Ang Syota Kong Balikbayan

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''MY GIRLFRIEND FROM ABROAD''

Passport, please.

Excuse me, ma'am. Can I see your passport, please?

Can you please come with me?

- Ma'am? - Now?

- Okay. - This way.

Ms. Catalina Bayumbong.

A returnee? Or keeps on returning in this country to bring in contraband?

Let me see your bag? Let me see.

Well, it's not here.

Maybe it's on your body.

Can I see it?

What's the meaning of this?

Get out!

Okay, take off your clothes.

- What? - What?

I said, remove your clothes. Or do you want me to undress you?

Remove it now!

Ms. Rosa?

Yes, ma'am?

We got the wrong lady.

No!

Ms. Catalina Bayumbong.

Please accept my apology.

It was a case of mistaken identity. I apologize!

- Mistaken identity? - Yes, yes!

This is an outrage! How can you possibly mistake me for her?

You're right.

- Don't you people know how to do your jobs properly? - No.

And somebody should teach you some manners.

- Ma'am. - Now, get out of my way!

- What a pretty returnee! -

- Cathy! Welcome home. - Hello, uncle.

Hey, I'm sorry I couldn't be at the airport personally.

I had a very early meeting.

- That's okay, don't worry about it. - Well, I'm sure you're hungry.

- I am. - Let's have some breakfast.

Good morning, ma'am.

Gosh, you should have seen how they've treated me,

at the immigration earlier.

It was unbelievable.

I was sure glad when they caught the real culprit.

Those people should be careful in dealing with returnees, like you.

- Right, attorney? - That's right.

But unfortunately, they never learn.

Anyway, let's move to the living room.

Okay.

So, Cathy, how long are you staying?

Well, about two or three weeks, maybe a month.

As you see, aside from visiting you and Aunt Agnes,

I also made an appointment to see a modeling agency

for some possible work.

That's great.

Well, you can stay here for as long as you want.

The whole house is at your disposal.

I kind of promised Aunt Agnes that I would stay with her.

But you can't live there.

That's a depressed area. It's not safe.

Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself.

Well, Cathy...

do you remember that piece of property that we inherited from your dad?

Yeah, why? What about it?

Well, there's this developer who wants to build a mall there.

And he is offering to buy the lot.

I see.

Well, doesn't Aunt Agnes live there?

- I mean... - That's all taken care of.

She will be given a unit in the condominium to be built there.

- Right, attorney? - That's right.

Just sign this deed of agreement, and we'll take care of the rest.

No, let's not worry about that now. I mean, I just got here.

And I'll be here for another month. So...

let's worry about it some other time.

What I really want to do is go visit Aunt Agnes.

So, can I borrow your car?

- Well... - Please?

Yeah, sure.

- Thank you! - Just be careful.

- Bye! - There's a lot of crazy drivers out there.

Oh you, your timing is so bad.

Why did you do it like that? ''Hey, Cathy, can you sign this?''

It's like you don't have any finesse.

- What if she immediately signed it? -

Be careful!

- Bye! - Bye!

- Hello? - Hi, Aunt Agnes, this is Cathy.

I'm on my way to your house.

- Cathy! Catalina Bayumbong? - Oh, my cousin.

- My cousin, my cousin! - When did you arrive?

Just now. As a matter of fact, I'm on my way there.

I told Uncle Facundo that I'll be staying with you for a while.

I'm at the corner of...

Araneta and Amoranto.

- Which way should I turn? - You should turn left.

Okay.

Do you want me to send Tino to pick you up?

- Yes, I'll pick... - No, that's okay. Don't worry about me.

I should be there soon.

- Oh my! What's that? - This sucks!

Oh, my God!

I hit a jeep!

- Why? - Tino.

I think something happened to Cathy.

Hello?

Hello?

Hey! Look at this!

Do you know how to drive?

Did you not see the red light?

- Red light? - Yes, red light.

Are you color blind?

Maybe you should try driving with your sunglasses off.

Because as far as I can see, that light is green.

Green? It just turned green now.

Don't you dare raise your voice at me.

You have no right.

What right?

But you bangs my jeep.

What bangs?

You hit my jeep.

What?

Don't keep on asking "what" to me, okay?

Oh, my God, this guy is impossible.

Isn't there anyone around here who can help me?

What?

What's the problem there?

Chief, look, she hit my jeep.

- Yes, there's a bump. - Look, officer, this man has been harassing me.

He stopped on a green light. Who stops on a green light?

Nobody stops at a green light?

What green? It's red.

We better go to the precinct and talk.

Well, that's better. Chief, you better ride here.

She might run away.

What?

What do you mean?

All right.

According to this report.

You are involved in a traffic accident, ma'am?

Well, officer, this is true.

But you see, it wasn't my fault.

It was all his fault.

Is that true?

Sir, don't believe her.

Is it false?

Is it true, or false?

False!

She said, it's not true.

Sir, she is lying.

Excuse me.

Mr. Officer?

Mr. Officer?

You see, Mr. Officer...

Yes?

Well, I'm a returnee here, you know.

And I wanted to spend my vacation in the Philippines,

because I was told that Filipino people were very warm and hospitable.

But this one, he's so rude.

Are you sure he's Filipino?

Gosh, how I wish I would've went to Europe instead of the Philippines

if I'd known this was going to happen to me.

Europe, Europe.

Why don't you go there?

Stop that!

Don't be rude.

She's trying to explain here.

She's a tourist.

We should entice them so they will enjoy it here in our country.

Because drivers like you are like kings of the road.

That's the problem with you, Sergeant.

She just talked to you in English, and you got sold already.

Are you insulting me?

You know what, he is insulting you!

He has no respect for your integrity or whatsoever.

- Do you see what I mean now? - See, she understood you.

You are insulting my personal appearance.

Personal appearance?

- So what? - So what?

Lock him up.

- Lock him up! - Sergeant, you can't do--

No more explaining. Lock him.

- Wait, wait. - Go!

- Sergeant. - Thank you, thank you.

- Thank you so much. - Don't worry.

- Don't worry. - Thank you.

- Catalina! - My cousin!

Auntie!

- My dearest niece. - Auntie Agnes, how are you?

- My cousin. - Tino, how are you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Not Tino. It's Tina.

If my mother is not around.

Oh, okay, I'm sorry I forgot.

Anyway, I'm so glad you came quickly as you could.

I surely would've gotten lost.

You know what, cousin?

If you saw how mom panicked...

Wow!

- Yes. - Because of your call.

Really. What I mean to say is I'm so worried