All Star Review S2E36: The Danny Thomas Show

It's the All Star Revue.

Presented by Pet Milk, Snow Crop, and Kellogg's.

Starring Jack Carson, Jimmy Durante,

Olsen and Johnson, Danny Thomas, Ed Wynn.

And now, in just one minute, we bring

your "The Danny Thomas Show".

Come and get it!

Come and get it!

Stop the confusion.

Stop the confusion.

Everybody wants to get into the act,

with Kellogg's variety pack.

Buster wants the Corn Flakes, pop wants the .

Mama loves the Reese's brand .

Sister loves her Krispies .

Kellogg's Shredded Wheat.

Kellogg's makes it fun to eat.

Breakfast with variety packs! OK, folks.

There's your favorite individual box of cereal.

Fresh, fresh from Kellogg's variety pack.

Untouched by human hands except their own.

That don't mean you gotta eat with them.

Each individual box comes to you F.O.D. -- fresh on delivery--

from Battle Creek right to your own dish. Yeah!

Everybody wants to get into the act,

with Kellogg's variety pack!

Yes, sir!

Kellogg's variety pack.

And here he is. The star of our show, Danny Thomas!

Hey!

Oh, yes!

Thank you! Cease, cease, cease!

Please, ladies and gentlemen,

you've been standing outside a long time waiting to get in.

You've worked hard enough. You don't have to applaud.

Just nod your heads. I'll understand. Don't worry about it.

I have no temperament whatever, believe me.

I'm very happy to be alive.

Besides our extra special guest stars

tonight, we have the services once again

of those two wonderful chaps that played "Fate and Destiny"

for you a couple of shows back.

That's Dave Berry and Bob Hopkins.

There's also Paul Dubov, Jimmy Ames,

and Philly Arnold, and .

I hope it's going to be a good show for you.

I'm quite excited about being back myself.

Honestly because I've been away a long time traveling around the country.

Just got back from New York. I love to travel.

Years ago when we just had a couple of bucks in the family,

I took a trip, and on this trip-- excuse me.

This is nothing, please. It will be over in a minute.

It's just when I think about the trip.

Isn't this dreadful?

Usually it doesn't last this long.

See I traveled from New York to Los Angeles by bus.

I don't know whether or not you've ever been on a bus,

but some time if you have a few years to kill,

take a trip from New York to Los Angeles by bus.

I walked like this for 92 days after the trip was over.

I had the feet over the rear wheel, you know?

Two weeks, I walked around doing this.

That's what you get from reading those Burma-Shave signs, you know?

Of course we got some relief from the situation.

That's when we made what is commonly referred to as a rest stop.

They have the audacity to call it a rest stop.

Every 50 miles, brother.

Tie it in a knot, you could be fast asleep!

Everybody out! Rest!

You could be dead they'll . And that's not all.

There was one woman who used to get tired between stops.

She didn't care where we were when she got tired, either.

We'd be over a bridge or in the Mohave Desert,

she'd holler, hold it, wait! I'm tired now!

She often came back, you know.

Oh, what times we had traveling by bus.

But you know the great advantage of it, kidding aside,

when motoring or traveling by bus across the country,

kind of easing along, you sure do get a chance

to drink in this great land of ours.

And for those of you who have just said to yourself,

doesn't that sound like a cue for a song?

May I say it does?

America!

I love you.

Your sweet .

From ocean to ocean, you're my devotion.

Touches each boundary line.

You're like a little baby, climbing its mother's knee!

America!

I love you, and there's a hundred million others like me!

Oh, but if you want a proper store,

just add 60 million more who are living and loving.

Who I love in the land of the free!

Hey! Yeah!

Thank you.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. You too at home.

Bless you for tuning in.

And I'm glad you tuned in and you're

gonna be too, because-- you see, a few years ago,

one of the top stars in the theatrical world

retired at the height of her dancing career.

Well, sir, she's back.

Back where she belongs in the upper echelon of show business,

and we are proud she has chosen our show

on which to make her television debut.

Surprise number one, ladies and gentleman, Miss Elanor Powell!

