Moonlight

Mick St. John, thank you for joining us tonight.

You're welcome.

So, what's it like being a vampire?

Being a vampire sucks.

It's a bad joke, I know, but it's the truth.

So you drink blood?

Why, are you offering? I'm just kidding.

Yeah, I have a guy.

- You mean like a dealer? - Yeah, like a dealer.

- So you never bite anybody? - No, no.

Unless they really ask for it.

- You sleep in a coffin? - No, that's an old wives' tale.

I sleep in a freezer.

And while we're on the subject, garlic is tasty on pizza.

- Does it repel you? - Repels my dates sometimes.

Toss holy water on me, I get wet.

Crucifixes? Okay, if you like that kind of thing.

Oh, and I definitely can't turn into a bat.

That'd be cool though, wouldn't it?

What about daylight?

Daylight's not good. Daylight's not good.

The longer I'm in the sun, the worse I feel.

- You don't burst into flames? - Not if I can help it.

How do you kill a vampire? Wooden stake, I'm guessing.

No, a wooden stake won't kill a vampire. Flamethrower would kill a vampire.

Or we can lose our head. I mean, literally.

Other than that, we heal.

You seem like a very nice guy, but don't vampires kill people?

Most vampires don't have boundaries or rules, but I do.

I don't hunt women, I don't hunt children.

I don't hunt innocents, but there's predators who need to be dealt with.

Is that why you became a private investigator?

It's a way to use my special abilities.

Any advice for the vampire wannabes out there?

Yeah. Stay out of my way.

I often wonder what it would be like...

if I had the opportunity to explain myself.

But that's just a fantasy.

Here's the reality.

You sleep alone.

You keep your secrets hidden.

Oh, yeah, and here's what a dinner party looks like.

I know. I know.

Everyone says they're open-minded.

Everyone tries to accept people who are different from them.

But the truth is, people don 't react well when they find out that you're undead.

And the other thing you've got to deal with?

When you live forever, the past always catches up with you.

Like all good detective stories, this one starts with a girl.

A promising life cut tragically short. Tonight, a killer is on the loose.

Well, technically, two girls, and one of them is already dead.

This is Beth Turner for Buzzwire. Cut.

- Really, I was okay? - Yeah, total Amanpour.

No one would even know it was your first webcast.

- We gotta get a shot of the body. - Cops won't let anyone get close.

I'm not leaving without my money shot.

- God, did I just say that? - Yes.

- I've become a news whore overnight. - Not overnight.

Lieutenant Carl.

- Carl, what can you tell me? - Let's see, Beth, nothing.

Come on, I was first on scene.

Who fed you the location on the 710 Freeway shooter?

All right, fine. We think she's a Hearst College student.

She had their mascot tattooed on a very discreet part of her anatomy.

Front or back?

Not these guys. Get these cameras out of here.

- Get these cameras out of here, move it. - Lieutenant...

When you've been around as long as I have...

you think that nothing can surprise you anymore.

But that was before tonight.

Before I saw her walking barefoot...

through a freezing fountain at 2 in the morning.

Beth.

Step away from the body.

"Murder on Melrose." No.

"Southland student slain." Eh.

Vampire. Something with "vampire" in it.

Do I know you?

You tell me.

- You're a cop, right? - No.

- Reporter? - Nope.

We've met before. You look very familiar.

Well, maybe I've just got one of those faces.

Okay.

Question: What do you like better?

- "Vampire slaying rocks L. A..." - There's no such thing as vampires.

I don't think the girl in the fountain would agree.

I mean...

Come on, Beth. The body's gone.

Cops packed up hours ago, okay?

- What are we doing here? - Looking for the girl's car.

Right, how do we know she didn't walk?

Nobody walks in L.A.

Here we go. "Hearst College parking permit."

Did you get any good photos?

Oh, yeah, Doug. I'm looking at it right here.

I need you to check on that parking decal.

- I can't deal right now. - Don't worry about it. I'll call them.

Two hundred thousand unique visitors on your vampire story...

and we posted less than 24 hours ago.

The vampire angle was genius.

- Did you come up with that? - Yeah, it just came to me.

