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They say necessity is the mother of invention.

That's one thing we've got here in Detroit: necessity.

Some people gave up.

A lot of us didn't.

Hell, most of us didn't have a choice.

We had to make it, turn lemons into lemonade.

And if you didn't have any lemons...

...well, there's always something.

Yes! Fuck! Ah!

God, yes! Fuck me!

Yeah! Oh, fuck.

So does anyone recognize that voice?

That's right, it was me.

This modest, even-tempered woman n front of you. That was me.

I used to be-- I was embarrassed.

I was embarrassed of my orgasm.

I was told I was too loud, that I came too much.

I was self-conscious. I was insecure.

And then, you know, one day just said, "Fuck it."

Just-- I said, "Fuck t! Just fuck it!"

Ladies, sex is not a job.

It's a way of life.

My name is Tanya Skagle. Welcome to Orgasmic Living.

Orgasmic Living.

It was a long shot.

Okay, clearly we need some new ideas.

Well, Ray, what if I'm out of ideas, all right?

I'm fresh out. I got it, I got it.

Berbig-- Berbig-- Ber-- Berbigs? Berbiglia?

Ber-- I can't-- can't read this, Cammy.

No more cursive, all right? God, it's not even English.

Look, what if this is my destiny?

I mean, I'm good at this crap.

And they have a great health plan.

Don't joke, Tanya. This is not your destiny.

It's not my destiny to be substitute teaching twice a week for the rest of my life.

Cammy, where are the filters?

Let's begin with the obvious, okay? We have an excellent product.

- Women like me. - Most of the time.

- Berbiglia! - So, what's the problem?

- Lenore can get clients. - Let customers in.

- And you can't. - You're gonna get me fired.

Look, okay, forget it. Just, the point is, women like me, they like my....

It's not all about your dick, Ray.

Okay, so it's not all about my dick.

- What's it about? - All right, what is this place about, Ray?

What do you think? What's Starbucks about?

I mean, nobody needs coffee so bad that they're willing to pay $5 a cup...

...for some caramel macchiato.

Lenore always said it was about lifestyle.

It's not about lifestyle. That's bullshit.

We need a place where women can walk in and feel comfortable...

...and it's normal. And they walk up to the counter...

- ...and they gotta... - Thank you.

...order.

That's it.

That's it. Yeah!

I quit. I quit. Cammy, I'm out.

Happiness Consultants. It's a wellness center for women...

...coming to a storefront near you, thanks to Judy Pearson...

...and the Certified National Bank.

- Uh-huh. - We encompass all needs.

All wellness-type needs.

Well, we do lifestyle...

...and feminine-type suggestions.

So it's both of you? You're partners?

- Business partners. - Obviously.

We're not married. We're...

We're not-- We're not a couple.

What we're trying to say is that we've got something special to offer Detroit...

- ...and we'd like to focus on that... - It's very special.

- ...full-time. - But what is your product?

Can you tell me that?

Can you give me an example, please, of what it is that you are selling?

Good boy.

Hand creams.

Organic hand creams.

Organic hand cream?

Eight banks, eight reject ons, Ray.

She was our first woman, how could she say no?

Women who hate women, I hate them.

The only female loan officer we get, and she's got a stick up her ass.

You know, I probably should've mentioned the Orgasmic Living part.

I don't think it would have made a difference.

No, it might have, because women like orgasms.

Men like orgasms too. It's not the point.

It doesn't matter what we said. The banks aren't giving anybody shit.

That's not true. The small-business Obama grants--

Don't! Don't give me that crap, okay?

The whole country's fucked up right now.

The banks get the big bailouts. The cops, the auto workers...

...the teachers and the perma-temps get the shaft, okay?

It's the way it works. Just forget about the storefront, okay?

It was a silly idea.

What are you doing?

Tanya! What--? It's not her fault. Wait, hey!

Hey!

Come on, Tanya! Come here!

Tanya, get back here.

- Tanya. - H, Judy.

Just-- Just one-- Just one minute. I can wait a minute. Are you coming back?

Before you go back there, just while you're-- Hello?

Judy? We were already-- We had an appointment.

- Just a sec. Judy! - Tanya.

Oh, hi, sorry. Is it on? Okay.

- Yeah, yes. - About the hand cream.

I know nothing about hand cream.

What I should have said is that women don't orgasm enough.

- All right, Tanya. Tanya, come on. - Just shush for one second.

The thing is we can orgasm more, both in the bedroom and in life in general.

Sex can be better, Judy. Our lives can be better.

You, me, the fucking country.

- In fear is where our orgasm lies... - Okay.

...where our happiness lies.

That is why we need the Certified National small-business loan.

And that is why I am offering you, Judy Pearson...

...the chance to take our class for free.

I want you to attend. You can see what it is we do.

There's no obligation, no expectation and I guarantee you, no regrets.

The whole thing was nuts, from beginning to end.

But banks and women, well, they work in mysterious ways.

The vulva. Have you considered your vulva?

Judy, the loan officer, and her bank-teller friend Joanie.

Tanya's first Orgasmic Living class.

For years I apologized.

I disregarded myself and my vulva.

But not anymore.

Hold on.

Oh, shit. Sorry, I thought I had this cued up. Just a sec.

Lad es, some wine?

Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah.

Fuck! Fuck, yes!

Fuck!

God, yes! Fuck me!

Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Okay, so, yeah.

That's me. And, really, in just four short weeks...

...you can fee that great too, both in and out of the bedroom.

That's where we're headed. But after this we move into the feedback...

...and then the practicum.

But we can skip that for now. So any questions? Any thoughts?

- Yes? - So you guys want a loan for this?

Oh, yeah, yeah. For the set-up, the utilities and the overhead.

But we have a lot of confidence in our program.

Well, there's the private consultations.

- What? - As my partner said...

...after class, we run a practicum. Ahem. Well, I run the practicum.

- Mm-hm. - Um....

It's where the real money is.

We can do an in-house session...

...or we could meet at a public place, a restaurant, you know.

I could wear this suit, or I could wear sweatpants.

You know, whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

I mean, we're really-- We're really very discreet.

We can put it all in writing if you like.

- Um.... - Yeah, yeah.

Joanie, can I talk to you for a minute?

Hold on a sec, you guys.

We're just gonna chat on the porch for a second.

- Yeah. - Yeah, no, it's a lot.

- Yeah. - Take your time.

The vulva? Of all the parts of the human body to pick, why the vulva?

It's a vulva.

- Think that's gonna get us a loan? - It's the vulva.

Do not stigmatize the vulva. That's the whole problem.

Why do you have to freak out every time something fun is about to happen?

Because my idea of fun and your idea of fun are not the same thing.

I mean, come on, private consultation?

- Are you kidding me? - It's just a date.

- It is not just a date. - Oh, come on.

It'll be something to laugh about 10 years from now.

"Fear is where your orgasm es."

I don't even know what that means.