Delusions of Grandeur (La Folie des grandeurs)

Monseigneur Le Grande.

Good evening, amigos!

Here is the tax money, your excellency.

Stamp tax, tax on salt and spices. How much is it altogether?

200,000 ducats, monseigneur. - Last year it was more.

Back then the harvest was very good.

Now the harvest is bad, so you must pay double.

All those taxes are for the king.

But Don Salluste, our people are poor...

That's how it should be. The poor stay poor and the rich grow richer.

Come on, hurry up a little. I still have to visit three more villages today.

Gather everything together. Hurry up.

And where are the cheers, the enthusiasm?

Long live Don Salluste.

Long live our benefactor.

Long live our great friend.

Never mind.

That carriage doesn't seem very sturdy to me.

I said it isn't very sturdy.

It's a sieve, everything falls out. If I were you...

After the carriage.

All for the king.

This is for me.

This is for me.

This is for me.

This is for me.

Hey, watch out.

Hey, take it easy.

The spice tax, for whom? For Salluste? No, yes.

The stamp tax? For the king? No, for Salluste.

Thief. No, not a thief. This is for Salluste.

Watch out.

Wait, monseigneur. I'll help you.

- My collar. - Let me help you.

That's my gold. That's my money. I don't need you.

Are you sure?

What's happening?

The villagers are cheering for you. - They're cheering?

I should have taken triple.

Blaze, Blaze...

Help.

Help.

Help.

Stop.

Stop.

Wait for me. Help.

- Why did you get out? - Good Blaze.

My hand. Help me, Blaze. Hold tight.

Don't let go of me. That good Blaze.

Thank you, good Blaze. They weren't cheering at all.

Here, take this.

They weren't cheering.

The scoundrels. They almost... That's the rabble for you.

Not there.

Not there.

There.

There isn't enough foam. - Not enough hair either.

Sit still.

And now, Blaze, flatter me a little.

His excellency is the noblest of all the nobles in Spain.

That isn't flattery. It's simply true. - Imbecile.

What did you say? - Imbecile, I said that to that servant...

my master does not come from an inbred marriage.

Don't judge by appearances. Even if his mother was married to the half-brother...

of his aunt who was the cousin of his father...

Are you sure this is flattery?

I wanted to say something else, but I didn't dare.

Go ahead.

Your excellency is handsome.

Do you really mean what you say?

I'm flattering you.

Good night, majesty.

What's that?

The queen.

Ah, how beautiful. Forget-me-not, myosotis.

The queen has an admirer. That's worth a lot of money.

It's Blaze.

There comes the old man. Now all hell will break loose.

A queen of Spain does not receive flowers. Not even from the king.

Now he's going to sing too.

Hey, Blaze. You're waking the whole palace.

Never has a word of love sounded in my ear. Why?

The queen comes from Bavaria. - She's beautiful but stupid.

What a beautiful song. My German heart trembles at this melody...

Majesty.

A queen of Spain does not listen to songs when the king is hunting.

Gone hunting, place abandoned.

Because I love the queen. I, a servant.

Now he's tap dancing too. Wait, I'll get you.

My servant in love with the queen. He's mad, they'll quarter him.

Come here, you.

He sings, he dances, he stomps.

Is it over now? It's 2 o'clock at night.

Let go.

Let go.

It's gold. It's time.

Time to wake up.

Monseigneur, it's 8 o'clock.

- One is missing. - Are you sure?

Absolutely. Look under the bed.

There he lies.

- Look at that. - What?

You're too big. You're my servant.

I must be able to see that.

Give me my slippers.

You're in a good mood. - Not true. And do you know why?

Because of all that banging and stomping and ringing and blaring.

- Monseigneur. - Monseigneur.

- It's the... - The what?

The queen.

The queen? At this hour? Quick, my doublet.

Pull that up.

Dress me.

I'm holding the Infanta's hand and I'm never letting go.

I didn't know that you and the Infanta... - My collar.

She's coming to tell me that I'm going to become the king's son-in-law.

He has no children. - His nephew, it's the same thing.

If the king has a hunting accident...

the fat nephew Léopold...

the little Duke of Anjou...

a whole lot of accidents...

then I'll be king. - Then the War of Succession won't happen.

- The queen. - Clear this place up.

Make way for the queen.

Silence.

Keep those dogs quiet.

You dishonored my lady-in-waiting...

I did what?

And abused the innocence of a young German girl.

Thank you, little Infanta.

I'm happy, my aunt. My aunt.

Get those dwarfs out. Out, quickly.

Out, quickly. What a beautiful language.

You are dismissed, banished and expelled.

Your money is confiscated by the crown.

What did she say?

Don Salluste, you are dismissed and exiled.

You lose your title of Knight of the Golden Fleece...

and your position as minister. Your possessions are confiscated.

What have I done then?

A child, Don Salluste.

What is that? Who is it? - Do you refuse to acknowledge this baby?

I don't know him.

Seduced and abandoned. - Liar. She lies in German.

That child is a false witness. I have nothing... She and I no, never.

It's a colossal conspiracy.

Don Salluste, tomorrow you will leave Madrid.

First you will return your Golden Fleece to the king.

Madam, madam...

Are you letting yourself be influenced by a baby?

I acknowledge my mistakes, my children and the children of others. Yours.

The scoundrel. - He doesn't know the first thing about it.

His downfall suits us well.

Tomorrow he will return his Fleece to the king. A golden opportunity.

We must act quickly.

Amigos.

Not that. That's mine.

No, that's mine too.

No, not the table.

Hey, come help for a moment.

My forks.

The queen said everything. Everything.

- I have nothing. - Yes, you do.

Who put that in my trousers?

What am I supposed to do now? I'm a minister, I can't do anything.

We'll find something. - Get lost. I never want to see you again.

- What about my wages? - Here, take it.

I disown you. You no longer exist for me.

Excuse me? That's my broom.

Bandit, scoundrel.

And you, little queen. I will have my revenge. Here.

One-eye.

- Do you know César? - The bandit?

Find him for me.

No one has seen him for ten years. And with one eye...

You can see perfectly well with one eye.

You're right. But if you have one half, the rest can't be far away.

César, my nephew.

Scoundrel, wretch.

- I'm here. - Rascal.

- It's me. Where are you? - Up here.

- Where? - Here.

- There he is. - I'm coming.

Hello, old man. Crawled out of your hole? Do you need me?

I want to make you a proposal. - Does it pay well?

A fortune. Mine. - Do you think I'm your donkey?

No, not that way.

No, a little farther.

Listen, the bandit César disappears. People forget him.

And you become Don César again.

I'll make the whole court believe that you're returning from America.

And you seduce the queen. - Have you really fallen from grace?

You seduce the queen. I write an anonymous letter to the king.

He forgives you and restores my power.

Do you think you'll find an idiot who'll take part in something like that?

An idiot, yes. I just threw him out.

Because you're no use to me.

Follow me.

What do we do with him? - To Barbary in Africa.

You're even more cowardly than I thought. - Sell him. Get him out of my sight.