Columbo

I wouldn't want anything to unnerve her or upset her.

I'm lucky I didn't show up in my pajamas.

How could he have died? The door was bolted from the inside.

She dragged me to every musical you ever made.

I'm sorry you had to be dragged.

You'll see that it's not humanly possible for anyone to climb out.

I'm trying to reconstruct what Dr. Willis must have been doing just before he died.

Go away!

Who would want to kill him?

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm your premier host, Army Archerd.

We're outside the Regal Theater where Song and Dance,

that giant musical extravaganza made up of over two dozen film clips from past musical greats...

had its premiere performance here tonight and it received a rousing ovation.

Now we're gonna try and talk to some of the stars who made it all possible.

Like Diamond and Wheeler.

- Good evening. How are you? - Hello, Army.

Miss Wheeler, how are you, dear? And, Ned Diamond, how are you?

It's good to see you all tonight. And I'm telling you, this is quite a night.

Now how does it feel seeing yourself up there tonight...

on that giant screen with those old film clips?

A little bit envious of my youth.

The audience loved you...

and they loved the film. Don't you think so, Grace?

Oh, I do hope so.

The musical is practically a lost art form,

and this wonderful film gives us the best of the best musicals.

Well, you look like you could do those old dance routines right now.

I could.

In fact I plan to,

this fall on Broadway.

A revival of One Touch of Venus.

This is exciting news. Diamond and Wheeler again?

Well, not me, old friend. My mind's willing but my legs aren't.

But Ned will direct and choreograph,

the beginning of a new and brilliant career for him.

Well, good luck to the both of you and good luck to Song and Dance,

a new film for a great new audience of filmgoers.

Good to see you both here. Thank you very much.

Grace Wheeler and Ned Diamond. Thank you very much.

Now it's time to bring some other stars...

You must forget everything, your dance studio, everything...

and just concentrate on the show.

There is so much to do...

we really should capitalize all this wonderful publicity..

Before it dies out.

But, darling, what are we gonna do about a producer?

My darling Ned, you are the producer as well.

- I'm a producer. - You're a producer.

Now, the script needs a rewrite, I realize that.

We have to find me a new dancing partner.

Oh, I wish it could be you...

need a theater in New York..

Oh, I know who to call for that. What's his name?

- It'll come to me, it'll come to me. - Hold it, hold it.

Now slow down a minute. We've got to be practical about this.

Practical? That word isn't even in my vocabulary tonight.

Let's be enthusiastic and it will all work out.

You saw how they responded tonight. You know I can still do it!

Look, darling.

In these days, it takes a lot of money to produce a musical,

a half a million, at least.

If I want to spend a half a million dollars, that's for me to decide.

You just do your part, and don't worry, it won't be a flop.

I have enough confidence in our talents for the two of us.

I can see it, Ned, I can see it.

You're going to be a celebrated director and I am going to be a star again!

Oh, Ned, I'm so happy!

Oh, Raymond, we'll drop Mr. Diamond first at his home.

Yes, madam.

Good evening, Alma.

Oh, evening, mum. You looked so beautiful on the TV.

Oh, thank you.

You looked so photogenic.

Oh, it was a beautiful evening. Is Dr. Willis upstairs?

Yes, mum.

Would you be a dear and pour me a brandy?

Yes, I will.

- Thank you. - Excuse me.

Thank you, Alma.

- Alma. - I'm here.

Ah, I see you've got the tray ready.

Yes, I do, darling.

It was a wonderful premiere.

Oh, I saw it on the TV.

- Yes? - Yes, certainly did.

- Thank you, love. - Uh-huh.

Come in, Raymond.

- Evening, Raymond. - Good evening, sir.

Here we are.

Lovely evening, sir.

Not bad.

Speak low, my darling.

Speak low.

My darling, my darling my darling, hello.

- Oh, my darling. - Will that be everything, sir?

Yes, Raymond, thank you.

Oh, Raymond, I'll be viewing a film tonight.

11:00 as usual?

And I'm in the mood for Rosie.

How I love that girl.

- Walking My Baby. - Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, Henry, you should have been there.

It was the most fantastic, incredible, exciting night.

I mean, it was like yesterday never went away!

They absolutely loved me! They just went wild!

I saw you on television.

You did? How nice.

And then you heard my exciting news? I just blurted it out.

Yes, I heard.

- And you know I don't approve, Grace. - Oh, why? Why?

What about our trip around the world?

Oh, we'll do it another year.

Why do you continue with this preposterous idea...

to resume your career?

It's not a preposterous idea.

Where will your financing come from?

Oh, from you, my darling. From you.

I'm not investing $500,000 in a Broadway musical, Grace.

Your investment will be safe.

It will double, maybe even triple once the play opens.

And besides, the money is a mere drop in the bucket to you, Henry.

Half a million dollars is not a drop in the bucket to anyone,

with the possible exception of a Shah of Iran...

and Howard Hughes.

I realize that no one's knocking down the door with offers yet,

but I was a big star.

And what you don't realize is that the qualities...

that make a star never diminish.

So, by financing my own production, I will be before the public again,

and they will learn to love me all over again, Henry.

Grace, you must stop living in that fantasy world of yours.

Other women, less talented women, have brilliant careers at my age.

I cannot finance you, Grace.

You are a stubborn,

stuffy,

sick old man.

I am not a producer.

I'm not even a doctor anymore,

just a retired old man.

Listen to reason, Rosie,

I know you didn't marry me out of love,

but our life hasn't been that bad, has it?

Your film will be starting in a few minutes.

The film is ready, madam.

Well, let it roll, Raymond.

I'd like to announce before I start, the producers of The Towering Inferno,

Poseidon Adventure, Earthquake...

Excellent salmon, Alma.

Perfect accompaniment to the chardonnay.

Thank you.

Oh, you know it's time for a reel change. Do you want me to do it?

Oh, no. Won't take a minute.

- Smashing show. - That's why I want to watch it.

Can I get anything for you, madam?

No, thank you, Raymond.

- How you feeling? - I'm fine.

- I've not seen you for a long time. - Yes, a long time.

And I've been here several times...

and I still think the monologues are great.

Thank you.

But they're not an aphrodisiac.

Sometimes you're pretty good, Johnny.

You, too?

Yeah, you 'd be surprised how sexy you look through my feet like that.

I probably shouldn't mention this,

because it'll give away secrets that were long kept in television,

we have a device, you know, in television, where you can also look out.

Well, you sure had fun looking in my room, haven't you?

- Yes, you have. - You're an active squirrel...

And I'm one of the few of us who have no rhythm.

You never took singing lessons, per se, did you?

We'11 be here Monday with Steve Allen,

Elke Sommer, Howie Lipton, price fighter Wen a Sturgeon,

and a juggling professor, Jim Reinhart.

Thank you all. Have a nice weekend.

Well. Excellent show.

I'll just close up and look in on Dr. Willis.

Will there be anything else, madam?

Oh, no, thank you, Raymond. It's been a long evening.

Please look in on Dr. Willis before you retire.

Course, madam.

Good night.

- Sleep well, madam. - Thank you.

Dr. Willis!

Dr. Willis!

Doctor!

Dr. Willis!

What's wrong?

- You all right, sir? - Henry!

Let me try the door!

You push, too.

Yes, sir?

Columbo, Homicide.

Gee, I forgot my jacket.

That means I forgot my badge.

I was dead asleep. I got here as fast as I could.

They're upstairs, Lieutenant.

Good evening, ma'am.

Evening, sir.

Oh, this is quite a place.