Carter

Charlie Carter, you can walk in here and derail my investigation,

but the bottom line is,

I spell murder with an "M"...

just like the next guy!

Stop.

- What was that? - Acting.

I don't want you acting.

I want you to live it.

I want you to love it!

- I want you to feel it! - Yes.

You are playing Detective Sneeps Sneepkins.

He was?...

I never saw the show.

- What? - I said I never saw the show man.

What the frigs Martin!

He was Harley's nemesis on every season of "Call Carter"?

- And a fan favorite I might add. - I only took drama

so I didn't have to do the mandatory gym course.

Okay my heart lies squarely in the world of science.

The world has enough scientists, we need more actors!

We're rehearsing the grand finale for BISHOP's 150th BIRTHDAY WEEKEND.

So pay attention.

This is the only man who should be talking right now.

He's your director.

Who are you again?

I'm Dave. I'm your Stage Manager.

- Gross. - What, why is that gross?

Why is that gross?

You are very mean. She's really mean.

Alright Mercedes take a chill pill.

Yes Dave is our stage manager

and that's the lowest rung on the totem pole but he's still a human.

Listen up,

come Saturday night, these seats are gonna be filled.

Oh, speaking of...

It is my honor to introduce to you

the OG Detective Sneeps Sneepkins,

Dwick Brisebois!

Yes.

Clap!

When I finally realized you were never coming back to Los Angeles,

what choice did I have?

What are you stalking me now? Get your butt up here!

Harley, you said you wouldn't make a big deal.

I feel kinda weird.

Dwick is a lot more shy, a lot more humble than I am

but we had a blast shooting

- nine seasons of "Call Carter". - Sure did.

So this is the guy you said I looked like?

He's like your doppelganger, fifty years from now.

Exactly how old do you think I am?

- Seventy. - Jesus.

Okay, Dave and I are going to go grab some vegan smoothies over at North Star,

but Mr. Brisebois is gonna hang around here,

give you some pointers, run some lines.

- No. - Yeah, come on.

- No, as I said I'm here on vacation. - Come on.

I just wanted to hit the beach you know,

get some sun maybe... Oh okay, I can run some lines I guess,

you know, yeah you know, believe it or not,

I myself was once a bit of a science nerd.

- I believe it. - You are so mean. She is so mean.

Good luck.

I think we should cordon off the boardwalk

filter people through the North Beach pathway,

- you agree? - I agree.

Yeah, especially when the fireworks display happens,

we want to have all of these exit routes mapped.

Hey.

- You okay? - Yeah.

Just...I know every inch of this town.

And, every spot has a memory.

Seems like you're thinking about a particular spot right now.

No it's just, I mean yes but its kid's stuff.

This is my interested face.

Okay, I was a freshman in high school

and I was supposed to meet this boy out here.

It was the carnival, summer night and,

in a way it was supposed to be my first real date

and that guy didn't show up.

He didn't show up.

What idiot wouldn't show up for you?

You'll excuse me if I'm too blunt, but I don't know how else to play this.

Don't you think we should talk about what happened at the range?

That I outshot you?

Yeah.

Listen...

I know what happened. And we should talk about it.

It's just I'm not always that great

at putting together the right words to describe how I'm feeling.

Alright, I understand that, I get it.

Just make sure you let me know when the right words come together.

- I will. - Okay.

- We got time. - Yeah. We got time.

But right now we should head back to the station,

start initiating this plan?

- Yeah, let's do that. - Okay.

Okay, Tears For Fears. Brilliant name.

- Flock of Seagulls, ridiculous. - Oh, I like it.

Men at Work. Brilliant.

- Men Without Hats, ridonculous. - Okay.

- Counting Crows... - Oh, that's a hard one...

Smash Mouth?

What the?

Sam!

- She's breathing! - Oh god.

Dave call an ambulance...

Boyle, hey.

Call all the ambulances Dave.

Carter

- Here comes the jiggly. - No, I feel fine.

- I don't want any... - Come on, have a little jiggly.

- I don't want any. - Here comes the jiggly train.

Come on have a little jiggly.

Jiggly train trying to get into the station.

Alright fine. Suit yourself.

Hey Dave, you want some jiggly?

Wes, what do we got?

All personnel at the station at the time of the attack

had at least trace amounts of the drug ketamine in their systems.

Chief Boyle hit his head when he fell.

He's stable, but in and out of consciousness.

Ketamine?

It is often used as an anesthetic in surgeries.

Alright Dave and I are gonna head to the station

and try and see if we can figure this out.

- Well, I'm coming with you. - Maybe you should rest

until your functions stabilize.

I'm not gonna stay in this bed while this is happening.

Let's get back to work. I'm still a cop.

- I gotta change. - Oh, okay.

- Well I think she... - Sorry.

Ms. Mayor, I get this is a big deal for your town...

Yes, I get that it's not every day a town turns 150 years old,

but with all due, there has been a serious threat.

You should cancel all the festivities...

Fine, it's your call. I will keep you posted.

- Hi there, how are you? - Abigail?

Sam. Hello.

- Hi this is... - Staff Sergeant Major Pershing-Linn.

RCMP.

Pershing?

- As in...Chief Pershing? - My dad, Angus, yes.

Oh, this is amazing.

- How are you? I am... - I know who you are.

The peacock.

Aside from the nickname, he doesn't talk about you much.

Which tells me everything I need to know.

The peacock?

Your dad was the best.

I always used to give him these hugs and lift him up

and his feet would just dangle just a little bit off the ground.

It was so cute. Tell him that we said hi.

Abigail. I haven't seen you since you were finishing up training.

- So you're a sergeant. Congratulations. - Thanks Sam. I've worked hard.

Hard enough to feel comfortable in someone else's office.

Your chief has been incapacitated

and I've been put in charge of this investigation

with full authority of my branch.

And this is an office I spent a considerable amount of time

in as a kid, so yeah, I'd say it feels pretty familiar.

Now, this whole station is considered a crime scene

so I am having your coffee stations and vending machines tested by the lab.

I'm sorry, you think an entire department was poisoned from bad station coffee

or a nasty nut 'n nougat bar in the vending machine?

Harley...You have a better idea, Carter?

Well, I mean the fact that the ketamine had such a wide effect,

it was probably airborne,

likely administered from the vents or the ducts.

That's where I'd start but hey, what do I know, I'm just a peacock.

I'm so sorry.

Abigail, we found this canister in the ducts filled with ketamine.

Fan blew it into the vents.

- Looks like Harley was right. - You kidding me?

Guys, let's concentrate on the upside here.

- I was right. - Zip it Carter.

Thank you.

Me and my team will take it from here.

Why don't you three go through the surveillance footage.

If you can handle that.

Surveillance footage? What are we rent-a-cops?

You don't think Abigail squeezing us out of this investigation

is in any way suspicious?

Well, if you would pay attention,

maybe we could be the ones cracking the case, right here.

Oh no. Abigail's purse just fell.

What the hell are you doing?

That is a Sergeant's personal property.

Well she left her purse out here so it's kind of her fault.

Yeah you know,

some psychologists might say she wanted us to search it.

By the way, three hand sanitizers?

Well that explains why she didn't want to shake our hands.

- Guys! - It's a plain view search

which I'm pretty sure is a thing.

It's a thing when you have probable cause.

Are you really gonna let Pershing's offspring

just waltz in here and take over our investigation?

In my world, there is something called the chain of command

and as abrasive as she may be, Abigail was sent here to do a job.