Operation Corned Beef (L'Opération Corned Beef)

This coke's bad.

Hey, gringo, it's the best.

I want this.

Clever guy, gringo.

Mr Zargas!

This man is The Shark.

A French spy.

The lover of inspector...

Pilar Citron. Grab him!

We're rumbled!

You wanted to see the sights...

I just noticed your perfume.

It's funny, normally...

I'm allergic to it.

Perfume gives me terrible sneezing fits.

Watch the nun!

Sorry!

See, it's because of your perfume.

Oh, an earring!

You drive like a man!

Don't you like football?

No harm done...

You know, I'm not very good at this...

but this is too much.

Bad dream?

It's a call from Paris.

Trouble.

Georges here. There's a problem, captain.

The mike in the interpreter's ring...

was a good idea but something cropped up.

Mrs Granianski just asked for 3 days off...

for her anniversary.

We're going to lose the mike!

Listen. The consul's speaking.

Mrs Granianski...

only you speak Spanish here...

and Zargas doesn't know any German.

There's no time to find somebody else.

I'm sorry, Mr Burger, it's most unfortunate...

but my husband wouldn't accept my absence.

It's our crystal wedding.

I love my job...

but my married life comes first.

What do we do?

Married life, huh?

We're going to ruin her married life.

Find me a stunner of an agent.

Send her to seduce and bed the husband.

Take some photos for the wife.

They won't be celebrating anything after that!

How? All our agents are ugly cows.

Just do it.

There's that bastard Zargas again.

I dreamed he killed me.

Find a stunner and break into the consulate too...

to bug the consul's desk.

Break into a consulate...

That's an order.

See you, Georges.

You ordered him to break into the consulate?

You've one hell of a nerve!

Where do I find a pretty agent?

There is one but it could cause trouble.

- Who? - His fiancee, Lt Foureau.

She's his wife!

I'll ask General Masse.

It's a bit much though.

Leaving?

Yes, I'll miss you, Colombo.

Me too, Frenchie.

OPERATION CORNED BEEF

Be careful, Georges.

Loose the dogs.

- We're going to the Elysée, sir. - The Elysée?

Captain Boulier, DST?

Follow us, please. General Moulin wants to see you.

Hi, Shark.

Hear about Georges?

They want to make his death look like a car accident.

Georges is dead?

Ears eaten by a dog...

cigarette burns on his butt...

And they call it a car smash!

Do you DGSE people think...

you can work on French territory...

without us at the DST?

I don't get any of this, sir.

I respect the law.

The DGSE works abroad and the DST in France.

I'm not working here, I'm on vacation.

Have a nice day, sir.

I'll be watching you!

Sorry about Georges!

Drive!

Shocking news about Georges.

I should never have given the go-ahead on this.

You couldn't let those DST nerds handle it!

You told me it would be over in next to no time.

You know full well that we can't act on French soil.

This way, gentlemen.

Sit down, gentlemen.

- Coffee? - No, thank you.

Negative.

How does the DGSE dare spy on a consulate in France...

one of our allies?

It's for the DST and General Moulin to deal with.

The Defence Minister here wasn't even informed.

We were preparing a detailed file for the President...

but we needed evidence.

Especially as influential officials are concerned...

Do you mean there's a traitor in my entourage?

No doubt, probably...

Well... it's possible.

Be more precise.

Suppositions won't do.

Obviously.

Our best agent, Captain Boulier found out...

around 6 months ago in Bogota...

thanks to the Hotel Meridien cook...

that former Argentinian colonel, Augusto Zargas...

the infamous gunrunner...

is offering, in his summer catalogue...

an arm which is none other than the latest French missile.

An arm which hasn't even left our Clermont factory yet.

- Not the XR 35 B 370 Z6 AA 200? - Affirmative.

The captain also found out...

that Zargas had already sold the missile to Libya...

promising immediate delivery...

even though it's not ready...

for the very simple reason that he doesn't have the plans.

In other words, pardon my French, Mr President...

he's up shit creek.

He aims to get the plans in the next few days...

thanks to a high-placed French mole...

who's supposed to deliver them through Consul Horst Burger...

whom you know.

At H.Q. we've a nickname for him. We call him Beef.

So, were staking out the consulate.

By watching Burger, we hope to discover the traitor.

Satisfied?

And that gives you the right to send an agent...

Georges Favart to break in. It's intolerable!

And he got caught!

Who knows why he did it.

In any case, I never gave him that order... Did I?

It's a bummer, a real bummer, one hell of a bummer...

Oh, please...

Vulgarity won't help.

That's right. Sorry.

You like dogs?

I love them.

If he dribbles, hit him.

No, it's okay.

We've managed to bug...

the interpreter's ring without her knowing it.

She's French, a certain Mrs Granianski.

Thanks to that...

Thanks to that, we know what's going on in there.

We're so close that we thought...

we should finish on our own...

rather than risk everything...

by handing it over to... to the DST.

The DST is like a sieve.

They can't keep anything secret.

Look, Shark...

as they call you...

It's his nickname, Mr President, the Shark...

- I'm not stupid. - Well, despite your fine record...

I think you're having problems with your mike.

It's all been worked out.

Thanks to the Shark's brainwave...

we planted a mistress in the bed of the mike's husband...

and everything's back to normal. Right?

Affirmative. We sank the marriage with a direct hit.

They've parted and the mike's back at work.

A family's life has been shattered.

It's for France.

Didn't the agent concerned find it...

hard to do this?

It was for France, sir.

She's a good girl.

Do you have her address to thank her?

I'm joking.

Excuse me, sir. Mr Froment, the secretary, wants to see you.

Excuse me, sir. I was wondering...

if Richelieu needs to go out. It's been...

3 hours. That's a long time.

Quite. I'm afraid Richelieu might be a little incontinent.

Poor old thing.

You don't need me, sir?

No, take him out.

I see this operation is called Corned Beef.

Why English?

Last time, Operation Sunken Boat was rumbled quickly.

This time, we need a more refined name.

As I told you, at H.Q., we call Consul Burger...

Beef, because of Beefburger or Corned Beef.

So I thought why not Beef Burger or Corned Beef...

and I decided on Corned Beef because Beef Burger...

has Burger in it...