Max Cloud

Mayday. Mayday.

Engine failure. We are in a spin.

Mission Control, can you hear me?

Engine failure. Mayday!

We're in a spin! I can't pull us out of it!

Can anybody read me?

Crew, prepare yourself for impact!

We're going in hot!

Hmm?

Analyzing.

Oxygen detected.

- -

What?

This is Captain Max Cloud. Over.

Repeat. This is Captain Max Cloud.

Do you read? Over.

We read you, Max.

You're breaking up, but we read you.

Thank God you're alive.

The galaxy would be lost without you.

We jumped into hyperspace

and had a total loss of all power upon reentry,

but I'm Max Cloud, and I don't have time for death.

Good news is we have your location.

- And the bad? - Your location.

I'm afraid you've come down on Alpha Zed-3.

Alpha Ze--

Oh, shit.

We've landed on Heinous.

Woah. Uh, Heinous?

Sorry. Why is that a, um,

"I'm afraid you have" type of situation?

The entire planet of Heinous is a prison

for the galaxy's most dangerous, violent, and immoral criminals.

That's far from ideal.

I'm afraid so.

Sit tight. A rescue ship will be with you in six hours.

Okay. Six hours, not a problem.

Let me just sweep the rest of the ship,

look for other survivors,

and check that the main hull of the ship has not been breached.

I'm gonna gamble it may have been.

What's your name, soldier?

Jake, the chef.

Chef?

I have literally cooked you food

every day for the past...

six months.

Well, Max Cloud meets many people.

I mean, like three times a day every day.

Time to move. We need to sweep the rest of the ship,

look for other survivors.

Do you copy me, soldier?

Yeah. Yeah.

Sweep the ship and, uh, look for survivors.

I said, "Do you copy me, soldier?"

I just did--

Oh, right! Uh, um, yeah, copy that.

Your Greatness, I--

Do not enter on my personal time, Scavenger.

Revengor, this is worth the interruption.

How rude.

Unless it is something from my top 10 list of wanted items,

step off.

You have perked my curiosity.

Surely not top five.

Yes!

No.

The tension is mounting.

No.

Yes.

Ah! Yes!

I knew this day would come.

How exciting.

Hello.

Sarah Noble here,

unofficial world gaming champion.

How are you doing, Cowboy?

Hey! How you know it was me?

'Cause you're the only one who ever calls me.

And I can hear you chewing a hot dog.

From a tin for the win.

So you coming tomorrow?

Ucch. No.

Dad's heading out, so I have to stay in

and wait for a delivery for him.

So? You can come out for a bit. He won't know.

I can't.

I'm not allowed, Cowboy.

I promised him I wouldn't go out.

I gotta go.

Yeah, I know. You gotta go.

Night, Sarah.

Good night, Cowboy.

Sarah!

Make sure you turn that console off before bed,

or it'll overheat.

I will.

I always do.

Uh, Dad, what did I tell you about knocking?

Well, I would knock if I thought I was gonna

catch you doing something other than playing those damn games.

Oh, but I'm so close to finishing it, though.

You know what? No, that's it.

I'm banning all video games this weekend.

Come on, Dad. Get a grip.

You can't speak to me like that

and expect to get away with it, Sarah.

Now turn it off.

Now.

No, sure.

You got it.

You know, your mother

hated you being on that thing all the time.

Jeez.

You have serious issues, man.

Watch it with that back talk, young lady.

Huh. What's this?

No way.

Secret room?

How have I never seen this before?

I'm the Space Witch. I know all.

I know everything about you, your every desire.

I'm sorry. Did you just say, "Space Witch"?

Yeah, Space Witch.

But you're a...

Well, I mean, you look like a man.

So?

Well, wouldn't that make you a space wizard?

Woah! How dare you?

Men can be witches as well, I'll have you know.

Nonsense!

A man could be a witch as much as a woman could...

captain a ship.

Yeah, well--

I'm trying to help you, Max Cloud.

Don't be a douche bag.

Max Cloud does not need help from weird man witches.

That's actually quite hurtful.

No, Max, maybe we do.

Sarah, who are you--

Sarah, what did I just tell you?

You know, if you're gonna behave like a child,

then I'm gonna have to treat you like a child.

No, Dad, don't turn it off.

Okay, I think I just found an Easter egg.

This might be the last time I find this place.

Dad, please.

I'm confiscating your controller.

You'll get it back when you learn to have a little respect.

No! Don't!

What am I meant to do?

Don't! You're just--

You're just being mean.

So unfair.

I wish I could just play video games all day,

every day, and no one could ever stop me.

Sarah...

see you later.

There's a pizza in the freezer.

I won't be back 'til late.

Call me if you need anything.

Okay, I'm going.