Witches Don't Exist (Heksen Bestaan Niet)

Where is it?

In here?

Where? Where is it?

Finally, I've got it.

"Oh, black comet. In the far corner of the universe, hurry towards the sun

and collide with a bang, so strong that the sun will be extinguished forever

and Earth will be robbed of its daylight."

-Concuela, what are you doing? -Too late. You're too late.

-The secret symbol of darkness. -The end of the world.

It can't be stopped now. The black comet is on its way to the sun.

-The sun will be extinguished. -What were you thinking?

Finally I'll be able to walk freely

without having to worry about that horrible sun.

The light is bad for my fragile skin.

I'm sick of your twaddle. Witches, at my command. Now.

Concuela, how could you do this?

In a dark world I, and I alone, will rule.

And the people will know witches exist.

You're not worthy of the amulet of the star witch.

-Pandora, find out where Grimbeck is. -Grimbeck? That vain creature?

-Grimbeck? -What?

-Code red. Get here immediately. -Understood. I'll be right there.

What took you so long?

-So long? I immediately-- -We've got a traitor in our midst.

Let me guess.

Concuela. I never trusted her.

She wants to cloak the world in darkness and become the most powerful witch.

Grimbeck, take her and wait for further instructions.

Will you come with me, Madam? Come on.

Get your hands off me, you worthless mannequin.

Take a good look around you. This is the last time you'll ever see the star arena.

You've always been a follower.

And you pathetic star witches will hear from me again.

Time to go, Concuela.

Astra, what's the situation?

It doesn't look good.

At this pace, the black comet will meet the sun in 72 hours.

We need to act quickly. Luna, have you got anything?

To stop the comet and save the world, the circle of five must be complete.

Only then our powers will be strong enough.

I'm afraid there's only one way.

The amulet needs to find a new, fifth star witch.

Let's send the amulet into the world.

-Her act really sucks. -I'm certain they'll choose you, Vera.

-Of course. I nearly forgot. -Katie doesn't stand a chance.

Merci, I've seen enough.

You were the last candidate. Thank you.

Quiet please. Mesdames et messieurs, I need silence.

In a moment I'll tell you who will play the lead in our magnificent show.

You won't get it.

You're all stars.

Some of you are small stars and a few of you are shooting stars.

But there will only be one true big star, and we all know who that is.

-Katie. -What?

Katie. Where are you? There you are. Come forward.

Well done. Bon. Enough with the blah blah. We've got work to do.

Come on. Let's go for it. Come, Coco. Voilà.

Oh my God. I didn't expect he'd pick me.

-Awesome. Congratulations. -I told you.

Look at her.

She's got the lead and immediately she's a real diva.

But you played the lead last year.

-So what? -You're her first understudy.

Being an understudy is worth nothing.

When you come in second, you've lost. It's as simple as that.

It makes me like… you guys.

Shh, she's coming.

-Hey, Katie. -Hey, Vera.

Loser.

-200 grams of sugar, John. -200 grams of sugar.

-200 grams. -No problem.

And bam.

-What are you doing? -You need sugar, right?

Not cubes. We've got sugar.

They aren't cubes anymore. It's sugar.

Look, 200 grams.

-Then 300 grams of flour. -300 grams of flour.

In the bowl, John.

-Okay, and then-- -Are you managing?

Sure, just testing.

Turn the mixer on…

Hot, hot, hot.

…after you put in the milk and eggs.

I knew this would happen. There's always something. It never--

Hey, Katie.

Katie, don't mind the mess. Your dad's been at it. So?

You won't believe it. I got the lead.

-Really? -Yes, that's my girl.

-High five. Well done. -But I still can't do that turn.

What if I mess it all up in the theater?

-No, it'll all be okay. -No…

You just need to practice and you'll get it down.

Just let me talk to my baby.

Dancing starts with the hips. You've got to feel it in the hips.

And then a bit of a moonwalk. And then you grab your mom.

-Don't think about it. It's that easy. -See? See?

You weren't exactly helping.

Thanks, Dad. Now I know how to not do it.

The floor was a bit slippery and your mom wasn't helping.

Normally… This dance move is my thing. I can do it with my eyes closed.

Are you baking a birthday cake?

