Still the King

So there's Dottie, she's the oldest, then there's Lottie...

the troublemaker.

And finally there's Barb, she's kind of shy, but real smart.

Curtis, I didn't even know you had three daughters.

Daughters? Those my girlfriends.

Pastor Johnson?

Oh, I'm sorry, I did not mean to interrupt.

I have some top secret info that I obtained from my "C.I."

Oh, "Church informant."

Well, as you know, Saturday is the Parade of Churches.

Uh... parade of what now?

Parade of Churches...

it's a lovely spectacle for others to see.

Pastor, it's been on the calendar all year.

Oh, well, unfortunately...

Saturday's not gonna work for me.

I'm going to the premiere of Slap Fighter 3...

The Legend of the Slap Master.

Agh!

Oh! That's the one where the man kicks the head...

off of the other one's body.

I can't wait to hear that.

Yeah, that's been on my calendar all year, too.

See it right there?

Oh, Pastor Johnson, your sense of humor, it just...

it really tickles me sometimes.

Anyway, my C.I. informed me that last year's winner...

is doing a Noah's Ark float this year, with real animals.

This means we have got to step up our build!

Build? Why don't you just use the same one you used last year?

Not sure why we keep losing.

What on earth...

Hold on to your butts.

Hot damn! Give your mom a hug!

Ma, it's been a while!

Wow!

I really love what you did with the place, Ma.

Thank you.

These seat massagers are strong and unusually centralized.

You're welcome. You know, when your Uncle Wayne told me...

that you was preachi" and daughterin'...

I thought bull!

And I'd just come see it for myself!

Can't wait to meet my lil' angel.

Well, there she is. Hey, let me go talk to her first.

Takes her awhile to warm up to new folks.

She's pretty.

What are you doing here? And whose semi did you steal?

Well, you see, my mom dropped by unexpectedly...

and she insisted on meeting you.

But I know you're not good with surprises and it's sudden...

Wait, that's my grandma?

Hi, baby.

No way.

Oh! Look at you! Oh!

You said you special ordered the right size!

I told you I have a big foot.

You just lost a customer.

24EE... and that's too small?

That's a sizeable foot, Dale.

Ruthie, why don't you stay and have dinner with us tonight?

Oh, no, your grandma, I'm sure she's got...

Eh-eh! Dinner? You bet your sweet ass!

I could use a home-cooked meal.

Well, if you're gonna stick around...

just take it easy on the road stories.

Debbie's a tough one to please.

I'm not sure you two will get along.

Ruthie, you are such a riot! My God, I love your mom!

Thank you!

Okay, here's cheers to my grandbaby, my grandbaby-mama...

and my handsome son, mm-hm.

Ma!

Okay, now, you gotta tell us what Vernon was like as a kid.

I'm sure he was a real pain in the ass.

Nah, you don't want to hear that boring old stuff.

- Oh, yes we do. - Oh, yes we do.

- Oh, yeah, wait 'til you hear. - Okay.

Vernon here... he loved art class.

No kidding! Charlotte did, too.

I bet not as much as lil' Vern.

Vernon, is there something you need to say to Miss Lewis?

How about a second coat?

Steak-umm? Why didn't ya tell me we were having guests?

I would've put my socks on.

Um, this is Ronnie... he lives here, too.

Ronnie, this is Vernon's lovely mom.

Oh, Vernon's ma... I bet he was a real pain in the ass, huh?

Not as much a pain in the ass as you're about to have.

Whoa, lady.

I'm just kidding you.

Look at him!

Ooh!

24EE... that's a sizeable foot, Dale.

And that's too small?

I told you, I have a big foot.

You just lost a customer.

This ends now.

This good a cook and this good-looking?

You let a really good one get away this time, Vern.

And she's got great taste, too!

I have got to make you my famous home-cooked chicken someday.

Why, I'd love that.

Well, how 'bout this week?

Does that mean you're sticking around?

Course it does!

You are?

Well, don't be silly, I just met my grandbaby.

How can I leave, gotta teach her how to drive my truck?

That'd be amazing.

You know, I could teach you on the road, if you wanna...

come with on my next haul to New York City.

Really?

I bet you'd love it there.

That's great. Uh, Charlotte...

could I speak with you outside just for a quick second?

Dude, Ruthie is so freaking cool.

You're so lucky she's your mom.

Yeah, she's something, all right.

I'm glad you two are hitting it off, but I kinda gotta give...

you a head's up about something with her.

You know, she's got a way of winning people over...

but then she also sorta has a way of disappointing people.

Hmm, that's a little ironic coming from you.

Your arm rose off the table!

He thought he could beat me arm wrestling...

but he thought wrong! Baby Arms!

Great work, people! We are so gonna win this year!

What in the hell is that?

Mrs. Johnson! Hi! How do you like our float?

It's "Jonah and the Whale"... obviously.

What do you think?

Well, I think you might as well quit now...

because that looks like!

- Ma! - What?

Well, you wanna win a float competition?

You gotta go big, baby, or you go home!

And if I remember my Bible stories correctly...

Jonah was swallowed by a whale not some little minnow.

If you're gonna make a whale, baby, ya gotta go big!

And I mean big, big!

We appreciate your spirit, ma'am, but this is about...

the biggest-sized float my tractor can pull.

I drive a rig for a living, and there ain't nothin'...

I can't pull, so we can just build that sucker...

right on my flatbed!

Aw, Ma, that's awful kind of you, but Saturday's just...

around the corner, so I don't think we need to be trying...

Let's do it!

Let's do it! Let's band together!

She's right, if we all band together, we can pull this off!

What do you say? Who's with me? You? You?

- Yeah! Yeah! - The good guy's with us.

Let's do it!

I'm about to embark on a dangerous mission.

If I don't make it back alive...

my only request is to have a simple, humble funeral...

and then to have my remains shot into space.

We're buildin' one.

There... there it goes.

Yeah, you definitely got a better thing...

Vernon!

What the hell are you doing here?

Look, man, since you dumped me, I lost everything.

Everything! Daddy even took the keys to the RV back.

I'm livin' out of a station wagon, Vernon.

It doesn't even have a proper bathroom.

I'm forced to pee into a Gatorade bottle.

I need you to let me be your manager again.

You asked me to take a dive for the King.

How could I ever trust you again?

What? I trust you!

Trust fall, hm?

Goodbye, Starman.

Oh, no.

You'll pay for this, Vernon Brown.

Hey, ma? Can I talk to you for a second?

What's up?

Hey, I'm really glad you decided to stick around and help out.