, ma.

Wow. Look at you, annalise rocio,

looking all tough with your gun and your placa.

You look like a cop.

I am a cop, ma.

I need a favor.

Can I leave some of my stuff here?

Maybe stay for a night, two tops?

Hotels are booked.

All your things?

Don't you have, like, a storage unit or something?

What the hell. It could be fun, right?

I tell you what.

Why don't we go dancing tonight?

No. I don't want to dance.

Yes! Let's go dancing!

Now, I know you know how to do this because I taught you.

I don't want to. Huh?

Vamos. Come on, let me see those hips move. Stop it. No.

My hips are fine just the way they are.

Come on. Mami, stop it.

What?

Come on. I'm an amazing wing-woman, baby.

Okay?

I know you're not there emotionally,

but, you know, it couldn't hurt you to have a friend or two.

Maybe 10. Stop it.

You can't act like a mom for even one second, can you?

I mean, I'm sure you've seen one on TV, in the movies.

But you can't even pretend.

Please.

Was I pretending when I put food on the table?

Was it pretend when I helped you with your homework?

Oh, was I pretending when I used to read

that book that you loved all the time, either?

"LA niña con --"

"LA chica con un zapato rojo."

Yeah, "the girl with the one red shoe."

Ese.

You read, but you always complained.

Because you were always interrupting me

every two seconds, asking me a question about the story.

Always in my ear. "Mami, qué?"

Because that's what kids do, ma! They ask questions.

No, mira. Aren't you hungry?

I got to -- I got to go. I'm -- I have a case.

Come on.

No, I'm not hungry.

Okay.

My daughter, so importante.

I'm proud of you, mija.

Thanks for the...

I'm not gonna lie.

This one's -- this one's gonna be tough for me.

Rosewood: Well, the less we have to go on,

the more we have to make of what's there.

Someone grab me the m.E. Notes, please?

Oh, I got it. I got it.

Pip, I have to say

that you sounded absolutely amazing last night.

Aw, shucks, bro. Thank you.

It's pretty big of you,

considering I threatened to kill you.

Guess mom was right,

forcing you on that train to audition for Juilliard.

Who, you? You auditioned for Juilliard?