-Us? -No, what are you talking about? No.

That's not what we're doing.

-Strawberry? -It's chocolate.

Tell me, Concuela. How do you like your new dwelling?

It's less fancy than you're used to,

but it's enough for now, and for the rest of your life.

Aren't you ever sick of being an errand boy for those star witches?

You shall spend the rest of your days here, in captivity.

Through the mirrors you can see what's happening outside,

but as you noticed, you won't be able to go through.

In other words, you won't ever be outside, Concuela.

As soon as the comet has done its job, I'm out of here.

And you're the first who'll feel my wrath.

Dream on. And I'd like to say:

"Enjoy your stay and I'll talk to you… never."

Tata.

What did I hear? Are you having a party tonight?

-Yes, it's my birthday. -And I'm not even invited?

We're not exactly the best of friends.

Too bad you say that. Of course I'd like to come. It's my pleasure.

Well, everyone can come, so…

Actually, I already have other plans. Nienke, Tessa?

Gross.

But where's Katie?

She probably forgot. I can take her place.

That's not what I want. Ah, Katie…

-You're not being a diva, are you? -No, someone put something in my--

No excuses. Next time you'll be on time. Take your place.

Vera, to the back. And you too.

Allez, let's start. One, two, three, four.

Right. But what exactly bothers you?

For example. Katie must have been three. She had to sneeze.

-We all have that. -Do all cups jump up when you sneeze?

Nothing to worry about. Sneezes can reach a speed of 200 km/h.

Cups can do pretty weird things at such a speed.

You don't understand. Remember that time when she had the hiccups?

Lights went on and off. The TV just went off, in the middle of my favorite show.

Lingo.

I missed half of the show. That's just not normal.

Technical devices will always have their quirks.

My computer always shuts off by itself. So frustrating.

Another example. I'm on the couch, reading my magazine.

-Katie is coloring. -Oh, yeah.

From the corner of my eye I see Katie reaching, but she doesn't grab the pencil.

No, it's rolling towards her. That's surely impossible.

Handy. I think I've got the picture.

Well, your daughter is perfectly healthy.

But if you still worry, I'll give you this address.

-An eye doctor? -For Katie?

No, for you two.

They've got a great promotion: buy one, get one for free.

-Have a nice day. And goodbye. -Yeah, you too, but--

Bye-bye. Have a nice day, Sir. Bye.

Bye.

-Sir, how can I help you? -Well… How shall I put this?

Will I be at the top of the charts again?

For 150 euros I'll tell your fortune, but you need to pay in advance.

Okay.

I see something…

I see yellow speedos?

Okay, you'll kiss a frog's butt cheek, and before you go to bed

you'll put a picture of DJ Jeroen Nieuwenhuize under your pillow.

I'll kiss the butt cheek of a frog? Will that help?

You will do that and it helps.

Well, let's see what we have here.

I'd stick to the bathroom, if I were you.

Well, it's getting more interesting.

Look at those two mutts on my couch. They know all too well they can't do that.

Felix, Rex, get off of my couch.

I need to get out of here. I want to get out of here.

Lookie here. My mini witches' book.

Oh my God, I saw such a cool show yesterday.

What?

I saw such a cool show from Beyoncé.

-I'm sorry. I can't hear you. -Does it have to be so loud?

Huh? What a coincidence.

-Who's coming tonight? -Just my family and stuff.

-Your crazy uncle too? -Uncle Rinus? Yes.

-Roy, come look. -What?

So pretty. But I don't have any money, so never mind.

Katie, wait.

I gotta go home first, to do some homework.

-But you'll come tonight, right? -Of course.

Okay. Bye.

The pendant is pure silver. Beautiful gem. Tourmaline, I think.

Ten euros.

Miss…

One moment. I'm busy here.

But I'd like to buy it. It's a present for my best friend.

Too bad for her. Now it's mine. Come on, Precious.

What could I help you with, young man?

I'll take this one then.

-Shall I wrap it for you? -No, no need. Here.

Come, Precious. Come.

We're going home and Mommy will give you a nice piece of liver sausage.

"To be able to move between closed doors and mirrors

you need the following ingredients.

Three cat hairs…"

Damned mirrors. Let's see. What else?