Modern Family

Fix that step.

Morning.

I'm still sleeping.

Happy anniversary.

And they said we wouldn't last.

Who said that?

- Oh, look at you. You're cute. - Go ahead. Open it.

- What have you done? - Nothing.

Something, nothing.

- It's a View-Master. - Look inside.

Oh, it's us.

Look at how young we are.

Oh, God, that perm.

Yeah, it really framed my face.

Why is there a picture of a bracelet?

Must be some kind of a mistake. What the heck is that?

- Oh, Phil, you didn't. - What? Did he? Did he?

It's beautiful.

Oh, sweetie, I love it. Okay, your turn.

- My turn? Where is it? - It's on the bureau.

I'm surprised I didn't see it.

Where?

There, the red envelope.

- It's a... card. - That's where you're wrong.

I am so excited.

Coupons for...

Five... free... hugs.

- You don't like it? - Are you kidding me? I love it.

It's so creative. Coupons for hugs, which are usually free,

but this makes it official, which is so great.

I was so proud of myself when I thought of it

because you're impossible to buy for.

You never want anything.

Things I want... Robot dog, night-vision goggles,

bug vacuum, GPS watch,

speakers that look like rocks.

I love my wife, but she sucks at giving gifts.

I'm sorry for the pay-channel language, but...

Yogurt maker. I can't not think of things I want.

Subtitles by Lucas4u

- I Can't tell if she needs diaper change. - I think we'd be able to tell.

No, with these diapers, it's hard to tell. Triple leakage protection.

Leaklock... contours to protect her little body.

No gapping or chapping.

Cam, Do you think that maybe we need a...

Night out? Yes.

Just a few hours with a couple of adults,

a few drinks, no baby talk.

- It'll make us better parents. - Stop drilling. You've struck oil.

We'll get Gloria to babysit. We're going out.

- You got some spittle. - Do I?

You know who'd be fun to call? Sal.

Raise the roof, Lily.

We're calling Sal.

Sal is our very best friend in the whole wide world.

The reason we love her so much is she has absolutely no inhibitions.

And that's before she starts drinking. Hanging out with her

is like an Amsterdam Saturday night every day of the week.

And, ironically,

Sal's not allowed back into Amsterdam.

Anyday of the week.

Of course we would love to have the baby.

All the other cousins are sleeping over tonight.

The more, the merrier.

Okay, See you tonight. Bye-bye.

Is Haley still coming?

You're related.

I will spray you with the hose.

All the grandkids are coming over for "Jay's night." Family tradition.

Everybody wears PJ's, which they love.

I make my famous Sloppy Jays, which are really Sloppy Joes,

but made by Jay, which they love.

And then we all watch a western together, which they don't care for, but, hey,

it's "Jay's night."

So, Mom, there's a party tonight at Andrew Adler's,

and everybody's gonna be there.

OOh.. That sounds like so much fun, but I have other plans.

That's high-larious, but I'm talking about me.

That's unusual.

Honey, You said you'd go to your grandfather's night.

That's what's so perfect about this.

Andrew lives a like couple of blocks away from Grandpa, so I figured that I could go...

Sweetie, you made a commitment.

But I really want to go. And plus, every time I go over to Grandpa's,

Manny just stares at me the whole time.

Maybe if you wore a bra.

What? I can't wait to go to Grandpa's.

Family means everything to me.

Because you have no friends.

Because I love Grandpa, and he's getting older.

Who knows how many years he has left?

- Is Grandpa dying? - Didn't they tell you?

Alex, Stop torturing your brother.

No, your grandfather is fine.

For now.

Hmm. Who could that be?

You expecting someone special?

Thank you.

Flowers, too?

- I'm sorry. - Oh. what are you apologizing for?

- They're gorgeous. - Ahh. It's too much, you know.

With the View-Master and the bracelet and the flowers and the balloons.

- Balloons? - They're attached to your car.

I just don't want you to feel bad about your little... coupons.

Wait a minute. You thought the coupons were your only present?

- Are you kidding me? - They aren't?

Phil, come on. It's our anniversary.

Those coupons were just like a fun, little way to kick off the day.

Your real present is coming tonight, and you're gonna love it.

Love it!

Cool!

I got nothing.

I'm so screwed.

This place brings back so many memories.

Get in here!

Big bear!

And my baby cub!

- Oh, my God! You guys! - Look at you!

You notice anything different?

- Your hair's longer, right? - Did you get your teeth bleached?

Let me give you a little hint. Ba-boobs!

- Oh, my God! - Those are sensational!

I know. Right?

- You want to touch 'em? - I'm gay, not dead.

Are you okay with this?

Yeah, you're drinking a passion-fruit daiquiri.

- Get in there good. - I'm coming in!

So, Lily likes that...that singing?

Yes. It relaxes her.

So Lily's deaf.

There are my little stinkers!

- Howdy - Hi, grandpa. - Come on in.

- Well, hello, there, Haley. - Take it down a notch, Jethro.

So, you guys ready for some fun?

What?

I love you, Grandpa, and I'm never gonna forget you.

Okay. Okay. Back at you, champ.

Wo Wo Wo This is a pajama party. Where's your PJ's?

They're in my bag. I need to talk to you about something.

She wants to go to a party with Dylan, Grandpa.

Shut up, Alex!

It's at my friend Andrew Adler's. He lives three blocks from here.

Oh, walking distance.

Right. So I wouldn't ask you this, because I love

coming to your house, but it's kind of an important party and...

If somebody invites you over, the last thing you want to do is insult them.

- Exactly! - I'm glad we agree.

Oh, my God, that was so easy. This is awesome.

You really don't understand what just happened there, do you?

PJ's on, Haley!

Um What?

I would be happy to let her change in my room.

Um Who could that be?

Are you expecting someone special?

What did you do?

Nothing. I just know that there's someone at the door.

Rock on, Phil Dunphy.

Read it and weep, Phil!

It's the Iz!

Who?

Izzy Lafontaine from Spandau Ballet.

Izzy Fontaine from Pa...

He's got it now.

He's got it. He's just seriously freaking out.

Phil loves Spandau Ballet.

That song "True" was playing in the car the first time we kissed.

It's our song.

So I did some research, found out that the lead guitarist

lives like 40 miles from here.

He was in the phone book. How '80s is that?

I never liked Spandau Ballet.

Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet.

Am I even pronouncing that right?

Here to play a private concert for us

- is the guitarist... - Bass player, actually.

- ... and lead singer... - Backup. Backup.

... of Spandau Ballet.

Between Richard Miller and Martin Kemp.

Oh, those guys.

I miss you two guys so much.

So, so much.

- To us! - Yeah, to us!

To us, the three musketeers!

- Cabo! - What?

Seriously, you bastards, we've been talking about it forever.

We're doing it! We're going to Cabo! Let's do it! Let's do it!

- All right, let's go! - Yes. Yes that will be fun.

"Fun"? Are you joking?

Margaritas, you guys, these guys.

- It's gonna be epic! - We need to find someone for Lily.

How much are you gonna pay me to go make out with the waitress?

Alright Now Wait. Which one? The old one or the young one?

$10 for the young one, $20 for the old.

I am about to make 30 bucks.

- I'm just gonna go check on Lily. - Right now?

- It'll just take a second. - Well, I'm just...

You're gonna miss me sluttin' it up with Driving Miss Daisy.

- It'll just take a second. - Real fast.

You should kill that baby.

What?