AJ and the Queen

It all started 'cause I needed money.

Yeah, I know, we all need money.

Except... maybe the Kardashians.

But since I didn't have a pushy mother, I was on my own.

That's his favorite wig.

He calls it Little Orphan Diannie Ross.

There's a lot more I could say about him.

You'll see.

He thinks that this is his story.

He's wrong.

Here you go, little man.

It's about me.

- Hey! - Yeah?

You bumped into me.

My bad. I didn't see you.

- How much was it? - Three dollars.

Give him a five.

- Here, man. - So sorry.

- Hey! - Yeah?

You bumped into me.

She's really turning the party tonight. Girl!

- Not bad for a senior citizen. - Ah.

Thank you. Give me more.

No, really. Ah-ah-ah.

I love it! Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Now, as you know, tonight is my last performance

here at The Box.

Yes,

or, as we ladies affectionately call it backstage, our smelly ol' box.

In six months,

I'll be opening my very own brand-new, state-of-the-art club,

Queens in Queens.

Queens in where?

- Queens! - That's right, honey.

Manhattan is over!

So, I'm inviting you all to come see me at Queens in Queens,

where I will feature all your favorite "ladies,"

- and, most importantly, - Yeah, baby!

my bartenders won't water down the drinks.

Ooh!

On fire, Ruby!

- Grrrrrrrl! - Ooh!

Thank you.

Ruby Red, ladies and gentlemen!

The one, the only, Ruby Red!

- Give me this, girl. Give me this bag. - Here you go, baby. Yeah.

You ladies can go home now.

I got all the money.

Oh, so shady.

Here. It's a goodbye gift.

It's a pair of 301s,

so you don't have to steal my eyelashes.

Aw, it's almost as if we like each other.

Yeah, almost.

Ruby. Who do you think you are?

Out on my stage, coming for me and my club?

And to think, I gave you your start.

Well, unless you're my aunt Charmaine

who let me parade around in her housecoat while my mama was at work,

you did not give me my start.

That was a good one, Ruby, girl.

How would you know what's good? I only put you on to clear the club

- so I can go home. - Ooh!

- What? - Oh, no. No.

No, no, no.

You leave Porkchop out of this.

You wanna come for me, you come for me.

What?

You think just 'cause you saved up some coin for your own place,

you can trash my club?

I don't have to trash your club, Tony.

Look around.

Your club is doing a good job at being trash

- on its own. - Ooh!

Who's she callin' trash?

And I did not "just" make some coin. There is no "just" about it.

I have scrimped and saved and gone without.

I've been patching up these fishnets since June 2015.

And that coin you referred to? It's not coin, darling.

- It's $100,000. - Oh, she got green!

- Bam! - That's nice, honey.

That's right. And I worked hard for every last mother-tuckin' penny,

bustin' my ass onstage every night for years and years.

And years.

Oh, you want in on this?

No, ma'am.

- Okay. - Oh, girl.

Bustin' my ass, drivin' all over this country

in a rundown 1986 Ford Econoline.

Love the Econo, girl.

But... that's all behind me now

because I'm opening up my own club, with hot water and a hot man who loves me.

Mm-hmm.

And my man, he got a business degree.

Ooh!

That's right, he knows business, and he knows what to do with my business.

Yeah!

- That's right, girl. - Yeah, girl.

He's the Sonny to my Cher.

- Mm! Oh, oh! - The Berry Gordy to my Diana Ross.

He's the René to my... Celine.

Ooh!

- Yeah! - You better hope your club's a success

'cause you'll never work here again.

Oh, I don't wanna work here again, honey. That's the point.

For once in my life, I won't have to answer to nobody.

- Preach on. - I'll be my own man.

- Ugh. - Yeah!

'Cause I've done too much soul-searchin' and sacrificin'

to wind up stuck here like you, Tony,

a shady, cheap queen overcharging bachelorette parties

and going home alone to a life of Netflix and Nicorette.

- Strut it, girl. - And that's why she's named Ruby Red.

'Cause when she reads you, you been read.

Uh-huh! Yes!

Hey, baby, you want a date?

You want a date?

Too late, girl. You're, like, in slow-motion and shit.

Go! Go, hookers! Go!

Better go, hookers!

Ugh! Those hookers are worse than the rats out in back.

We'll have our usual.

- One... - Yeah, yeah, one duck, crispy.

Dumplings, steamed not fried.

White or brown rice?

Oh, no, thanks. No rice for me.

Have some rice. You're too thin.

That is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

What about you? White or brown?

Brown.

I love me some brown.

Thank you, Mr. Hong.

And can you please split that duck for us and no skin on his half?

Yeah, yeah, the usual.

Same order, same booth. Every night.

Mr. Hong, you know, you don't have to split the duck,

if that's what she's upset about.

- I forgot our anniversary. - Oh, damn, dude.

You can't forget an anniversary.

Love needs some love.

Seven months for us next week.

Yeah, seven months along, and I'm not even showing.

I didn't get her a gift.

Oh, you know...

Give her this.

They're false eyelashes. She's gonna love 'em.

Go.

I love that we have a "usual." And I love that this is our booth.

It is.

And this...

this...

...is our club.

I picked up the blueprints from the architect earlier today.

This is even better than the rice.

Okay, look.

Okay...

Come on. So...

once we move this wall right here,

you see how it opens up the stage

- to the entire bar area. - Ah!

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Wow. This is all really happening.

Yeah. Yeah, it's really happening.

Oh! I have something for you.

These came today.

Matching credit cards.

And the best part is every time we charge something for the club,

we get airline miles.

So not only am I getting a club, I'm getting a vacation.

I'm thinking Greece.

Baby... ...we will get to Greece eventually,

but this first year has gotta be all about the work, right? You know?

It's gotta be about getting the club off the ground.

We gotta be very careful how we use these.

- Only work-related, right? - Right.

Hey, it's my sister.

- Tell her I said, "Hey, girl." - You tell her.

- Hey, girl. - Hey.

I'm here with Robert. What's up, Maria?

My babysitter called in sick.

Can't stay with Mama. Can you come home?

Uh, well, we were gonna go back to Robert's place tonight,

celebrate his last night in town before the tour.

No, go. Your mother's more important.

And, Maria, make sure you tell her I said that.

I want those extra points when I finally get to meet y'all.

- You sure? Okay. - Oh, that's so nice of you Robert.

I'm on my way, okay?

Tell Mom I'll be there soon.

I'll meet you tomorrow, okay? At the lease signing.

2:00 p.m. Don't be late.

All right. Uh, don't forget the blueprints.

Nah, I'll leave those here with you in our booth.

Wait, here? In front of the Hongs?

Hmm...