The Madame Blanc Mysteries

Finally.

Take the upbrake off, Xav. OK, maman.

Yep. Just me and the staff.

I should have been with him.

It wouldn't have happened if I'd have been with him.

Mrs White...

..I've got something to tell you.

Everything? Gone?

The shop will be repossessed imminently.

The contents need to be sold to pay your creditors.

But you can't.

I'm co-signatory. He must have forged your signature.

We never even signed a Christmas card.

Mrs White, I'm trying to get to the bottom of this.

How exactly did you run your business?

Erm...

Can I...? Can I have another brandy?

Right.

For about the last ten years, Rory has done a buyer's trip

to the south of France every couple of months or so.

There's a little town down there called Sainte Victoire.

And we discovered it by accident, actually, on holiday.

The antiques markets are... They're ridiculous. Amazing stuff.

We even bought a little cottage down there

when we first got married.Right.

I'm not a great traveller, and the business really took off over here,

so I've not actually been back since.

OK, so Rory bought the antiques on his own?

You're joking, aren't you?

He couldn't tell a Cole from a Constable.

No.

It was all down to smartphones. Smartphones?

I used to make him film everything before he bought it.

We were making money.

Look, there is something, Mrs White.

You are still in possession of the cottage in Sainte Victoire. Oh.

That's something, I suppose.

What about his personal effects?

Oh, well, that's...

..everything that was found at the crash scene.

Where's the ring?

Sorry? In this box, there was a very expensive ring.

Like I said, that's everything the police found.

This isn't right. This...

This isn't right.Look, I can have everything sent over. No.

It's OK.

I'm on my way.

Ladies and gentlemen, my name's Helen

and I'm your chief flight attendant this afternoon.

On behalf of Captain Benson and the entire crew,

may I welcome you aboard this flight from Manchester

to Le Cote du Fougeres?

Bonjour? Parlez-vous anglais?

Yeah.

Erm... Could I book a taxi, please,

to pick me up at Cote du Fougeres Airport?

When?

Erm... Well, I land at 12:30, so about 1pm?

Name? Mrs White.

Erm... Actually, just Jean.

Sorted.

Oh, I'm sorry, my French is a bit limited.

Oh. I said, "I always like to bring an afternoon tea on a flight,

"whatever time of day." Oh!

Fab shades!

Barbara. Oh. Jean. Thank you. You're welcome.

If you don't mind me saying so, Jean, you look like

your thoughts could do with a change of scenery. Here you go. Oh! Mm-hm.

These bizarre people always take my mind off things.

Great.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we're starting our descent to Le Cote du Fougeres Airport...

And now I know where you live, we might even bump into one another.

Here. When you've got yourself settled in, give me a call.

Oh! You sell houses? Yes, we do. Why? You think you're selling?

Yeah.Well, give me a call, then!

I will!

Oh, and thank you, Barbara.

Who knew that reading about ghosts who force-feed people's husbands

meat patties would be so cathartic?

You just never know what's around the corner.

Oh, can you speak to this man?

I can't understand a word he is saying!

Hello?

I want to know if they are still doing the offer on...

..the colonic irrigation.

It isn't... Not for me, of course! I'm asking for a friend!

Adele, could you keep your voice down, please?

Oh, for heaven's sake! Give that to me!

I don't know how they expect to run a business without speaking English.

Dominic! Judith! Hello! Fancy meeting you here! Bonjour.

Bonjour. Oh, look at you doing French!

Who are you waiting for, some lucky lady?

Oh, dear! Terrible business, all that.

Are you picking up his mother? I guess so.

She's on the Manchester flight. Oh, so much to do when someone dies!

Indeed there is, yeah.

Poor woman! You shouldn't have to bury your children.

When I lost my Tarquin, he was 13.

I'm sorry. I didn't know. Thank you.

Although I count my blessings.

There weren't many toy poodles who lived a life so privileged.

There he is! My darling, over here! Oh, darling, welcome home!

