Rollers

Sell it to me.

I'll take it in any condition, stains and all.

I'll even pick it up.

Turn your mattress into cash.

Call 1-800-M-A-T-R-E-S-S today.

Hi, I'm Dr. Giannis Kastodide,

but you can call me Dr. Greek.

At Hellenic Hypnosis, we've helped thousands of people

just like you get over addictions,

whether it's alcohol, tobacco, opiates, prescription drugs,

cocaine, cannabis, amphetamines, hallucinogens,

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At Hellenic Hypnosis we can help you.

Call today for a free consultation.

It's 1-800-Da-Greek.

That's 1-800-D-A-G-R-E-E-K.

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We can help you breathe in the healing love of the universe.

And now back to our show.

Daddy, what's that sound?

Don't worry, it's just Cramer J

- and Captain Dingus. -

And we are back. 96.5.

WECC.

Rocks!

We are back in the Grotto.

I'm Cramer J with my co-host Captain Dingus.

Welcome to the Grotto.

The towels are clean, but the water is dirty.

In the studio today we have Rufus Paisley

from the beloved rock club, Rollers,

and you guys are celebrating a big anniversary tomorrow.

How many years do you guys have now?

Uh, hard to believe it, but 100.

What kind of gift do you even get

for a hundred year anniversary?

How about a coffin?

Okay. All right.

You are a sick man in more ways than one line.

- -

That's a spicy meat ball.

Now, Rufus, tell us how do you keep a place

like Rollers open for 100 years?

Woo, um, that's a great question.

Such a great question, you don't even have an answer.

You know it's just, I don't...

I don't want to go on a uninvited rant.

No, please consider yourself invited.

Okay, I mean, it's just a, it's just an interesting time

to be running a club right now.

I mean, I feel like the old timer

still on the block, you know?

The disease has like really taken hold.

Yeah, you know, Rufus there is a new musical venue

and you don't need an agent, you don't need a record deal,

you don't need a manager, and you don't even need talent.

It's called the Internet.

Ah, says the dude on the radio.

Oh!

- Ouch! - Burn alert!

That hurt.

That, that hurt. I expected more from you.

And now your parents. Your dad, Winston.

We've had him on the show before.

He kept Rollers humming for damn near 40 years

and famously turned this obscure little jazz nightclub

into the staple of our local music scene.

He booked rock bands, orchestras, singer songwriters.

- Prince. - Prince who?

- Okay. - Yeah.

Captain Dingus still stupid. Go on.

I mean, eh, listen, seriously, he booked talent.

Good music and people with a great voice.

Ural Thomas, the one who's playing the anniversary,

my dad's one of the first people to get behind him.

So we're just gonna keep it goin'.

So Rufus, before coming back to Rollers,

you were in a spicy little band.

Mhm, The Duty of Man.

If I can just chime in here, I love that name.

And now your former band mate Tyler Bolton

has minted three platinum records

and a couple of Grammy's in under five years.

Do you ever regret leaving life on the road behind?

Uh...

Um...

- -

All right, all right, all right, all right.

I brought you guys together

because I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart

for being here.

I really can't believe it's already been five years

since we took over.

Since mom and dad died.

- Mom and dad died? -

Yes.

And truth be told, Maddie's the one who said

reviving Rollers would never work.

So because of that, because we did-

I hope you wrote this ahead of time.

- Yes. - I did, I, come on.

I did tell Rufus that this wouldn't work.

- No. - No.

To tell you the truth, it scares the shit out of me, but,

I love you all.

I love you, too.

And thanks for coming on this rock journey with us.

All right, get the words out.

So...

- She's hammered. - To 100 more great years.

And, and, to our mom and dad.

We wouldn't be here without 'em.

- Yeah. - Thank you.

Cheers.

Cheers, cheers, cheers.

- Let's go down there. - God, move it.

Come on.

- All right. -

Go forth you drunkard.

See you downstairs.

Let the Lord lead ya.

Rufus, it's Stan.

From the bank.

Now I'm not trying to throw him under the bus,

but your business manager, shit, uh, what's his name?

Donnie.

He told me that someone's making a real offer to buy Rollers

and I know he's not the sharpest crayon in the canister,

but listen to him this time, Rufus,

because Potter is grinding my balls into dust.

You could dissolve them in water.

So be a man.

Put your tail between your legs,

and take whatever they're offering.

Shit, take me to Tahiti or something.

God knows I need a vacation from this asshole.

I'm pullin' for you, kid. I'll see you on the other side.

WECC, this Cramer J

and co-host Captain Dingus coming to you

live from the Grotto.

Now this may be a prank, but our producer Jerry

just handed us two tickets for caller 69

to see The Wonkies at Rollers this weekend.

Ha, The Wonkies?

Their big hit, "That's My Pudding,"

is taking the world by storm.

Time's have changed.

Caller 69, here's your chance to snag free Wonkies tickets

to one of the three nights at Rollers.

Again, I saw vanity under the sun.

One person has no other, neither son nor brother.

And yet there is no end to all his toil,

so that he never asks for whom am I toiling

and depriving myself of pleasure?

This is also vanity and an unhappy business...

Hey man.

You okay?

The fool folds his hands and eats his own flesh.

- Hey! - Ah sh...

- Come on, man. - You listened to

- the link I sent you yet? - Huh?

- You good? - What'd you say?

Have you listened to that link yet?

Oh, no.

I'm putting it on my list, though.