Demoted

J* When I need it so bad J'

J' Why do you not come to defend? J'

J* Is that any way to tell me that you're gonna be J'

J' A terrible friend? J'

J' You remind me of a distant constellation I

J* The way you cover it up, but don't even touch J

J* And now you want to know, is that important? I

J* Baby, now, well, it just depends J'

J' It just depends J'

J* And when you come back uptown J”

J* Remember not to look for me there J*

J* I gave you one more chance to make it better I

J' But you don't seem to care J'

J* You pretend to be accosted by tradition J*

J* And now you cover it up, but tell me you don't I

J* Now you want to know, is nothing sacred? J'

J* Well, I don't want to have to compare I

J* They don't compare... I

16-inch radials, the new Nanoprene.

Don't blow smoke up my rump, okay?

If I don't hear "1,000 more units"...

Let me just check on the load index on that for you.

Um, you know, looks like it's--

What's that? No, everything-- we recycle every tire.

Man: Okay, okay, now we are talking.

All right, let me just pull up the paperwork here.

We'll get you squared away.

Your store needs products, right? So what's the problem?

It's about safety. it's about safety for your family, for your customers.

I mean, that's the bottom line. These are the safest tires on the road.

You know that. I'm not trying to bullshit you.

You did the right thing.

Bye.

Butch, mark one up for me, please--

three this morning.

One more for Mike, baby.

How can we be out of donuts?

I mean, it's ridiculous.

And the coffee machine's busted.

Where are they?

Hey, ladies.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, we have a very serious problem here.

We're out of donuts.

Jane, maybe you could get one of your girls on it ASAP.

- And the coffee machine's busted. - And the coffee machine's busted.

These guys are such a-holes.

No, excuse me.

I already checked it. It's fried.

You might want to just call the company.

Oh, look.

Oh.

Where are those donuts? Oh.

Thanks, Jane. You're the best.

High five? No.

Low five? No.

Thank you. Thank you, Jane.

Ken: You gotta be kidding me.

O'Donnell: So she's your dream girl, right?

Kline: No, she reminds me of my dad.

Ken.

Hey.

Oh, well, well,

I'm surprised you two even show up to these sales meetings.

How are you doing, Kenny?

It's Ken, dickhead.

And I know you've been fudging the numbers.

He knows we've been fudging the numbers.

Fuck you, Castro. Our numbers are legit.

But we know you shit your pants at last year's Christmas party.

Dude, that's disgusting.

I didn't really-- it wasn't like a full-on--

it was a dribble.

It was-- everybody does it. It was a mistake.

I-- I had bad sushi and I sharted.

The fart part was intentional, but I didn't--

I'm Bob Reilly, owner and CEO of Reilly Auto Parts.

At Reilly, we carry only the highest-quality names

like Goodyear, Firestone and Michelin.

Freeze. Now what's wrong with this commercial?

Lights.

Come on. He doesn't mention Treadline.

Mr. Farrell,

someone was messing with my chair,

so it's stuck in the down position...

...so if I seem petite,

then that is the reason.

Will someone get him a booster seat?

Now R&D and manufacturing have done their job.

Now it's up to us in sales to get these tires on the shelves.

Can you take notes for me? I forgot my pen.

We've closed deals with AutoZone, Pep Boys

- and Just Tires. - Thanks.

Now we're going after bigger fish--

Reilly Auto Parts.

One last piece of business here--

it has come to my attention that some sick individual

in our sales department

has been spreading pornographic emails of a homosexual nature.

Kenny Castro.

Castro.

Are you all right? He's all right.

No, I wasn't--

No, I didn't. It wasn't me. It wasn't-- I didn't do that.

I-- they're trying to say it was me, but it wasn't.

I didn't-- I wouldn't.

It wouldn't be gay.

I wasn't-- I mean, I'd do--

I mean, I wouldn't even do regular porno,

but if I did, it would be regular, is my point.

Come on, Kenny, get your hands out of your pants

- and put an end to it. -( laughter)

Now I expect everyone in this room to step up their effort.

Come on, let's get out there and kick some ass

and make this the best sales quarter ever.

You know it. You know it.

Let's work the phones. Let's do it.

All right, Steve, so let me tell you

why you need these tires in your stores, okay?

It's about safety. Seriously, I would let--

you know, let babies roll down hills in these things.

Mm-hmm.

Tire sizes?

Bro, you're asking a lot of complicated questions.

Yeah, I work here.

Yeah, we have maintenance. Believe me, this tire will leave

a bigger footprint than--

than Bigfoot, right?

You know 50 Cent?

He absolutely loves our tires.

I mean, you know that. I'm not trying to bullshit you here.

I mean, listen, want to hear something crazy?

I have actually rolled babies down hills in these things.

I'm not lying.

You know, just Google "50 Cent and tires."

You just did?

It didn't?

Well, I don't know. Maybe your Google's broken.

Believe me, as a senior salesman around here,

let's just say I know a thing or two--

ow! Hang on.

- Hang on one second, please. - Oh, hey, Joe.

Oh. I'm sorry.

There's-- yeah. No, no, there's--

we have a faulty air-conditioning unit in the building.

- Oh, hi. - Oh, hey.

- Hi. - Hi. Are you new here?

Yeah, I am-- first day.

Yeah, I thought so. See, 'cause we don't--

we don't actually get that many secretaries sitting here.

Mike: This is pretty much understood as our table.

We eat here every day.

All we do is talk about sports and fishing

and would probably bore the hell out of you.

- Yeah. - Right.

You got that? You good?

- Yeah. - All right.

Welcome to Treadline.

Welcome to Treadline? What, are you the official Treadline greeter?

Man over P.A.: And that's the ball game.

Treadline wins 6-5.

Good comeback, baby.

- Nice. Nice. - Nice toss.

Lucky catch, McAdams. I'm surprised you didn't drop it.

Oh, like that pop fly you dropped in the third?

A fifth grader could run that down.

Hey, I told you the lights got in my eyes.

They gotta turn the volume down on those things.

Hey, can we trade him to another team for, like, a keg of beer?

- Or just give him away? -( laughter)

Ha ha ha ha. You know what, Murphy?

I'm so sick of you. I really am.

You're about due for a beatdown UFC-style.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- All right, bring it. - Yeah, let's go.

Come on, let's bring it. Come on.

Come on, you can do it. Come on. Come on.

Another great game, guys.

Hey, come on, Kenny, you're out of uniform.

Tuck that shirt in. Come on now.

It's just "Ken," sir.

Hey, you two, let's get out there and celebrate. I'm buying.

- Nice. - Wow, what a victory.

That double play was just fabulous.

- Tailor-made. Tailor-made. - Yeah. Hey, where are we gonna go?

- Both: Flight Club. - Oh, boy, the Flight Club.

Hi.

Oh, hey, Destiny. Looking good. Love the new boobs.

Thanks, Rodney.

J* When I was nine years old J'

J* I knew what I was gonna do J'

J* A little bass, drums, guitar, I put on a show for you... J”

We sell tires. We're Treadline.

Oh-ho-ho. Uh-oh.

J* When all the old folks said, "This shit gon' bring out the devil in you" J'

J' Rock 'n' roll... J'

- Uh-oh. - J* It's all I want to do J'

J' Rock 'n' roll J'

J* Rock 'n' roll, it's all I want to do, it's all I want to do... J*

Treadline! Treadline in the house!

Good, right-- get out of the office?