85 South: Ghetto Legends

Atlanta, we've been waiting for this one!

-This is The 85 South Show! -

-There is no other show like this. -

We've got three of the funniest people on the planet on one stage,

and it's all improv.

You've seen him on Wild N' Out, Comedy Central, and BET.

From Washington, DC,

we've got Chico Bean!

He started out his comedy career as a social media superstar,

and now he's selling out arenas all across the country.

He's from the westside of Atlanta.

DC Young Fly!

You've seen him on Last Comic Standing, Wild 'N Out, and All Def Comedy.

From Oxford, Mississippi,

Karlous Miller!

This is The 85 South Show,

Ghetto Legends!

With special guests Rich Homie Quan

and Goodie Mob!

-Uh-oh! -Yeah!

Where we…

Westside, the motherfucking best side, bitch!

Atlanta, what's happening?

Uh-oh!

Oh!

-This motherfucker lit good. -Ooh.

This shit look good.

Look at this shit, looking like Morris Brown in this motherfucker!

What it look like?

She from Echo Ridge, that shit stank!

-Talk to 'em, Lous. -Hold up.

Hold up. Y'all think it's a game. Stop. Stop everything.

-Hold up. Stop everything. - Yo.

-You think it's a game. - What?

I got a Black girl that play the violin.

-You're bullshitting. -Watch.

Turn it back up, watch this!

Beethoven ain't got shit on you.

Yo.

- Yo, I like that. - Yeah, I like that.

Do the high pitch.

-Damn! - Ooh!

Do that one more time. That sounded like good head. Do that.

I had some head sounded like that one time.

- -

She must've just brushed her teeth if the head sounded like that.

I don't want head like that.

Don't it look like her titties kept playing in the car?

She separated 'em. "Get over there, get over there."

"I'm sick of this."

I bet when you take that goddamn bra off,

your titties drop like an old-school rapper.

How y'all feel?

This shit crazy!

Y'all might as well enjoy yourself.

You know your car getting broke into tonight.

We are in Atlanta, the home of…

You gotta roll your windows down and unlock your car

so your shit don't get broke into.

- It's my birthday! -Who birthday?

Not with that dress on.

-Shit… yes, it is. -You went to Party City, you trippin'.

Wait a fucking minute.

She stood up and said, "It's my birthday!"

Her nigga said, "Don't look hard."

Nigga, you know I don't want her. You don't even half want her.

Here in a little turtleneck. Nigga look like a priest.

He told me don't look at her, but his girl about to hug DC.

You a terrible boyfriend.

Don't worry about it. Sit on down.

See? You arguing with me, and she over there being for the streets.

Yeah, it's all good.

She got that lip ring. She got two of them.

You ain't changed them since you got them.

Hey, she gonna cheat on you, my nigga. It's over with.

I think she about to cheat.

I'll take a picture.

Talkin' about, "Let's go." Saggy-ass titties.

I'm just only saying what I see.

On some real shit, it do look like

somebody grabbed her titties, squeezed, and let them go.

Hey, Fly, what is Atlanta?

Atlanta. That's it.

-Fulton County. -Now we're in College Park.

College Park is College Park.

College Park is not Atlanta.

It's like, you know… It's College Park.

'Cause I'm from Atlanta. I went to APS.

-Atlanta Public Schools. -Okay.

Fulton County, westside, APD ride on my street.

You can't tell me nothing, bitch.

So, what constitutes being from Atlanta?

They say if you were born at Grady, Crawford Long,

Georgia Baptist, you know what I'm saying?

-Okay. -That's really Atlanta hospitals.

When you leave the hospital, your house gotta be in Atlanta too.

I'mma tell you the easiest way.

Everything inside of 285…

Is Atlanta.

-Most of it. -Supposed to be.

Most of it.

Look at all them niggas from outside 285.

Fuck y'all pussy-ass niggas!

I put my work in.

Nah, this College Park. This shit different.

-What's different? -See, like, in Atlanta…

-They break into your car. Mm-hm. - Right.

In College Park, they take shit off your car.

They taking all kinds of shit down here.

I seen a nigga snatch a nigga food at the food court. They not playing.

Jesus, you mean to tell me you break in a car in Atlanta,

but in College Park, they gonna steal your catalytic converter off your shit?

No, in College Park, they do shit like they'll take the whole tire off,

and steal your baby seat.

Damn!

These niggas down here do shit like bust your window and lock your door.

Know what type of nigga you got to be to steal baby clothes?

"Hey, bro, I got couple of 2Ts and 3Ts if you need them."

Somebody need them.

Shit real.

My homeboy, they busted his window out.

- No! -Stole the baby seat.

He put some plastic up.

I guess it was the same niggas. They came out and bust his plastic out.

He must've did something. They had a problem with him.

Won't let that nigga have plastic.

Man! Look at this shit, man.

We are in Atlanta with all these beautiful Black people in here.

Looks like a cold-ass graduation in this motherfucker.

Shit look lit! Look at all these niggas. Who got some weed?

Fuck that bullshit. What's happening?

Where my focus at?

I'm through smoking weed. That shit done got too strong.

Why you say that? Why you say the weed got too strong, Karlous?

That shit done got too strong, bro.

I know they put that fen-phen in it.

'Cause I was high the other day,

fucked around and ordered a pregnancy pillow, nigga.

-The one that you lay between the legs? -Nigga…

That ain't really a bad idea.

I'm at home taking naps like I'm ten months.

And I done got used to it. I done laid my nuts off the side.

That shit's good though.

I can deal with the weed. I just can't fuck with the edibles.

I can't do the edibles. I'mma tell the story.

Karlous gave me an edible one time,

shit made me start smoking regular weed for three years.

I went in the bathroom, looked in the mirror, my eyelashes flew off my face.

Nigga, I was like, "Nigga, I'm trippin'!"

Fuck that. I ain't fucking with no edibles.

I used to pop pills, nigga. I'm really from the trenches.

Martin Luther King. Stop playing with me.

Hamilton E Holmes, boy, was my train station.

Martin Luther King would not approve of you popping no goddamn pills, nigga.

Just saying, it's a long-ass ride when you come from Five Points.

That's an hour and a half. You gotta be on something.

See, you didn't even catch that.

See, only a nigga from Atlanta, when he tell you five different things

that ain't got shit to do with he talking about,

that mean he serious as fuck about what he about to say.

Hell you talking about?

Martin Luther King, my grandma house purple. Fuck you talking about?

Fell off my bike when I was seven.

Got in a fight with Lil Tay-Tay. What the fuck you talking about?

Real nigga shit.

No cap.

Ain't nobody's threw me no weed, bruh.

Goddamn. I said, "Let me get a three-five!"

These white folks ain't gonna do nothing to you.

They scared. They're like, "Oh no, I don't wanna get locked up."