South Park

Oof, I feel silly. They're not gonna let us in!

Will you just come on. you gotta loosen up, Mr. Adler.

But this is the most popular place in town right now!

We can get in!

Just comb your hair, you know, look your best.

I can get us in.

Come on, man. We've been waiting for hours!

You guys have plenty of vaccinations in there,

just let us in, man.

55 and older and first responders only.

On, uh, hey, uh, we'd like to get in there

and get some vaccinations, mkay.

Are you on the list?

Well, no, I'm not on the list.

I tried to get on the list.

I sat on my computer 30 nights in a row

trying to make a vaccination appointment

and get on the God damn list.

Look the thing is we are school faculty, mkay.

You gotta let us in!

No, no, you have to let in people

with health issues first!

I am a chain smoker and my wife is 39 pounds overweight!

I have a compromised immune system!

I have genital warts, and I will show them to you!

Over 55, first responders -and Group 2 -B only!

Now beat it!

Hey, hey, man, I'm a friend of Dan Roberts --

he's a dental assistant in conifer...

Get the outta here. I said you're not gettin' in!

You're wastin your time!

Oh, hello, ma'am. Right this way.

Crowd: Awww!

79, bitch-esssss!

-Booooo! -You suck!

You suck you stupid old people!

Stan, Kyle, can you come over here real quick?

Recess is almost over, dude.

Just come here please, it's important.

Hey, Kenny, I got the guys, okay?

You wanna talk or you want me to talk?

You can talk.

You guys, Kenny and I are feeling like,

even though things are supposedly getting better

with the pandemic, we're more depressed than ever.

The four of us just seem really different towards each other

and we're worried the past year has put

a strain on our broship.

Kenny was saying he wants to do everything he can

to save the broship, and I agree with him.

So we had a really positive talk about it during lunch,

and Kenny shared some ideas of how maybe

we can navigate through this, and I think

we came up with a great idea.

Okay, so, you know how chicks have periods right?

-What? -It's true!

Women have 'periods' where they bleed from their vagina.

Remember earlier today, Stan,

you said our teacher was wearing white?

So when we talked I said to Kenny,

Oh, what if teacher got her period?,"

which cheered us up a bit and then we realized

today was hamburger day for lunch.

There was lots of ketchup laying around.

So me and Kenny snuck into the classroom during recess

and put it on the teacher's chair,

and now when we get back to class there's gonna be

a bunch of ketchup on the teacher's chair and when

she stands up it's gonna totally look like she got her period!

It's going to be amazing, you guys. I'm so excited!

Okay, class. Hope everyone had a good lunch.

Okay, how did everyone do on their fractions?

Are there any questions.

I know the last few were a little tricky.

Nnnnnnnnnnnn nmrmrrrmrmrmmrrrr...

Shhh! Kyle, Kyle! Shhhh!

Mrs. Nelson, I couldn't figure out number 14.

Number 14. Okay. Well, let's look at it together.

Kids: Ewwwwww!

What?

What? What is -- what is this?

Oh, my God. Teacher had her period!

Gross!

Kids, something must be wrong with me.

Is this a prank?

That's nasty, teacher.

Don't have your period during class time!

You think this is funny?

I come here, and I risk my life to teach you?

And I can't even get a vaccination because

teachers aren't important enough?!

And I get on the websites and can't even get a straight answer

on when I'll get vaccinated?!

Well, I'm over it!

I can't do this anymore!

You guys, I think that might have been the single most

hilarious thing we've ever done.

Which one should we post, you guys?

Should we post the one where you can see the most blood

on teacher's ass or the one where she makes

the dumbest face?

You're not posting anything!

Do you have any idea what you've done?

What do you mean, dude?

Yeah, we finally get back to school and have some sense

of normalcy and you guys make the teacher walk out!

Hey, at least Kenny and I were doing something

to try and get that spark back!

You know 30 percent of broships

didn't make it through the pandemic?

What if they make us go back to remote learning?!

I don't want to go back to being quarantined at home

like some of the other kids still are!

Hey, fellas!

Anything fun happen at school today?!

Yeah, you missed it! It was the best thing ever!

We put ketchup in the teacher's seat

and made her think it was her period!

Oh, my gosh! That sounds like so much fun!

Yeah, pretty much greatest day of our lives.

Do you guys know how hard it's going to be

for them to find us a replacement teacher?

It's not gonna be hard.

They'll bring in some lame ass teacher

who's desperate to work.

How bad can it be?

Oh...

I'm back!

Hey, South Park! I'm home!

Holy shit, is that who I think it is?

Any luggage from below, sir?

Oh, yes, I've got a lot of baggage!

Hey! Hey, Valmer!

How're ya doing?!

Tucker! Lookin' good!

Oh, it's so great to see everybody!

Hey! you!

Hey, hey, lookin' good, Thompson!

Did your wife get that AIDS test?!

You know, the simple truth is, teaching is my life.

I'm just completely at home in the classroom.

I realize that now more than ever after my little sabbatical.

Yes... Your, sabbatical was somewhat controversial.

Well, I just went through a little thing.

You know, I... I realized I was gay.

And then I realized I wasn't gay, I was a woman.

And after I transitioned, I thought it was

a little mistake and then I went through a phase

of being the President of the United States.

Well, that is the problem, Mr. Garrison,

as someone who previously identified as President,

there could be safety issues.

Oh, that's not a problem.

Anyone who has been President is assigned

secret service for the rest of of their

lives to keep them protected.

Mr. Service!

This is my private security, Mr. Service.

Hello.

Uh, thank you for your application, Mr. Garrison.

We'll keep you in mind as a backup, but hopefully

the vaccination process is going to start opening up.

Come on, man, it's ridiculous that people can't get in.

Yeah, you know, in Israel they vaccinate everybody.

Israel's way cooler than this lame place!

So then go to Israel.

I tried... I couldn't get in.

Tom, I'm outside of the hottest place in town,

and what we'd like to do now is take you

for an exclusive look inside.

You're not getting in, pal.

I'm actually willing to go inside and get a shot

so that everyone can see just how safe it is.

I said get lost, your not getting in.

Get outta my face.

Please give me a shot.

Please, all I want is a shot.

Just that one shot that could change everything.

Everyone clear outta the way.

Clear the entrance. We have VIPs coming out.

-Whoo-hoo! -Yeah! -That was great!

Where to next, everybody?!

That was our second shot. Let's go out to the bars!

-Yeah! -Alright!

Old people suck!

Hah? Can't hear ya.

Got too many antibodies in my ears!

Hahaha! -Hahahah!

Hey there, Billy!

Still gotta wear that mask, huh?

We're all vaccinated now!

I'm gonna go out to the bars and get some pussy!

Old men: Yeahhhh!

Okay, grandpa.

Sayyy... When are they gonna vaccinate you kids?

Oh, yeah! You're last!

Have fun social distancing, loser!

Hey, broships. You ready for some substitute teacher action?