Daria

- And we're sitting there, trying to watch the movie,

and this guy next to Tom just won't shut up,

so finally, Tom takes out a $10 bill

and says to him,

"hey, buddy, I'll pay for your popcorn

if you promise to sit somewhere else after you get it."

- And then he developed a vaccine for polio

and tricked rumpelstiltskin into revealing his name.

Oh, come on.

You have to admit,

that young Thomas is a clever fellow.

Young Thomas?

Is that how they talk at his preparatory academy?

- Hey, I told you, his parents make him go there.

- Gosh, has he tried buying them some popcorn

if they'll let him go somewhere else?

- Yo. Hey, daria.

- Yo. - Why, young Thomas...

How nice to see you.

Anybody want a ride home?

That's very thoughtful of you,

but since I live two houses down,

I guess I'll pass.

Oh, yeah.

- Well, I'll take that ride. See you later.

See you later, daria.

Later.

So what did you do last night?

Oh, you know, not much.

You went out with Tom?

Well, yeah.

- You know, you don't have to tiptoe around me

like I'm some sort of hysterical nut job.

- There are many words I could use to describe you.

Hysterical is not among them.

I know what you think,

but I know what I think,

and I think I think just as well as you think,

don't you think?

Babe, if it were up to me,

I'd want you to have the brain power of a guy,

but it's science.

Men are smarter

'cause we have more muscle mass in our heads.

I'm just as smart as you,

maybe smarter.

Okay, sure you are.

Don't you fratronize me!

- You think I don't know what that means?

I know what that means!

- They're fighting over who's smarter?

- There's a battle of the titans.

I don't know.

You got to give Brittany credit

for not feeling like she has to conform

to his image of her.

- What's that supposed to mean?

Huh?

- Are you comparing Kevin and Brittany to you and me?

- There's, like, 16 possible combinations there,

and not a single one of them works.

- Kevin should accept Brittany saying she's smart,

and I should accept you and this whole Tom worship.

- Daria, you're making a big leap here,

and I don't worship Tom or anyone else.

Get over it.

I am.

- Class, this will be very exciting.

We're going to set aside our books

and experience some real-life economics:

Renting an apartment, applying for a credit card,

opening a retirement account.

Of course, I don't expect you to actually rent an apartment

or what have you.

You'll just go through as much of the process as you can

and report back on your experiences.

Your assignment tonight is to pick a project and a partner.

Excuse me.

What if we'd prefer to work alone?

- I'd really rather you work with someone, daria.

In the real world,

we rarely make financial decisions

without having to consider someone else's needs and wishes.

Lousy real world.

- So you want to do the project alone, hmm?

Kind of.

I kind of said that to tick you off.

It worked.

- Are you guys doing that economics project together?

Not necessarily.

It's not looking good.

Really?

- Aren't you working with young mack?

I don't know.

He's kind of bad with money.

Like, he's been overdrawn

on his allowance for a while now.

How long?

Since third grade.

So, babe,

what do you want to do for our economics project?

- I'm not doing any project with you, you big ape.

Uh-oh.

Oh, yeah?

Then who are you going to do your project with?

Um...

- Um, daria, do you want to work with me on this project?

Huh?

Don't do me any favors.

Sure, Jodie, why not?

Okay, cool.

Jodie,

Mr. Thompson and I are not speaking,

so do you want to do the economics project with me?

- Aw, gee, Brittany, I wish I could,

but I promised daria I'd do it with her.

Oh.

Well, um, how about you, Jane?

- You want to do a class project with me?

Well, not really,

but I mean, you're right here and all.

- Oh, Brittany, you sweet-talker, you.

I hate everybody.

So you ready to work?

Come on, daria.

If you don't like any of those other projects,

all we're left with is taking out a small-business loan,

renting an apartment,

or budgeting a funeral.

- Um, that's sweet of you, Russell,

but we just went out two weeks ago,

so I really can't go out with you again

for another three weeks.

Well, I consider a hospital visit a date.

Sorry.

Anyway, good luck with the new kidney and all.

Bye.

- Is that by any chance a sibling's funeral?

Why don't we try the loan?

I do want to start my own business after college.

- Come on, Mel, give me another shot.

We'll have them lining up to buy methane-powered hot tubs.

Hey, how about this catchphrase:

"So it smells? So what?"

Come on, Mel.

They're gonna repossess my parking space.

Yes, let's start a business.

Nothing like being your own boss.

- What should we call our company?

- Brink of bankruptcy, incorporated?

- How about millennium project enterprises?

No, no, absolutely not!

It's unethical. It's immoral.

It may well be illegal.

I'll have no part of it.

Okay, I'll do it.

It's a little busy in here.

You want to take a break and get some pizza?

- Can I put it on my millennium project enterprises

expense report?

What do you think of this?

We could plan a wedding.

That sounds dreamy.

I guess we could say

you're marrying your high school sweetheart

and I'm just there for moral support.

Oh, no!

I'm not marrying that jerk!

No, you're not actually...

I tell you what.

We'll tell them my high school sweetheart

begged and begged me to marry him,

but I finally had enough of all his immature behavior

and went off to The Bahamas to be alone and think,

and I met a wonderful young stablehand named Andre,

and the minute we looked into each other's eyes,

we knew it had to be,

because anyone who knows that much about horses

would certainly know a lot about women.

You want to go get some pizza?

- Okay, so how about we say we want a home loan

to build one of those, uh, book rooms onto our house?

'Cause, you know, we're a couple of smart guys.

You mean a library?

No, bro,

you're thinking of that building downtown

where you can rent movies for free.

- Why didn't I pay my dad back in third grade?

- Well, if you don't like the wedding idea,

how about shopping for e-lec-tive surgery?

Too messy.

Why don't we just use my standard approach

and pick the easiest?

You like cars?

Sure!

Okay, we're buying a car.

- Hey. - Yo.

Good afternoon.

Likewise, I'm sure.

- My partner and I were just discussing