Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars

You did it, John.

All fighting has stopped.

There's no more dying.

And all of a sudden,

three is not such a scary number.

But no matter how wonderful this is,

I will not accept it

as a trade-off for losing you.

I've got you.

Thank you ever so for your kind assistance.

Always anxious to lend a hand to a Dominar.

So often I've proclaimed having a belly full of Crichton and Aeryn.

Never thought it would be so literal.

What did you call their species again?

This is Crichton. He is called a Human.

And Aeryn, Sebacean. Definitely Sebacean.

Rygel, do you have all the pieces?

From under every rock, every crevice,

I sifted the bottom sand with my bare hands!

Look at my nails!

Caa'ta, the Leviathan ship has returned.

Their transport pod is approaching.

Order the concealment canopy lowered.

Sir, another deep-space contact from Peacekeeper Strategic Command.

It's Grand Chancellor Maryk again.

Grand Chancellor.

Where the Hedsmana in my orders did you find the phrase

"preemptive attack"?

The Scarrans are massing

for an impending onslaught we all know is coming!

A conflict we are ill situated to win.

By challenging them before they are prepared, we have a fighting chance.

- You were sent to gather surveillance and... - With all due respect, sir,

I was sent here to perish

at the vanguard of this inevitable conflict.

I simply refuse to participate on their terms or yours!

Because of your actions,

the Scarran Empire has declared war against us.

Do you know what that means, Scorpius?

We are now officially engaged

in the last war of our era!

Congratulations.

- D'Argo! - Chiana!

- Your eyes. - I can see again.

- What happened? How? - He, He gave me n-new eyes.

- We found one, yes. - Stark and I found a Diagnosan.

What's wrong with him?

Nothing's wrong with him! He's fine.

Grunschlk, I thought you were dead.

Me? Hardly at all.

Those crystals are people's lives.

Stop waving that thing around.

This had better work.

You're lucky to have him, mate.

Diagnosans, they're at a premium.

Especially now that there's a war on.

What war?

The Peacekeepers and the Scarrans have declared war against each other.

Do the Peacekeepers know what they're getting into?

The Scarrans didn't give 'em much choice.

They were already taking the galaxy by force. System by system.

A galaxy-wide war.

The Scarran vanguard has breached our defense perimeter.

We've drawn them in sufficiently. The trap is set.

Captain, initiate the plan exactly as I instructed.

All pilots, deactivate targeting in-flight systems.

We fly manual from here.

Fly straight in.

Their targeting telemetrics will be corrupted

at least two degrees off center by the ambient magnetics.

You dared them to hit you.

Red Team, move close to my left flank. Blue Team, likewise.

Upon signal,

execute tier attack on lead Scarran Dreadnought.

Confirm.

All armada ships now taking heavy fire, sir.

Only for the moment. Stay positioned.

And... fire!

Lower your weapons.

How long?

About 60 solar days.

Where?

Still on the water planet.

Put your weapons down now!

Bad guys?

Yes and no. They did help us put you back together.

Put us back together?

They said it was an accident. You were crystallized.

Crystallized?

Last warning.

- You said yes. - I did?

- Sixty days. Any regrets? - No. It's going really well.

Hey, we're gonna get married!

Congratulations.

Sir, you were absolutely correct.

Their pilots and gunners were no match for ours.

- Scorpius? - Prepare to withdraw.

What?

The rest of the armada is to continue to engage the enemy, covering our escape.

But, sir, we're winning.

- Without this carrier, all remaining units... - My orders are clear.

Sir, you're asking us to withdraw our troops,

our ships, our...

Close hangars!

Wait for maximum speed.

He is alive, Sikozu.

John Crichton is alive.

One more time.

Begin again.

Fine.

For the 89th time.

Once upon a time, there was a boy named John.

And John was an astronaut.

He lived in a faraway place called Earth.

Which is so far away, you've never heard of it.

One day when John was out doing astronaut things,

a big blue wormhole gobbled him up and spat him out

at the far end of the universe.

- Things were looking grim in Mudville - Canaveral?

Till our hero met an amazing living ship,

made some nice new friends

and he hooked up with his dream girl.

We could've lived happily ever after, but the Peacekeepers

raped, chased and tortured us for years on end.

Fire!

Then two months ago, we got our asses shot off again.

This time it was the Scarrans, big reptiles. Oooh!

And Moya, our living ship,

limped her way to your happy planet for a little R&R.

Because we figure, it's empty! Hey, no one is gonna bother us.

We're gonna have a baby!

- Will you marry me? - Yes.

Next thing, me and the future Mrs. Crichton

are having a private moment when you guys fly by.

Boom bada-bing, squiggly line, squiggly line.

Crystallized. And it's two months later.

What?

Retreating.

Scorpius has powered off his onboard beacon.

We have no way of tracking him.

Broadcast this order. Highest priority.

The instant his command carrier is spotted, it is to be fired upon.

No hailing, no offer to surrender.

I want this coward Scorpius and all who fly with him

erased from existence!

Aye, Chancellor.

Scorpius is many things, Maryk. None of them good.

But a coward? Never.

He has initiated this war, and then turned and run!

How do you define cowardice, Grayza?

Grand Chancellor,

please consider my counsel on this carefully.

Hatred of the Scarrans

is Scorpius' sole consistent trait.

There is something else.

Perhaps. But my orders stand.

- Funny how? - Different.

Different how? Like ice cream cucumber different?

I don't know. That's why I'm here.

All right. Everything is gonna be okay.

Do you know why?

Because we're done. We're checking out.

Next Ferengi we see, we run. No questions later.

From this moment on, my one concern, my life

is you and our baby.

Are you sure?

- What? - Is she all right? The baby all right?

Doc says he doesn't know what you're talking about. There is no baby.

What? Whoa, whoa! What do you mean, no baby?

Ah, if there was a little passenger before,

it ain't aboard the train no more.

Doc says you never were pregnant.

- I was. - She was!

She was preg... You were pregnant?

I was pregnant!

There is no baby. No. Nothing.

Whoa!

We were in pieces, thousands of pieces.

Rygel said he got every single piece off of the ocean floor.

- Rygel. - He was very thorough.

We made sure of it.

Even carried the pieces up in his stomach

to make sure he didn't drop them.

Congratulations, mate. You are a mother!

- Oh, no! - It's all right.

The wee babe is doing just fine.

Yes, but it's doing just fine inside me!

This is not happening.

- Do something. - Hands off, missy.

The fee. The fee is going up.

You take it out of him, and you put it back in her.

Whatever it takes.

Won't do it.

Won't? I want this thing removed immediately.

It's not a thing!

Fine. I want this miracle of life out of me!

All right.

At the end of the first quadmester.

The baby's too small now. Fragile.

First quadmester? Give me a drink!