Wilt

Stuff your loans!

Stuff your loans!

Ha!

That's alright, I quite understand.

Ha!

Ha!

Ah!

Ah!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

The body is a tree.

The lower half is the trunk, solid and grounded,

while the upper half must be supple like leaves,

that rustle in the wind.

I got turned down for promotion again this morning.

- Bye, Fran! - Bye, Eva.

See you Friday!

What?

Nothing, apparently the college lacks cash

and I lack drive.

Course you do, Henry.

Kura-San says it's like a river

of cleansing self-revelation.

Who in the hell's Kura-San?

My instructor.

That's Norman Hewitt, the manager of Multivision.

Is this the one?

No, no, no, it's an unleavened wholemeal bread

a bit like paratha.

What's wonderful is you're seeking oneness

with everything around you.

Are you?

I thought that was Transcendental Meditation?

No, TM's quite different.

Yes, TM's on Tuesdays, isn't it?

- Here you are, dear. - Thanks.

I do wish you'd loosen up a bit, Henry,

the trouble with you is you're always reading

or talking about books,

you don't know what the real world's like.

It's always been your trouble,

you never try and expand yourself spiritually or physically,

you never want to take the lead at anything,

you're one of life's born followers, you always will be.

No wonder you're out of condition,

you have no appetite for life,

all you ever do is walk the dog.

You don't have the slightest desire to grow,

to lift yourself out of the rut.

Don't I?

I could fulfil my latent promise

only if some fortuitous disaster overtakes my wife.

Henry, have you been drinking?

I too have discovered the dormant power in my puny body.

These hands can kill.

Henry, you're making a fool of yourself.

Come at me.

If I do, I'll snap your spine in half,

now let's go home.

Come at me.

Argh!

It's a brand new restaurant, Vietnamese cuisine.

It's supposed to be wonderful.

Are you out of the bath yet, darling?

Yes, darling.

I told Sally and Hugh 1:30.

Hm-mm.

Sally and Hugh.

I suppose they're both black belts in karate.

No, no, no, you sat behind Janice Allsop

and she sat behind Ingrid Lambourne.

Oh, that's right and Susan Murchison sat behind me

in front of Alison Windle.

No, no, no,

Alison Windle sat two desks in front of me

behind Janice Allsop.

In front of Ingrid Lambourne.

- Right. - Oh!

Janice Allsop, she was incredible.

Well, she must have been

sitting three desks behind herself

and two in front all at the same time.

That can't be right, can it?

I know what it was.

I think we've about covered

school reminiscences now, haven't we?

I loathed every minute of it myself

and what's really depressing, you know

is that's all some people's entire lives consist of,

I mean, they go to school, go on to college,

get a degree and then go back to school again

to regurgitate it all to someone else,

I mean, can you imagine what a mind numbingly

stagnating experience that must be.

Hm.

Yes, it must be, mustn't it?

Has anyone tried the muck noi thit?

It's squid, it's rather delicious.

More wine?

No, thank you.

I think you're going to be driving us home today, darling.

Hm, so what are you driving at the moment, Henry?

- What me? - Does anybody here

own a Y registration Vauxhall Cavalier?

Oh, Henry, for goodness sake!

Look what you're doing.

Leave it.

Come on, Dasher, come on.

No, if I may just say on behalf of me and my wife

how very grateful we are for being given the opportunity

to experience this Vietnamese banquet.

No, honestly, I can see now why the French left Indo-China.

I mean, Sally.

Hugh, you must come and see the extension

to my status symbol sometime, you'd love it.

Why does she do it, why does she hone in on these people

like a dung beetle into a sewer?

She goes off to a flower arranging class,

she comes back talking of clitoral stimulation.

Evening.

If I just slide it gently in like this.

Ow, careful, you're pinching!

Buries it there.

Now it's on.

Now try and keep it pointed roughly at him,

then we can pick him up nice and clear.

Germany calling, Germany calling.

Good morning, campers.

Right, Inspector.

Right.

- Watch it, sir. - Oh, ta.

Can you smell something, Dave?

No, what is it?

The sweet scent of victory,

the biggest narcotics ring this side of Bury St. Edmunds,

I'm just about to nail 'em to the wall.

What do you reckon?

Go on, make yourself scarce. - Right you are, Inspector,

or should I say Chief Inspector after tonight?

Come on, Dave, you can't really see me

sitting behind a desk, can you?

One of these days she'll push me too far, Dasher,

something's got to give.

I think what I'll do then is I think I'll murder her,

it's the only logical solution.

Something grisly would be good,

grisly but ingenious.

Hm.

I've always said it, a successful market economy

depends upon the freedom of the individual

to inject whatever substance

he or she likes into their veins.

They supply the demand, we merely supply the goods.

Drowning's a good idea,

amateur scuba diver in canal death mystery,

no oxygen in her aqualung.

- Oh, yes. - Oh!

- Oh, Nigel. - Oh.

Oh, do it to me.

Oh.

Well, that doesn't sound like Inspector Flint.

What the hell's going on?

Well, it's been a fascinating chat, Mr. Macari.

You can rest assured you've said all the right things.

Alright, lads, switch off now,

he is hung, drawn and quartered.

If you'd like to hand over those documents now please.

Double crossing, I'll show you!

Uh, Christ!

Help, help me, I'm being mugged!

Help me, help, argh!

Get the thieving bastard off me!

Alright, hand it over, sunshine!

Oh, Christ, what the hell do I do now?

Hand it over, come on.

Hang on down there, hang on!

You're finished, sunshine.

Argh!

Well, run for it now, while the bastard's down!

Thanks, mate.

Right, okay, you're coming to the police with me, mate.

I am the fucking police, you gormless erection.

Shit!

One, two.

When I was out with Dasher,

I got involved with a police undercover operation,

I ended up nearly bashing a detective inspector to death.

Sally's invited us to Hugh's birthday on the 12th.

You should see the house they've bought,

it's got its own granary.

Hm.

You don't have to feel inferior

just because Sal's got money.

Yes well, I couldn't feel inferior

to a merchant banker, darling

for the same reason I couldn't feel inferior

to a 30 watt light bulb, they're both dim