Welcome home, my angel!

Adele, be a darling and take Jeremy's luggage to the car.

Oh, let me give you a hand. Oh, that's all right, Dominic.

She's a big, strong girl. Aren't you, Adele? Oui, madam.

Oh, terrible business! Nice chap, Rory.

I bought a few pieces from him over the years. Knew his stuff.

Oh, hello. I think you might be waiting for me. I'm Mrs White.

Hello. Oh, are you...? Hello. Sorry. I thought you would be...

Dominic was going to say he thought you would be much older. Oh, was he?

Right. Thanks. I think.

She's right, I was, but I meant it as a compliment.

Our deepest condolences on your loss.

Always hard for us mums.

Sorry? Your son Rory.

Rory was my husband, not my son!

Of course! You look far too young to be his mother!

Yeah, I was going to ask the name of your surgeon!

Again, thanks, I think.

Erm... Is it OK if we go?

Yes, no, of course. Yeah, let me grab your bags.

See you soon!

And mum is not the word!

I'm glad you're here. I didn't think you would show up.

Your firm has a very rude receptionist.

Er... I am the firm and the receptionist is my daughter.

She's going through a very difficult age.

She has been for the last ten years.

Thank you.

Oh!

Speak of the devil! Mind if I take this? No, no, no.

Coucou, papa! What do you want? Can I take some money out of the flow?

I'm at the end of my overdraft, but I promise I'll give back.

Back by the end of next week. Merci, papa. Love you. Love you too.

OK, it's the last time, Xav. Trust me.

How long have we known each other?

Would I ever let you down?

The furthest away star that's ever been seen

is nine billion light-years away.

I mean, that is mind-blowing, isn't it?

I mean, the furthest away thing that I've ever photographed

is in the Andromeda galaxy, which is about 2.2 million light-years away,

give or take a light-year. Right.

Hm. So that light was there before we were human,

but it's so far away, it's only just hitting us now.

I mean...

Bonbons de voyage?

Er, No, thanks.

It's amazing, though, isn't it? Sorry?

Well, it's like a time capsule.

Wherever you look into the night sky, it's like a time machine.

Yeah. Yeah, right.

I can't see you! Can't see straight, you mean!

I'm going to plant lots of stuff out here.

For you!

Flowers! Gorgeous as you.

Yeah. You can't even keep a cactus alive!

Hey, I don't have to carry you over the threshold, do I?

Yeah, good luck with that. Right, come on!

Come on!

Brace yourself, Rory!

Mrs White?

Mrs White?

Sorry?

You OK?

Yeah. Miles away.

Don't you mean billions of light-years away?

Oof!

Needs a bit of TLC, that door, I think. Oh, thanks.

What do I owe you? Oh, just call it 20 euros. Really? Are you sure?

Yeah, I was out at the airport anyway, so... Oh! Thanks.

So... What was your name again?

Oh, Dom. Dom Hayes. So, if you need anything at all, Mrs White, just...

..give us a call. Oh, call me Jean. Oh, OK.

Well, bye, Jean.

I'm so sorry. I-I don't understand.

Erm... Just one minute.

Oh, hello, Dom?

It's Jean White here. You dropped me off yesterday.

Hi.

I hope you don't mind me calling you.

I just... I wondered if you could do me a favour.

Could you call by the police station, please?

I'm getting a bit lost in translation.

Oh, hi! Hiya.

Er, this is my daughter. She's going to do the translating for us.

She's a little bit better than me.

I'm supposed to be going out... Aw, thank you!

What do you want me to say?

I wanted to pick-up my husband's personal effects from the accident.

His name is Mr Rory White.

..Monsieur Rory White.

Andre! I thought you were still on holiday! We came home early.

My wife did not like the food. Oh.

Jean, this is my good friend and local head of police,

Gendarme Andre Caron.

Bonjour, monsieur.Bonjour, Jean.

He said a friend of my dad's is a friend of his.