Very nice.

Get me some science on this, an expert.

Now, I wanna blow this thing up. Make it seem real.

Are there "vampires" among us? I'm letting you run with this.

What's your next move?

Steve got the dead girl's address from her parking permit.

- I think I'll look around. - Don't think, go.

Mama needs fresh content.

You don't get to change the rules of the game after the game has started.

And that goes for your silent South American partners too.

My position is simple.

Okay, I'm short the Shanghai A-shares and that was a guaranteed deal.

Guaranteed. Hey, buddy, let me get rid of this guy.

My best friend Josef. One of the oldest vampires in L.A.

Four hundred going on 30.

Living ...

Well, unliving proof that paranoia never goes out of style.

Any default and I would not be sleeping so snugly if I were you.

These people are unbelievable. No integrity.

Oh, you don't like veiled threats? Then how about this?

Screw me, and I will personally come down there...

and cut your heart out, okay?

It's the only thing they understand.

Oh, well, that sounds good.

And my best to the family.

You look good. Been working out? Little bit, huh?

Have you seen the news?

This terrible thing in West Hollywood? It's everywhere.

- "Vampire slaying rocks L.A." - Yeah, it doesn't look good for us.

It's a threat to our secrecy. What is this, the 1720s?

We don't leave bodies lying around. Now we have to be extra vigilant.

We live in an age of fingerprint scans, DNA tests...

- Josef, relax. - I am relaxed.

This is relaxed. You're only 90.

You've never been chased by a torch-bearing mob. Hungry?

- Would you care for a liquid refreshment? - No, thank you.

Are you sure? She's delicious. '82 was a good year.

Oh, we went to the Super Bowl in '82, right?

Lost a million bucks on Cincinnati that year, right?

- Except for that. - Yeah.

You're fooling yourself if you think you can exist on that retail blood forever.

- I do all right. - Yeah, for now.

You're fighting a losing battle.

Okay? Sooner or later, your inner vampire is gonna demand to be fed.

And then what?

- Goodbye, Josef. - Goodbye.

My guy at the morgue, Guillermo, deals in information and blood.

Tonight, I needed both.

- Hey, Mick, what can I do you for? - Drinking on the job?

- Forty or six-pack? - Give me a sixer.

Oh, thirsty boy, huh?

I don't know why you like this A-positive so much.

The O-positive has got a much better finish.

I wanna see the girl they found at the design center.

Yeah, I figured you would.

- There's no smell of vampire on her. - I noticed.

- Carotid artery's been severed. - How much blood loss?

She exsanguinated. At 40 percent loss, the heart stops.

A vampire would have drained her.

Those aren't bite marks. They're too clean.

Plus there's impact trauma around the wound.

- Her neck was punctured by something. - Call me if you get anything else.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I work for you, right?

I didn 't intend to end up a do-gooder.

For the longest time, I was like most people.

Just kind of looking out for myself.

Then 22 years ago, I took a case that changed my life forever.

Mr. St. John? Please, help me.

Someone took my daughter.

Some cases really sucker-punch you.

You think you know what you're getting into, then, wham.

The police have nothing. It's been two days.

Whether it's a missing child or a murdered coed...

victims always leave a trail.

You just have to find it.

The cops had been at the dead girl's apartment since morning.

I'd been waiting since 6. Looks like I wasn 't the only one.

Ouch.

- You were at the crime scene. - Easy with the Mace, okay?

- Stay back. - I'm not gonna hurt you.

You're not gonna hurt me?

- How do I know you're not the killer? - Well, because I'm not killing you.

Okay, if you're not the killer...

And let's go with that because that's comforting.

What are you doing here?

- I'm a private investigator. - Let me see your credentials.

"Mick St. John"?

Who are you working for?

Falls under my client confidentiality agreement.

Don't you wanna know who I am and what I'm doing?

You're Beth Turner. You work for Buzzwire.

It's entertaining.

Excuse me, it's not just entertainment.

It's hard-hitting, investigative...

- Okay, a bit of sleaze. - Probably the best.

- Best what? - Thing they have.

Oh, thanks.

Let me see.