Lady Dynamite

Single, stylish, now.

A lady's got to be ready for when it happens.

And right now, it's happening.

It's my life.

And I'll do whatever it takes to get that sassafras feeling.

Sassafras.

Thank you.

I'm a silly goose-snake.

Ooh!

I feel French.

Ooh, flowers for me? No, thanks.

Sometimes you just have to take a ride when life wants you to.

- Bye! -

Who knows what romance it will bring?

It's not what's in your head, it's what's on it.

- -

Hair that's so shiny and full...

Can you blame them for looking?

No time to pay.

I love being a woman.

Can a man do this?

First lady on the moon?

Thanks to Latrisse DuVois Hair Care Products,

by Gary.

I just had my tubes tied.

At my age, it's not safe to have children.

Get out of the way, you gypsies!

Because when you feel this good...

Ain't no man gonna tell me I ain't a woman.

Uh, Maria.

Hey, Maria. What are you doing?

Uh, hair commercial?

No. This is not a hair ad.

It's the show. It's your show.

- Let's get you to the van, okay? - My show?

I have a show?

I'm a 45-year-old woman, who's clearly sun-damaged.

My skin's getting softer, yet my bones are jutting out,

so I'm half soft, half sharp.

And I have a show!

What a great late-in-life opportunity!

Maria!

Wrong van!

Oh.

Stranger danger.

I have my own sho...

Pow!

Kick it!

Have you ever been to Detroit?

It's Maria Bamford

to see Bruce Ben-Bacharach. He's my manager.

- Bruce? - Ah!

- How are you? - Good!

I'm thrilled to see you. You look lovely.

Please come into my office.

- Hey! - The prodigal son returns.

Six long months and now you're back.

How do you feel? Refreshed? Revitalized? Renewed?

Yes, I do... I feel...

I feel very good, a little tired because of the heavy meds.

But, I'm also back on carbs.

I'm eating pancakes almost all day.

The entire entertainment industry has been eagerly awaiting

- your glorious return. -

I've made some big changes, too.

Big Hollywood power desk.

- Solid glass. That's not all. - Oh.

Kerplunk.

Sexy Hollywood power boots.

Move over, Carrie Bradshaw. From Sex and the City.

I'd like to get you booked on that.

- Is it still on? -

- God damn it. - Sexy power boots!

Now that you're back, tell me exactly what you want to do.

- Right. - TV show, movie, world comedy tour...

I'm gonna take a real shot at it.

- Yeah. - Chantrelle!

Get me the hidden big opportunities list, would you?

Okay, I would like to do less, not more.

That's the thing. Could it be less ambitious?

Or maybe not ambitious anymore.

Less ambitious?

No work for Maria.

I mean, I want to work a little, but just smaller things.

Less pressure. I mean... Stand-up at a book store,

alone in my living room or in a vintage eyeglass shop, or...

Sweetheart, are you pulling back because of me?

I can reel in that big fish. I can land the monster shark.

Believe me, you've seen the desk.

No. This is not about you at all.

I'm trying to get some balance in my life.

I know I've done some things I regret

and I made some enemies, I'm sure,

- from some of my behavior and I'd... - Mark "Sugar Ray" McGrath?

Okay. What?

- The singer? - Don't listen to her. She is useless.

- -

- I bet they can buff that out. - I'm sure.

You know what it is? I just really wanna reconnect with my community.

It's like I don't even know who my neighbors are.

Forgive my distraction. This is a $37,000 handblown Murano glass desk.

- Oh, my God. - So understandably I'm irked with myself.

Yes, neighbors. A serendipitous meeting on a park bench.

"How do you do, sir?"

"I'm fine, thank you." "Is that your dog, sir?"

That's it. Human interaction. Yes indeed. I'm gonna make some calls.

I love it. I love it.

A neighborhood park bench.

That's exactly what was on my vision board.

When I was in the psych ward,

I kept cutting out benches for my vision board.

- I didn't know why. And now I know: -

It was to manifest community!

Bruce, you did it!

Well, I confess that I'm not sure what you're talking about,

but it seems you're happy with me. That's what matters.

- Yes. - Solutions everywhere.

And by the way, I'm gonna call these people.

I'm gonna say they delivered the desk that way

and how dare you, sir!

Really, I mean, why should I pay for the buffing?

Well...

That's it. I put my foot through my nest egg.

- Oh! -

The bench arrived. I invited my best friend, Dagmar, and her worst friend,

Larissa, also my best friend.

- Hey, dipshit. - Hey!

- What's with the bench? - Hey. Well, it is to connect

- and create community. - How fun.

Isn't this great? It's all coming together.

Why? Because you have a bench?

It's not just my bench, it's your bench, Dagmar.

It's your bench, Larissa.

- Thank you. - It's your bench, sir!

Come have a seat.

That's it, buddy. I'm gonna rip you in half.

That guy needs a bench for sure.

Why don't you come back? You kidding me?

Know what? I'm gonna make a note of this guy

in my notebook.

Oh, I get it. This bench is a way for you to access romance.

- No. - Yes.

- It's like a fuck bench? I love that. - No, no!

That's the way to build community. Sit here all night, suck Ds,

knock out your teeth, have a good time.

Maybe it's time to get back out there? S some Ds.

It's about learning people's names.

The more names you learn, the happier you are.

- I didn't know that. - Because you're a bad friend.

I am a wonderful friend.

- Oh, really? - Mhmm.

You didn't even visit Maria in her time of need.

Ok, no, no. We've already talked about this.

I didn't need to be visited. Besides,

- I'm sure you were busy, Larissa. - I wasn't.

- Okay. - I wasn't busy at all.

I didn't come because I'm an empath.

When people are experiencing negative emotion,

it sticks to me hardcore.

- Yeah. - So, I guess...

It's like I cared too much to show up.

You're a bad friend.

Look at this! The bench has got us communicating as a group.

Let's go meet the neighbors!

- Okay. - Oh, God. I'm terrified.

Hi.

I'm Maria... and your name is, please, sir?

- Oscar. - Hi, Oscar.

I am your neighbor and these are my friends...

I just wanted to let you know I put in a bench

that I wanted you to come over and enjoy.

- Go fuck yourself. - Okay...

Hi! I'm Maria. I'm from...

I live across the street and...

Just... gonna put in a bench.

I think it's helpful for...

the community... Okay, all right. That's good.

And I just wanna invite you and your family or... Okay.

We are loving, open people! Don't shut the fucking door in my face!

Don't shut the fucking door in my face!

No? Okay.

She hates you.

I'll kick her ass!

Why don't you put that in a fun binder?

I'm not very organized and don't have the resources...

Maria, I just had a Larissa thought.

- Okay. - Okay?

Let me be your assistant.

That would make me feel really useful.

Lets face it. The only way to be sure

that I'll be there for you is if you pay me.

- Okay. - I'm gonna need $35 an hour.

The music in the house has to be my choice.

I need Wednesdays off.

It's religious thing. You're not allowed to ask.

Six weeks off in summer, like the Italians.

You know what?

I do need help. And it's okay to admit that.

I accept your offer with love and gratitude. You're hired.

Great! I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. I'll be 4 hours late.