Hey!

Thank you, Danny.

That was a wonderful introduction.

-No more than you deserved, dear lady. Believe me.

-You know, it's really good to be back again. Especially on your show.

-Thank you, dear, and I'm especially happy, too, that you chose our show.

Now this is your first television appearance

and I don't want you to be doing two courses .

So, I mean, let's get the full Powell treatment.

What do you say? -All right.

Well, I'd like to do a number for you with a little bit of everything rolled into one.

I call it the Powell Goulash. -Ah, good.

-Do you mind? -Do I mind? Hm.

One second and this will be off.

You know, I always liked goulash.

-Oh-- I don't know about you, but honest to goodness, I am filled to the core.

I am so happy that she's back in show business again and where she belongs.

And speaking of people who belong in

show business, ladies and gentlemen,

my next star-- truly a great honor.

Honestly, adjectives are unnecessary,

and my beloved friend-- stage and screen-- Miss June Havoc!

Thank you dearly, Danny.

-Oh, sweetie, it's so nice to have you here.

Especially-- especially knowing you've just closed after a solid year run on Broadway

without any vacation at all, you flew right out here to be with us.

-I was looking forward to working with you, Danny, honestly.

Thank you. -Cross my heart.

Danny, there is one thing that rather confuses me. I know you'll understand.

-Yes. -I've studied this script and I've worked on it,

but honest to goodness-- you've got

to help me a little bit with the characterization for this sketch.

-Oh, Junie. Junie-- -I'm sorry.

-You were the inspiration for this sketch. -I was?

-It's your characterization in the motion picture,

"Possess", that gave us the idea.

-"Lady Possess"? -Yes, "Lady Possess ".

You are suffering from hallucinations.

In this sketch, too, you see, but in this case you're a movie fan.

You love the movies. You see all the pictures.

You subscribe to every movie magazine.

So much so that now everybody you talk to sounds like a movie star.

-Just a minute. Danny?

-Huh? -I'm in character.

-Ah. -Now I'll get into costume.

-Go, girl. Go.

Ladies and gentlemen-- and now the presentation of the sketch,

Mr. and Mrs. Christian.

The-- Thank you very much.

Oh, I thought you were applauding me.

-Mr. Thomas, this show is 12 minutes old and I haven't done a thing yet.

Do I or do I not work here?

-Certainly you work here, Bonnie. Why are you getting excited about?

There's just no place for you right now.

-Excuses, excuses. Always excuses.

Why did I ever leave ?

Oh, no.

Oh, no, you've been talking with those actors again, huh?

All right, I'll tell you what I'll do for you.

I was going to make the announcement on the sketch.

You do it for me, huh? Go ahead.

A fine job for a legitimate actress.

Oh, well. Ladies and gentlemen, we are privileged to present

a production which utilizes the virtuosities of such

as June Havoc and Danny Thomas.

magnitude.

The portrayal for merit your highest products.

Good morning, Gregory darling.

Good morning, my loves. Good morning, Bobby dear.

Good morning. Good morning, .

Good morning, -- Good morning, Homer.

You're late for breakfast. What happened?

-What happened? I got lost in these pajamas.

Whoever made you buy these silly things anyhow?

-Who says they're silly? The sales girl told me that these pajamas

are the exact same kind that Gary Cooper wears.

-Yeah, but you could have got him a Mickey Rooney size.

-Stop being so difficult. Sit down and have your breakfast.

Nah.

For a minute there, I thought you looked like Marlon Brando.

-Will you cut it out already with the movie stars?

One day it's . Next day it's Ben Johnson.

What about me, your husband, Homer Christian?

-Don't you dare mention your name in the same breath with theirs.

-Excuse me for living, but you remember marrying me, don't ya?

Well, of course I do, darling.

How could I ever forget our wedding day?

You mean-- you do remember?

Mm-hmm.

Of course I do, love bug.

That was the time we saw Robert Montgomery in "Night Must Fall".

-Yeah, and we saw Judy Holliday in "The Marrying Kind".

Then we saw "The Adventures of Tarzan".