Eternity

Where should we go?

Couldn't hear you. What did you say?

Well, where should we go?

Hawaii is the obvious choice.

Hawaii is the obvious choice.

Just think about it. Stop that.

Will you stop and listen to me, please?

There's a reason that people convalesce at the beach.

You'll complain about sand getting everywhere.

I'll be happy.

Mmm. Well, that's what's most important.

Hurry the hell up, grandpa!

The Rockies are cozy. The cold isn't bitter there. It's warm.

Cold is just cold, Joan.

It's the kind of place you could spend forever.

It's 84 degrees in Naples today.

Italy?

- Florida. - We're not Florida people, Larry.

Oh, God. Joan, that sounds so snobby.

We're not Florida people.

You know, you sound like Karen.

Karen is my friend, and she is not well.

Well, we don't have to make people into saints ju-just because they're dying.

Jesus, Larry.

Look, it's got mountains and ice and snow.

So many things for you to complain about. You will love it.

I don't love to complain. That's not something people love.

I don't want to fight. It's a big day.

You know, people die at these things? I saw it on the Internet.

It's a gender reveal party.

I mean, I get eliminating the surprise...

- Can we just let them make a fuss? - ...but it's not party-worthy.

You know, one of the great joys of my life has been allowing for surprises.

- Do you... Do you remember... - Everything has to be a party nowadays.

...when you were convinced that Zach would be a girl?

- Everything has to be an event. - You just don't like parties.

No. No, you just hate having fun.

- Kids have preschool graduations now. - You're only happy when you're miserable.

You're five. You don't know anything.

- Look, I... Can we just enjoy it? Okay? - But, you know, you have the big party.

- Big party. - Larry!

Can we just enjoy it, okay?

Asshole!

I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it.

Joan.

Joan.

- We have to tell them. - I know.

Just give me today.

Sam, can you grab the balloons?

Yeah, I heard you. I'm getting the balloons.

- We're back. - Hey, Larry. How's it going?

- Hi. You look lovely. - We're back. Ah, the traffic, unbel...

- Oh, hi. How are you, sweetheart? - Oh. Thank you, Mom.

- Hey. Hey. - Grandma! Grandma!

Good to see you, my dears.

Let's go for some cake?

- Sam, the balloons. - I have the balloons in my hand!

Thanks for agreeing to host, Pop-pop.

- This is gonna be a boy. - How do you know that?

Because it's so low. A boy.

So, coming up on 65 years of marriage. Any tips?

You burst one of those balloons and you'll never find out!

Oh! Uh, Nana,

we found a bunch of your old pictures in the basement.

Thanks, sweetie.

Who is that?

Pop-pop was in the army?

No, sweetie. That was Nana's stupidly attractive first husband.

Jesus Christ, he's a dapper man.

Why would you leave him for Pop-pop?

No, sweetie.

Luke was a soldier and, um, he died at war.

Lar, you got really lucky, my friend.

I bet he would have been a good dad.

That's not how biology works.

Lar?

Hey, he's being funny.

Shut up, Zach.

- Larry, are you okay? - Dad?

- Dad? - Larry! Larry!

Larry!

Guess you weren't expecting it?

What the hell is going on? Where's Joan?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have now reached the junction.

Please alight the train

where your eternity lies ahead.

I don't remember buying a train ticket.

Well, I guess the surgery didn't go so well.

Mind your step. Disorientation is normal.

The newly dead from North America, arriving in Junction 301.

What is going on?

Hey. All the fun of the Middle Ages with none of the leprosy. Come on.

Hey, you want to party? Party all night, party for all time.

Hey, pally. Good to see you. You must be new.

- Where am I? - Jessica?

He hasn't made contact yet.

Jessica?

- W-What is this? - Your AC will be with you shortly.

- Welcome, Sandro. Follow me. - Hi. Can you help me? I--

Your AC will be with you shortly.

- Are you an AC? - Yes, but I'm not your AC.

- Come. - Jessica?

Final call for the Dingle World, 174.

Hi. Do you work here?

No, honey. I'm here for my health.

Listen. I think I've been abducted.

You haven't been abducted.

Well, where's my family? Where's Joan? Where am I?

You're in the junction. Your AC will be--

Be with me shortly. Yeah.

Next arrival in 15 minutes.

Final train from Junction 301, departing in five minutes.

Oh, Jill. This is all noise.

I know you, Jill.

You just want a box of Chardonnay and a pool.

I do like Chardonnay.

Well, then I have the eternity for you.

Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Straight ahead.

Oh. Sorry.

You little bitch.

Uh... Larry Cutler?

Is there a Larry Cutler here?

- That's me. - Larry?

- That's me. - Oh! Hey, man. I'm so sorry.

They had me at a whole 'nother gate.

Who are you?

I'm Anna. I'm your AC.

- What does that stand for? - Your afterlife coordinator.

That's not a job.

You've passed away, Larry.

No.

You're dead.

No. I'm not. I-I hit my head. And...

It's a girl.

Walk with me.

Oh. All right, listen. So I was sitting with my family,

- and then I, uh-- - Died.

No, and I... Whatever you're trying to pro...

It's not sore. Weird.

Look, Larry.

How is this happening?

When you get here, your form reverts to its happiest self.

It could be any age.

That's why there are lots of 10-year-old boys,

but not a lot of teenagers though.

Ah, shit. Joan. Joan, my wife. I need... I need to go back.

Oh, Larry. Look on the bright side. At least your penis works again.

- Hey, Anna. - My...

My penis always worked.

There's no need to feel shame here. We've seen it all.

Uh. Yeah. Well, if I was dead,

I wouldn't really care about the functionality of my...

- Penis. - Ugh.

I wouldn't be embarrassed and annoyed with you right now,

because you're not supposed to be annoyed in heaven.

Oh, they tell you such strange things down there.

Larry, what is a soul?

Uh...

I don't know. I suppose it's the perfect version of yourself.

No. It's just you.

No, that can't be right.

If you were annoyed a lot in life,

Larry, then you might be annoyed a lot in death.

Were you annoyed a lot in life, Larry?

Listen to me. My wife really needs me right now.

I'm sorry. It doesn't work like that.

Wake up, Larry. Wake up. Wake up. Come on, buddy. Come on.

What the hell is that?

If you were dreaming, you wouldn't feel that pain.

I didn't feel that.

You know, usually you old fellas really cheer up about the whole penis thing.

Listen to me, I need to talk to God, okay? That's what I want.

- I want to speak with the big guy. - Okay, so you're one of those.

I don't know why you didn't say that in the first place.

We got tons of eternities.

What are you, New Testament, Old Testament? Hindu, Buddhist?

- Pick your poison. - Hold on. Is God not real?

I don't know. But, listen,

after a couple hundred years in one of these eternities,

you won't even know the difference.

Who do you work for?

I work for Frank.

Okay, then, uh, who does Frank work for?

Frank works for Tom. Why-Why does it even matter? Come on.

We don't have time. I got other clients, Larry, please.

Okay. Well,

I'm sorry for assuming that paradise would look a little less like life.

This isn't paradise.

This is just a brief transition between life and eternity.

Oh, you've earned a life worth an eternity.

- I have? - It's just something we say.

Everybody gets an eternity.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

So all that "live a good life" stuff's a-a bunch of crap?

Afraid so.

Red door escapee.

- Get away from me! - Do not engage.

- Oh, that? Don't worry about that. - Get away!