Aftertaste

Hey, I got you a VIP table.

Why don't we just go home...

Give me back my fucking daughter!

I want to give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert.

People raved to me, Easton! They loved it.

It upset the whole balance of my menu.

Your menu... was a bedtime story, dude.

I mean, I've been trying to tell you

there's been a revolution in food

while you've had your head up your arse.

Get out of my fucking kitchen. You're fired.

You're fired! Get the fuck out of my kitchen, bitch!

Go and cry in the woods and take a good, hard look at yourself!

Ahhhh-oh!

Hello, friend.

Can we offer some warm by our fire?

Or perhaps you need some food or water?

He's going to kill every single one of us.

Wait a minute. I know you!

You are the famous Angry Chef Man.

Oh, fuck. I need real booze.

You got anything else? This tastes like it could heal wounds.

No, just mead.

And it actually does have medicinal qualities.

Actually, medieval clerics...

Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay. Just... just give me some more.

Wood Duck doesn't like us to be intoxicated before the ceremony.

Just... just give me some more.

Oh!

Oh, those poor medieval sods stuck drinking this piss.

And eating raw turnips.

Getting stabbed in the back by their families for their crowns.

Nothing much has changed, though, eh?

Families still want to chop off your head and put it on a spike,

and for what, eh?

Just because you want to cook good food.

The only thing you've ever been any good at.

Filthy betrayers.

Brothers...

... sisters and non-binary friends, welcome.

This mushroom...

... is the first united key

that catapulted us

from ignorant ape to intelligent human being.

Its magic unlock art, technology,

language.

Nature provides us with answers

if we are ready to listen.

Are you sure you are ready for this, Mr Chef?

Yeah, and don't be stingy, Woodrow.

I'm twice the size of that little twerp who just had his go.

Yes, yes, my name is Wood Duck.

And please don't treat this lightly.

The magic provide to us with answers,

but also can put very difficult questions.

Yeah, unless the question is

"What's the square root of 5,000 fuckwits?",

- I think I'll be all right. - 70.71?

0678.

What?

The square root of 5,000 fuckwits.

We're mathematicians.

Jesus wept.

Yeah.

Wood Duck is here for you.

If you need him, just say, Easton.

Yeah.

Ahhhh!

Wood Duuuuck!

Oh, fuck, Duck. Make it stop.

We need to get some sugar into you,

and this will help bring you down.

Well, you must have a chocolate bar or something.

I don't eat refined sugar.

The spirit of the road will find us.

I've forgotten how to breathe.

Oh.

They won't stop for you. You look like something out of a nightmare.

Hey, wait, wait!

I'm Easton West! The chef!

I'm not one of them!

Are you the spirit of the road?

No.

Aren't you that wanker chef Easton West?

I feel worse.

Ah, just brain freeze.

Go to the bathroom

and splash warm water on your face.

That will help straighten you up.

Oh, Jimmy.

Dad, thank God.

Your mother doesn't want to be a mum anymore...

Easton!

No-one... gives a shit... about your quenelles.

People are over the angry white guy schtick.

Take your pants off.

Take your pants off.

Take your pants off.

Take... your pants off.

It's time you started listening to me.

Your little family story's a fucking lie!

Just like everything else about you.

Denise!

Go cry in the woods

and take a good, hard look at yourself!

You're fired!

Bitch!

Ahhhhh!

Hey, dickhead!

Good evening to you too, friends.

Ah, of course, I will recycle

your single-use plastic bottle.

_

- Any better? - No.

Much, much, much, much worse.

Listen, we need to go back to the camp.

There is a lot of danger in these roads tonight.

Let's go.

Your ego is stripped away.

You need to face your pain, confront it.

I need water. Give me some water.

I don't have water. There is water at camp.

I knew it, you selfish fucker.

I wouldn't do that.

You're taking us the wrong way, anyway.

- I think it's this way. - No, it's not that way.

- Is this way. - No, it's that way.

Well!

If you think it's that way, you should go that way

and not this way.

But Wood Duck will go that way.

Well, you're more cooked than I am anyway.

Why... why am I even following someone called Wood Duck?

I mean, who would call themselves that anyway?

- Because it's my name. - No, it's not.

It's probably something like Darryl or Geoffrey or something shit.

Wood Duck is my name.

Is in my driver's licence.

Oh, yeah?

And you... You are really Easton West?

- Yes! - You born Easton West?

- Yes. - I don't think so.

I am Easton West!

I am Easton West, celebrity chef.

I've worked in some of the greatest kitchens in the world.

I am someone.

And who are you? Who are you?

You know, some Frodo maths nerd with a Jesus complex.

Wood Duck?

Wood Duuuuck!

Yeah, Wood Duck, you're right.

I lied.

My name's Jimmy.

Jimmy West.

Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Jimmy! Where have you been?

You've been gone ages.

I was scared.

Getting dinner. Told you I'd be back.

Oh, what did you get?

A couple of rabbits, some mushrooms.

Denise, can you get some potatoes from the garden?

And a carrot or two?

Okay.

Curl your fingers in, so you don't cut yourself.

Now, some of that special sauce.

Oh, a bit more.

Oh. This is good, boy.

Your mother would have loved this.

Don't be gone so long next time.

I won't. I promise.

This is really good.

Oh. It's alive.

What happened?

You've been talking even more shit than usual.

- You back on drugs? - No.

Well, yeah, but...

... just the good ones.

Last night, I...

... I had a vision.

Babbling about ducks or something.

You know, I get it now.

What Mum leaving did to you, to all of us.

Denise being so angry.

Being so protective of Diana.

And you just...

... burying yourself in all that junk.

What are you on about?

I've gotta go and see Denise and Diana.

I gotta... I've gotta explain.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Last night I did something terrible.

Something... something unforgivable.

What now?

I took part in a drum circle.

One, two, three!

Oh!

Hello. Welcome to We Sell Beds.

Can I help you ladies with anything today?