Swedish Dicks

When I found out that the person I thought was my best friend...

my partner had lied to me.

Your boy Tex wasn't a stuntman. That was his cover. He was a hit man.

and was still alive. I'm warning you.

Don't talk to the FBI about our little meeting.

Or what?

If you do, I'm going to kill you right after I kill your daughter.

Tex threatening Sarah had made me concerned for her safety.

but I didn't think there would be any harm in calling her

to make sure she was alright.

What is it? Do you say so to his father?

It is, when he's calling me every 15 minutes

to know whether or not I'm ok.

Nobody's been bothering you? No strange people showing up in your life?

As a matter of fact, there is a strange person who's shown up in my life.

Who? You!

Sarah! Mr. Bergman, hi!

I just wanted to let you know that you didn't get the promotion.

Robert did.

I did. I hope there's no hard feelings. No!

Of course not. Good.

Sir? Quick question... Sure.

How did you make the final decision?

To be honest with you, you both were dead equal.

Well, that's not true. I was a little better.

Like I said, dead equal.

The reason why he got the promotion was because, well, he had seniority.

By one week. Like I said, seniority. Have a good day.

Hope there's no hard feelings. No, of course not!

And then you add a beat

like...

then you change the pitch, like...

Hey, we're walking here. We're walking here!

Watch where you're goin', asshole. Ok, asshole!

What up with you?

I'm tired. You're tired?

I'll get some coffee.

Ingmar, just the man we wanted to see.

There's been an interesting development in Dimitri's murder case.

The autopsy shows a poison on the darts.

It's a close variant to a poison we believe Tex used

on a hit in Chicago 11 years ago.

while you 2 were filming "Death Heart". So, what are you sayin' there/

Huh? Oh, you think that Tex might have something to do with Dimitri's murder?

Yeah.

Tex is dead, guys! True, Tex is dead.

If anything should pop into your memory about what happened

when you were at Dimitri's, you give us a call, alright?

Sure.

Hey, here you go.

Want it?

Yeah.

So, after much thinking and drinking,

I had come to a conclusion.

The best way to ensure Sarah's safety

was for me to leave this crazy, fucked up world.

and go back home to Sweden.

Sweden? That's right!

But you said you'd never go back.

Yeah, I know, but I say a lot of things I don't mean and I

and I talk a lot of crap, you know. Yeah, but

what made you change your mind? Honestly, I do miss it.

You miss the freezing cold? Yeah, and the darkness?

And the very high taxes. I know it might sound crazy

but yes, I do miss those things.

Especially the high taxes. I mean, they make sense, after all.

But... what about us?

Who's always been naggin' me about giving her some more space?

What about the Agency? I mean, we can't close it down now.

You don't have to.

I want to keep it going but I need a partner.

I be your partner. Really?

On one condition: we keep name same.

Oh, thank you, Sun. That's very nice of you, but

you don't have to keep the name just to honor my memory.

I no keep name to honor your memory. I keep name to keep cost down.

So, it was decided, I'd go back to Sweden.

which would hopefully keep Sarah out of harm's way.

Hello?

I know there's someone here.

Look, I think it's only fair that I warn you,

my father is a kick-ass private investigator

He will track you down if you so much as touch a hair on my head.

Do you hear me?

Alright. You know what? Fuck it! You wanna play hardball?

Come out where I can see you!

Oh my God! Robert!

Do you hear me? No.

I heard someone screaming. What happened?

I don't know. Just go call the ambulance.

Looks like you got that promotion after all.

Robert's beating had been more than just an opportunity

for Sarah to advance her career. It had been a message from Tex.

Did you get my message? No.

Sure you did! The beating in the garage?

Just wanted to let you know that I'm around.

This is what happens when you talk to the FBI.

I didn't say anything. Shut up and listen/

Next time, it's your daughter.

Tex, you don't have to worry about me saying anything to anybody.

In fact, I'm moving back home.

To Switzerland? No, Sweden.

I think it would be best for all of us if I go back.

Yes, that makes sense. Good luck.

Thanks.

One more thing... Yeah, what?

Remember to flush.

Tex?

I no understand. Out there, people cheating, killing, stealing...

Why do we have no client? You just have to be patient.

You be patient! Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to yell. I just...

I nervous. It's my first day on job. I...

I need something to calm me down. Maybe a nice hot cup of herbal tea?

I prefer hot cup of masturbate.

What? It's better than hot cup of tea.

Sarah! I want to hire the two of you.

First client! Ah, yes... What's wrong?

Ok. Well, you know that guy Robert from my job who got beat up in the garage?

Now he's accusing me. Of beating him up?

No... of hiring the person who did.

Why would you do that? To get the promotion.

Yes, exactly. Oh.

Very clever on your part.

I didn't do it, Sun. And we prove you not it.

And even if you did, we girls stick together.

Mm? Yeah.

I relax now.

Obviously, I was a little upset when I heard that Sarah had hired the

Dicks to find out who had beaten up Robert,but I played it cool.

Are you out of your fuckin'" mind? You can't take Sarah's case!

Why not? Why not?

Isn't it obvious, Axel? No!

No? No!

Are you sure? Yes!

Yes? Yes!

Yes? It's a conflict of interest. Don't you get it?

I mean, of course,

you'll prove Sarah had nothing to do with it because

you know Sarah and you like her. He loves Sarah!

No. You want to kiss her.

I don't love her. You attracted to her.

Attraction is not love. Go tell that to your man stick.

You can't accept this case because it's not even a case.

Of course it's a case! She hired us!

are the police pressing charges? No.

No? Then it's not a case. It's just Robert, who's angry, saying angry things.

Yeah, but he's saying them to Sarah's coworkers.

Yeah, so what? So, this a big promotion for Sarah.

She want people to know she earn it, not steal it!

You can't take this case from us! I knew that they had a point.

just like I knew that they would get suspicious if

I kept trying to get them to drop the case.

Tell those fuckin' clowns to drop the case.

I did.

But they wouldn't listen. Maybe they'll listen to a bullet.

If the police couldn't find anything, they're not gonna find anything.

You didn't leave anything behind, did you?

Of course I didn't leave anything behind. I'm a fuckin' professional!

Then you have nothing to worry about.

And there was nothing to worry about until...

Axel and Sun decided to good-cop bad-cop the parking lot's attendant.

Well, I mean, I have to say this is a beautiful garage.

It really is. I mean, I wish I could park here every day, really.

So, you didn't see anything unusual the night it happened?

Same old, same old... Cars coming in, cars going out.

You tell truth now or I beat up your skinny black ass!

Sun! Sun! Sun! Ah, you so skinny!

Hey, hey, hey! What the hell are you all doin'?

Just trying to find out some information. Yeah.

You know. I hired you two because people think that

I may have had something to do with beating up my colleague

to take his promotion.

and the way you find out said information is by

threatening bodily harm?

Do you have any idea how that makes me look?

Consistent? Axel...

You right. My bad. Sorry.

I still trying to find my style.

I'll tell you, girl, You haven't found it yet.

No. this was a mistake. I'm going to Jane McKinney.