Tales from the Crypt

FRANKLY, YOUR HACKS-RAYS LOOK TERRIBLE.

YOU'VE GOT TO PAY CLOSER ATTENTION

TO YOUR ORAL DIE-GIENE

OR YOU'LL END UP LOOKING LIKE ME.

I WANT YOU TO BRUSH AFTER EVERY MEAL,

FLOSS AND GARGOYLE TWICE A DAY.

HMM, YES,

LOOKS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO DRILL.

THIS WON'T HURT ME A BIT!

IN THE MEANTIME,

TO TAKE YOUR MIND OFF THE PAIN,

I'VE GOT A LITTLE DOSE OF FRIGHT-ROUS OXIDE FOR YOU.

IT'S ABOUT A SIDESHOW MIND-READER

WHO'S LOST HIS HEAD OVER A PRETTY GIRL.

I CALL IT...

FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I NEED YOU TO CONCENTRATE!

I AM.

WELL, CONCENTRATE HARDER!

I'M TIRED!

WHY DO YOU NEED TO READ MY THOUGHTS?

I READ YOURS.

ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?

GODDAMN IT, CONNIE.

YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY!

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

YOU WANT TO CHANGE THAT?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE ANYTHING!

I JUST WANT TO... TASTE YOUR MIND.

EVERYTHING'S FOOD TO YOU.

WELL, EVERYTHING IS FOOD.

AND YOUR MIND IS A MORSEL THAT I CRAVE.

I WANT YOU TO CONCENTRATE, CONNIE.

GO ON.

DO IT!

NOW!

UM, AH...

IS IT, UM-- IS IT SOMETHING ON THE BED?

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING?

NO.

NO. NO.

UH...

OK, OK, OK.

UM...

AH, IS IT, UM...

IS IT AN OBJECT?

KIND OF.

KIND OF?!

DAMN IT, CONNIE.

YOU'RE GOING TO TEACH ME HOW TO READ YOUR MIND!

YOU HEAR ME?

I CAN'T.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SEND YOU MY THOUGHTS.

YOU KNOW HOW TO.

THE PROBLEM IS YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO.

REMEMBER HOW IT WAS WHEN I FOUND YOU?

LIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE,

POOR, PATHETIC...

AND THIS IS BETTER?

A LOT. YOU KNOW IT.

MMM, THIS IS GOOD.

COULD USE A BIT MORE...

BRANDY, YES.

MY MOTHER...

SHE USED TO MAKE A ROAST PIG THAT TASTED LIKE THIS.

I STILL DREAM OF IT.

I NEED SOME AIR.

OH, BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW.

ZAMBINI WANTS HIS DESSERT,

HIS VERY SPECIAL DESSERT,

THE KIND THAT ONLY CONNIE CAN GIVE.

NOT TONIGHT.

YES, TONIGHT AND EVERY NIGHT.

YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DENY ME.

MY HANDS ARE ON YOU, CONNIE.

MY MOUTH IS AT YOUR BREAST.

DON'T DO THAT.

YOU TASTE SO GOOD.

I COULD EAT EVERY DROP OF YOU.

I WANT MY DESSERT.

BRING ME MY DESSERT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU'VE BEEN A VERY BAD GIRL, CONNIE.

AND JUST FOR THAT,

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO SOMETHING

EXTRA SPECIAL FOR ZAMBINI.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

ZAMBINI WANTS HIS...

FAVORITE TREAT.

OH, YES.

GOOD GIRL.

AND, CONNIE...

NO STOPPING THIS TIME.

YOU'LL FINISH

WHEN ZAMBINI SAYS YOU'RE FINISHED.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

I AM THE GREAT ZAMBINI.

TONIGHT...

MY ASSISTANT AND I

SHALL PERFORM AN AMAZING DEMONSTRATION

OF PSYCHIC POWER.

FOR I HAVE TRAVELED ALL OVER THE WORLD,

BEEN THE SUBJECT OF EXPERIMENTS BY THE GREATEST MINDS,

ALL TRYING TO COMPREHEND THE AMAZING FEATS

YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS TONIGHT.

AND NOW, PRESENTING

SOLTARNA!

AND NOW...

I SHALL...

BROADCAST MY THOUGHTS...

AND SOLTARNA SHALL, IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING,

BE MY RADIO!

WELL, IF'N SHE'S A RADIO,

I WANT TO TWIST HER DIALS!

VERY AMUSING, MY FRIEND.

NOW, SOLTARNA,

ALTHOUGH YOUR EYES ARE BLINDFOLDED,

CAN YOU TELL ME

WHAT MY FRIEND IS WEARING?

HE IS WEARING A...

PAIR OF DIRTY UNDERWEAR.

WELL, I'M AFRAID WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE

YOUR WORD FOR THAT, SOLTARNA.

BUT I DO KNOW

THAT THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY FRIEND'S...

POCKET.

SOLTARNA,

I WANT YOU TO CONCENTRATE.

LISTEN TO MY THOUGHTS.

IT'S A BIBLE.

A LITTLE BIBLE.

YES!

IT IS A BIBLE, A BIBLE!

NOW, MY FRIEND,

WOULD YOU PICK A PASSAGE, A VERSE?

HMM. AND NOW, SOLTARNA,

I AM LOOKING AT A PASSAGE.

CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THAT PASSAGE IS?

FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES

AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US.

SHE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!

SHE IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!

SOLTARNA!

AND NOW,

FOR OUR NEXT SPECTACULAR DEMONSTRATION...

AIN'T THEY FINISHED YET?

SOON ENOUGH.

DAMN! I HATE THESE THINGS.

HEY, NABUNGA,

WANT A PEANUT?

WHAT'S THE MATTER,

PEANUTS TOO GOOD FOR YA?

HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU!

LEAVE HER ALONE.

I AIN'T HURTIN' HER.

SHE'S JUST A DUMB OL' GORILLA ANYWAY.

I SAID LEAVE HER ALONE.

SHE'S GOT ENOUGH TROUBLES WITHOUT YOU TEASING HER.

IT'S OK, GIRL.

GREAT CROWD.

DIRTY UNDERWEAR?

THAT WAS RICH, CONNIE.

YOU REALLY SHUT UP THAT RUBE.

IT WEREN'T ME. IT WAS ZAMBINI.

YEAH, RIGHT.

COME ON, CONNIE.

WE DIDN'T PAY NO DIME TO SEE YOUR ACT.

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS PRETENDING

ZAMBINI'S FOR REAL?

'CAUSE HE IS.

HEH, RIGHT!

SHE MUST THINK WE'RE A BUNCH OF RUBES, TOO!

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE A BUNCH OF RUBES.

LET'S GO, CONNIE.

WE HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO

THAN WASTE OUR TIME

TALKING TO THESE LOWLIFES.

I WANT TO STAY.

I DIDN'T ASK YOU WHAT YOU WANTED.

IT'S TIME FOR DINNER.

LET'S GO.

HEY,

IF SHE WANTS TO STAY,

SHE CAN STAY.

YOU'D DO BETTER TO MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS, BOY.

LET'S GO.

AND I'M NOT GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN.

ALWAYS PLAYING WITH FIRE.