Dave - Second Season

I've never been coddled, swaddled or fondled.

I've never been coddled, swaddled, or fondled...

Ay, bro, they said they ready for you.

Come on, it's his routine. Let him do it.

I take it back, what? I take it back. Okay. Okay.

Don't be nervous, Dave, everything's gonna be

exactly how it should be because that's what you do.

I'm Maria Manzano, Channel 9 News, back to Dave.

That part's a little icky, racially.

-Thank you, Maria. Thank you, Maria. -

Fuck it. Let's just go.

Hey, you know it ain't nothing to be nervous about, right?

This is big tycoon status shit right here, man.

He's not nervous. Stop saying that.

-How can he not be nervous? -He's not.

He's ready, he's anxious. He's excited.

Don't be nervous, David, okay?

Millions of people are about to be introduced to you

for the first time; this is exciting.

-You're making it worse. -Okay.

It's just like riding a bike, though.

It's muscle memory. At this point,

you've done this thousands of times, I mean, come on.

Nobody in my family is ever going to die.

It's a fact.

Nobody in my family is ever going to die.

It's a fact. Ha. No one's gonna die.

-I love you, Bubba. You're gonna be great. -Shut up.

[announcer speaks indistinctly over P.A.]

Korea...

Korean Music Awards. Let's go!

And we got BTS in the house.

There's no BTS.

Huh?

That...

: Keep going, please.

What the fuck just happened?

-Man, that shit was hard. -I don't think it was.

The feed didn't even show the whole thing.

-You're fine. -It wasn't on TV?

-No, you're good. -Oh, my God.

-What is this? -It's bulgogi, japchae...

-What time is it, Dan? -It's 8:00 p.m.

-No, it's not. -Uh, yes, it is.

No, it's not, we're on American time, album mode.

-No jet lag, Dan. -I thought that was a joke.

Dan, it's 4:00 a.m. my time right now

and you're judging me. That's a joke.

-Okay? -Don't trip, bro.

You can get us some more weed, intern?

This shit I gandered in ain't gonna last us, bro.

Uh, o-okay.

Dave, you want your backpack?

-I prefer you keep it on you. -Okay, yeah. Sure.

Please stop presenting me with the food.

-I'm trying to work on my body. -Oh, okay.

Dave, we want to-- Hey, I-I want to eat it.

-Uh, you hold it. -Oh.

Uh, big news. CL. We've got five minutes of her time

down by the loading dock if you want to

-talk to her about tomorrow. -If I want to.

No, I'm just gonna wing the first video

for my first single off my first album.

Okay, well, use that charm on her, all right?

-Let's go talk to her. -Okay.

Who is CL? What does CL stand for, Corean Lady?

-I'm just joking. -Have some fucking respect, Gata.

Chae-rin Lee. She's a Korean pop star.

When you're big out here, you get every stream.

Honestly, CL, I could not have asked for a better guest first.

-You killed it. -Thank you.

Change your name to CW, because...

...I don't see any L's the way I'm looking.

Do you know when the song is coming out?

Uh, as soon as me and you make

the best music video of all time tomorrow.

Uh, by the way, I did do some tweaks to the beat

and a few lyrics, so now I added a drop.

-Okay. -'Cause I want it to go crazy a festivals.

-Yeah, yeah, sure. -You know? This is a global song.

So I, it's...

Oh, I can't believe this.

My one day off just got fully booked.

This is crazy. I can't live like this.

Have you ever read the Calvin and Hobbesbook

The Days Are Just Packed?

Hmm?

Ah, Gata, I don't know if I can do another 16-hour flight.

My back is killing me, man.

Bro, you gotta keep the steak sizzling, nigga.

Some things just must be done.

Or I gotta stretch more.

Look at CL's manager. Look at how he squats.

He gets so low to the ground, it's like his butthole

can touch the earth.

Why you watching another man squat?

Because I'm impressed.

You talking about how low he getting?

-Yeah, that's impressive. -You about to blow my high, bro.

I'm about to bend the corner and get faded, bro.

You always sayin' some funny shit, bro.

You know what, you're lucky your finishing

your album right now, 'cause that's the only time

I ever get to be in one place all by myself.

I mean, for me, making an album has been, like,

psychological, uh, chaos.

You know, you only get one first impression, and this is

my debut, so it's like it's got to be so smart,

so good at rapping, so poignant,

like, so reinventive.

So-- So play me something.

Not my thing.

You know, I wouldn't even play anything for Obama, who's...

Come on, you have to play it for your management

or your label.

: Those people are actually

the last people on the face of the Earth

-I would ever play my music for. -Buddy, what up? -Oh.

Time to go. It's way too late.

Jae, did you know about this change?

-I needed a day off. -

I'm so out of the loop...

...on the language. Can I get a selfie?

Make it quick, please.

-Okay. -She needs her rest.

Wow. Okay. Uh...

All right.

Iconic on three. One, two, three,

Iconic.

Yeah.

-We look great. -Okay, gotta go.

-All right. Uh, take care. -Bye, Dave.

-You too. -Bye. I'll see you tomorrow.

Damn, bro, she look like Iron woman, nigga. That's crazy.

You in your Mr. Miyagi bag right now, bro.

You see what the fuck I do?

International gander, bro. That's crazy.

-You see what I'm doing? -She look like a Korean Beyoncé, nigga.

- -I'll see you guys tomorrow.

: Come on, CL. Fuckin' like the picture.

Like the picture.

Fuckin' like it, CL, just like the picture.

A'ight, G, you know what the deal is.

International Gata out here in Korea.

This the type of shit your bitch like.

Fuckin' exchange rate. Wonton soup.

All I do is won.

This room is plush!

Man, this room is weak as hell.

These beds smaller than my uncle's,

and he in the pen, man.

Oh. Sorry about your uncle.

Hey, it's all good, we don't want him out and about.

But this room is weak, man.

-I thought it'd be more player than this. -I know, Gata.

But we're all gonna be sleeping on the floor

if this shit doesn't sell.

Hey, is Dave always this tense?

-He's not as funny as I thought he'd be. -Yeah, man.

I mean, I love the guy, but you know,

he's putting the finishing touches on his album,

so he's just going nonstop.

You know, you're seeing him at his worst.

I know you feel like you're eating the most shit,

but trust me, we're all getting our taste, too.

He, Dan, how many Black people in Korea, bro?

I need to know the answer.

Uh, I'm not sure. I-I was born here,

but I grew up in Pomona.

And I bet you there's way less redheads

than Black people in Korea.

Here we go again.

Dan, don't fall for this shit, intern.

Seriously, bro, go to sleep, get some rest.

No, it's real, though. You know that, right, Dan?

We're the only race left that it's socially acceptable

to make fun of, to dog on.

You know how many gingers have been erased from history?

-Um, no. -Yeah, lots.

Thomas Jefferson, redhead. George Washington, redhead.

-Santa Claus. -Oh, Santa.

You see him with white hair. That's how they paint him.

But he had red hair...

-Right. -...in the original drawings.

-He was quite musclebound. -Wow.

He didn't have a gut.

-Can I go to bed now? -In great sh... What?

Could I go to bed now?

-Yeah. Yeah, we have a long day. -Cool.

Get to bed right now, Dan.

Go to bed. Got stuff to do tomorrow, all right?

I think you just...

-What is it? Oh. -Turn... Turn the thing. There you go.