Guilt

You know what I liked?

The butterfly release.

They paid for butterflies, then they had a cash bar.

- It was beautiful. - It was bang out of order.

You've got no soul.

You've got too much.

Shite! That'll stain!

I'm sure you can spare a deposit.

It's not rent-a-jig.

I don't rent clothes.

A man from Leith with his own tuxedo?

You know, your whole problem, Jake, is you think that's a criticism.

What's that light mean?

- You've turned on the heated seat. - Heated seat?

Honeymoon Kickstarter and a cash bar!

80% of the world living in poverty

and folk like you are driving about toasting their arses.

That wasn't a wedding, Jake.

- I'm not getting involved in this. - It was a glorified Ponzi scheme.

Max, call an ambulance!

- Let's not do anything hasty. - Give me your phone!

What's wrong with yours?

I-I'm off grid, Vodafone and...

- You're a grown man! - Call an ambulance!

- Oh, fuck it, let's go. - Max, I've just run someone over!

OK, they're... they're fine, they're just winded.

Winded?

Drive, Jake! Jake!

No pulse, he's dead.

- Don't be stupid, man. - He's fucking dead! All right.

Shit.

Here's what's going to happen,

you're going to be charged with causing death by careless driving,

driving while uninsured,

and considering how many walks you went for at the wedding,

- I imagine you're a wee bit stoned. - You said I was insured.

You said you were sober.

Well, I didn't want to pay for a taxi.

Well, that's a cracking defence, but, because I let you drive my car

uninsured and impaired, I'm criminally liable, and open to civil

prosecution by your pal's family there, either way I'll be disbarred,

but, on the flip side, I'll have plenty of time to come and visit you

in prison and hear how you're being relentlessly interfered with.

Is that his?

- He's called Walter. - Jesus Christ!

That's here.

He lives on this street.

Jake, lose that and let's go.

Oh, for...!

- What are you doing? What are you doing? - We can't leave him here.

It's not right. We... we can just say we found him.

Jake, you're disturbing a crime scene, this is another year.

This right here, it's another year of your life.

OK, OK, OK.

Shit, so, what? I mean, should I move him back?

- Which one's his? - Seven.

Right, well, let's get him off the street, come on.

Right, right, right, here.

OK, that could be anything, come on.

No, I can't.

We'll just say we found him.

Answer!

Answer the door!

Max?

What are you playing at?

It's empty.

Let's get him inside.

OK.

There.

OK.

Two, three...

He played the trumpet.

We've killed a sentient being.

Barely.

Terminal cancer.

He was dying, slowly.

We just made it quick.

There's not a mark on him.

Yeah.

Internal, or his heart.

They won't look for either if they buy this.

Poor bastard just slipped away.

Come on.

Are we OK?

Yeah. We're OK.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Oh, sorry.

No, who goes to a wedding and argues with the bride?

It wasn't an argument.

An argument suggests she had a defence.

It was a cash bar, Max, we can afford a cash bar.

Yes.

- But they... - Not the Kickstarter,

I don't want to hear another word about the Kickstarter.

- Why did you leave? - I left because

whilst watching you tell the bride that she was

technically guilty of fraud,

I thought, "I don't want to go home with that man," and so I didn't.

Just... I wish we'd come home together, that's all.

You drove home in that state?

Jake... Jake drove.

So, what happened to your car?

Someone reversed into it at the wedding.

Yeah, it was probably the bride.

It's Jake.

Oh. Hi!

I haven't slept, how could I?

Yeah, it was a good laugh.

What? Max?!

We've got to tell someone he's there, we can't just let him rot.

OK, I can help you with that, I'll be at the shop in half an hour.

You're seeing your brother twice in two days, that must be a record.

He's got a legal thing.

Sheriff Court.

Big time.

How did you sleep?

Very well, my pillows are Hungarian goose down,

they essentially cradle the neck.

Could we talk about the fact that we killed a man?

Why would we want to do that?

- Well, don't you feel it, Max? - What?

The guilt?

Jake, he was dying, pancreatic cancer,

that's a carnival of pain, if he was here now he'd probably thank us.

Well, I think he'd want to at least

touch on the fact that we killed him.

Look, we gave him a dignified exit.

Now, someone finds him,

he's spruced up and there's not a dry eye in the church.

Hm?

Yeah.

Pay your phone bill, we should stay connected, at least for now.

I left my wallet at the wedding.

- Fucking cash bar. - Look, just give me a few days and...

Oh, no, no, let's not go through that charade.

Where are you going, Max?

What are we going to do? Nothing. We move on.

"Walter passed peacefully."

If only they knew.

Would that be good, Jake? Would that be good if they knew?

- Just saying. You're losing it. - Oh, I wonder why.

Going a week without sleep? Or reading 100 obituaries?

Because, believe me, Max, that's quite a fucking combo.

Jake, they couldn't have buried him this quickly

if there'd been a postmortem,

which means they concluded natural causes, which means it's over.

"All those who knew Walter are invited to celebrate his life."

See? Oh, it sounds fun.

I'm going to work. Get some sleep. Christ.

- Leith Beats. - Jake?

- Speaking. - You're a friend of Walter'?

Walter?

- I'm his solicitor. - OK.

I'm at Walter's house doing the inventory after the, well,

you know, the sad news.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I heard something.

And I appear to have your wallet.

Right, I think, yeah, I must have left it there when I was...

- Flogging him records, I imagine. - Flogging him records.

Taken me half the bloody morning to catalogue them.

Aye.

Can you wait until tomorrow for the wallet.

No problem.

I'll just leave it here, shall I?

You can get it at the wake. Very good.

Yeah, yeah, maybe we could do that, or...

...or can I just come by and pick it up? Hello? Hello?

Fuck!

I'm sorry, Max.

- I don't accept your apology. - Ready?

Let's just leave it. Just...

...get him to post it or something.

No, Jake, because that could arouse suspicion.

And while you've probably aroused some suspicion

through your signature fuckwittery,

I'd like you not to arouse any more, so, that puts me

in the horrendous position of having to give you some responsibility.

I can't go back in there, Max.

You go in, you get the wallet, you leave. There are no other steps.

I cannot stress enough, Jake, the lack of other steps.

- Hey. - Hi.

Nice to see someone here with a pulse.

Right, yeah, well, got one of those.

- Can you give me a hand? - Yeah.

Thanks.

I'm Angie.

- Jake. - You were a friend?

- I own a record shop and... - I was just looking at his records,

solid collection, huh? And vertically stacked, which is...

Crucial.

- Oh, cheers. - Oh, no, can you...

- Thanks. - Sorry, sorry.

Actually, I just need to get my, er...

Christ's sake!

- Was this a step, Jake? - It just happened.

Hey.

This is Angie.

I'm Walter's niece, or was, I guess.

Oh, right, I didn't realise.