Vlad Love (ぶらどらぶ)

Stay away!

No!

No!

That was incredibly entertaining.

Really?

Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell

I thought this might be to your liking.

Yes. I was very impressed.

I admire someone who can suck a human's blood without internal conflict or hesitation.

He's a model vampire.

I guess so.

What's this?

Crap. An annoying one found us.

What are you doing watching a movie?

Well, well, well. If it isn't Cinema Club Captain Maki Watabe.

Such expository dialogue simply won't do.

The scriptwriter really cheaped out this time.

Who's this girl? Who is she to you?

Hey, wait.

Very nice.

You're used to being in front of a camera.

By the way, this is 4K.

Skip the exposition!

Is she your friend?

Well, actually...

What's a pretty girl like her doing watching a movie with someone like you?

Someone like me? What does that mean?

I don't know who you are or where you're from,

but hanging out with this fujoshi is a waste of time.

A worthless, trashy,

and mediocre triple-feature of rubbish that lasts all night long.

I wouldn't do it if I were you.

Rubbish?

If not rubbish, then trash. Water flea.

An arthropod of subphylum crustacea, class branchiopoda, order cladocera.

I'm a girl belonging to phylum chordata,

class mammalia, order primates, family hominidae!

But you're a blood donating enthusiast and a pervert.

You're one to talk!

So, who is she?

She's a distant relative.

A relative?

Yes, a very, very distant relative.

She looks nothing like you.

She's my paternal cousin's brother-in-law's second wife's child from a previous relationship.

I suppose I can go along with that.

Crap. If Mai's true identity is discovered,

it could interfere with our blood donating activities.

You're really related?

I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but we're connected by blood.

Anyway, I'm so hungry.

I need to get her home quickly and feed her blood.

Then why don't the three of us go out for a luxurious dinner together?

What?

I know a nice place. I always stop there on the way back from the theater.

Gyoza General

What? But, uh—

I'm hungry...

Then, it's decided. Let's go!

No, wait. We—

Wait, Maki!

Come on, follow me.

6 Gyoza

6 Garlic Gyoza

Garlic Fried Rice

Three orders of garlic gyoza with extra garlic.

Three orders of garlic gyoza with extra garlic.

Could we also get three orders of garlic yakisoba

and three extra large orders of garlic fried rice?

Three orders of garlic yakisoba and three extra large orders of garlic fried rice.

Got it.

This place makes great gyoza, um...

I'm Mai.

Mai-chan, do you like garlic?

Crap. A vampire needs garlic like a cat needs currency—no, wait.

10K Ryo

Self-censored

Like a giant needs an iron club—no, wait.

What about giants?

What? What about giants?

You know, sometimes everyone around you can hear what you're thinking.

Oh, uh... I sure hope that giant guy brings us our gyoza soon.

So hungry...

Mai, are you okay?

It might be because of that movie.

Huh?

That movie would make anyone feel anemic.

Personally, I wish it had been bloodier.

I-I guess so.

Anyway, must be nice to be a vampire.

They're handsome, popular, and immortal.

That's what you call the superficial knowledge of an amateur.

This arrogant bitch.

Who are you calling a bitch?

I sure could go for a bitchin' sweet dessert.

In other words, your approach to viewing movies is shallow.

Then why doesn't the cinema club captain share her thoughts with us since she's such an expert?

Thanks for waiting.

Three servings of garlic gyoza with extra garlic.

Vampires are only immortal in movies and novels.

But it's possible that vampires really do exist.

Crap.

What about crap?

Stop reacting to everything I think.

What real vampires have in common with fictional vampires is their need to suck blood.

Their sensitivity to UV light.

The ability to modify their physical appearance.

Really? Then what about garlic?

You mean how vampires can't stand garlic?

That's fictional, as well.

By the way, their aversion to crosses is nonsense, as well.

So is their ability to transform into bats or wolves.

Real vampires are astoundingly long-lived,

but they age peacefully, and nobody can escape death.

Exactly.

What?

My stepmother Rubeus has deep laugh lines etched into her face.

Serves you right, bitch.

Huh? Mai, what's gotten into you?

Gyoza rule.

You ate all the gyoza?

At least put sauce on them!

You got a problem with me, huh?

Uh, oh. What's gotten into her?

Is the garlic having this effect on her?

Miss, please take your fight outside.

Shut up! Stay out of this, phimosis dick!

The chef's got phimosis?

Where's our garlic yakisoba?

Where's our fried rice?

Mai, calm down.

Good. Very good.

Look this way, my powerful lady.

Say butter.

Girl consumes large quantities of gyoza and goes on a rampage!

Flying girl!?

Mass Hallucination!? Drugs in the Gyoza?

I doubt the police will take a story about a high school girl

demolishing a gyoza restaurant seriously.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

You're probably right.

But she's not human.

Don't feed her indiscriminately for your own entertainment.

It's not like I fed her garlic for fun.

I wasn't expecting garlic to produce that side effect.

Instead of being a weakness, it's like giving silver vine to cats or spinach to Popeye.

Could Mai's reaction be idiosyncratic?

Unless we learn that vampire's traits, things could get even worse.

To prevent further damage, we should investigate.

Text Number 1 / Mirrors

Her reflection doesn't appear in mirrors.

Text Number 2 / Photographs

Say butter.

Phones can't capture photos of her, either.

Wait, what? Didn't I just see her photo in the newspaper?

Text Number 3 / Crosses

How cute. May I keep this?

She's quite unconcerned by crosses, too.

Text Number 4 / Running Water

She can easily leap over running water.

Vampires aren't supposed to be able to cross running water.

It seems that vampire is different from the vampires I'm familiar with.

She's different from the ones I know, too.

The vampires you know?

For reference, tell me what you know.

Well... they're tall, pale, and wear black capes with red lining.

They're nobles, live in castles, and are sometimes gay.

They sleep in coffins during the day,

and at night they bite the necks of beautiful virgins

or plain old beautiful women and suck their blood.

Their victims come back to life as vampires.

When their hearts are pierced by stakes, they scream and turn into ash.

Garlic, crosses, and the sun are their weaknesses.

They sometimes transform into bats or wolves,