Up All Night

Come on, come on, come on.

Okay, two lines. What is that? What is that?

Two lines is, there's a baby in there.

- Okay, but what about this? It's a smiley face.

- I don' t know, is that smile, you're not pregnant

or smile, there's a baby in there?

- Stop saying "baby in there,"

like there's a baby hiding in a closet

with a knife or something.

Why are we whispering?

I don't know.

Oh, my god.

There's a baby in there.

This baby might be a good thing.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Because, one day, you're gonna die.

You're gonna die, and I'll be all alone

for... 10, 20, 30 years.

Wait, whoa. Wait.

I'm gonna die?

- You're dead, and I'm all alone.

And I'll start smoking again.

I'll be sitting on the porch of some old folks home,

blowing smoke on people's families

and grandchildren and...

They'll be saying, "there's Reagan Brinkley.

She has no family,

and everyone she knows is dead.

So you're already in a home

and I'm dead?

Mm-hmm.

But we'll have a baby.

Yeah.

Look at that.

Look at her.

She's so beautiful.

So beautiful.

God.

Chris, you know what?

We should probably cool it on the cussing.

- Oh, you're right. - Babe, you did it again.

- Yeah, but she's asleep. She can't hear us.

Hmm.

Holy.

Are you ready for this?

- Yes. Hey, come on. Look, you love your job.

Plus, this is an opportunity for me to bond with my daughter.

- Ohh. - Who knows?

Maybe I'll get the old nordic track out.

Get my body back to where it needs to be.

- Oh, my god! - What?

We have a baby!

- Deadly radiation from cell phones

and just how safe... - Ohh.

Is your clock radio?

- Uhh! This will happen!

Gaaaah!

Yes! - Dr. Nancy spivey

tells us about the dangers of exploding clock radios.

- Heh heh. - It's also Reagan Brinkley's

first day back at work.

Good luck today, Reagan.

But let me ask you:

Are you and Chris really ready to handle

all this mommyidaddy stuff?

What?

Hon...

Not sure you can rock that skirt anymore.

Oh, shut up, Matt lauer!

Oh, look at that.

So, babe, what do you wanna do tomorrow

for our anniversary?

Seven years.

Oh, my god, right?

I don't know.

Something-- something epic,

like the old days.

You know, maybe some eating and drinking.

Dancin', smokin'.

God, I need a drink so badly.

I mean, I haven't had a drink since before I was pregnant.

- Although we can' t go that far with the cigarettes.

You know. - Oh, you're right.

Smoking is my gateway drug, isn' t it?

I mean, I have one cigarette, and the next thing you know,

I'm dancing on the pool table,

doing jager shots.

Dazzling the folks with my old school raps.

- God, your beats are so tight after three jager bombs.

- So, honey, you sure you're ready for solo today?

- What? Are you kidding? Yes.

Why hire a nanny when you got me, right?

- I'm just saying, don' t sit on the couch all day,

like, watching hockey and playing video games.

What? No.

It's not even plugged in or--

come on, babe, worry.

I can' t totally do this.

- Okay, you just said, "babe, worry.

I can' t totally do this."

- No, I said we can. - Hm-mm.

- I said, "we can totally do this."

You didn't.

But okay.

Bye. - Bye.

Bye, baby.

Mwah! I love you guys.

- Bye, mama. - All right, bye.

- Reagan! Welcome back.

- Reagan, thank god you're back!

- Oh, my goodness. Wow.

- I'm so sorry. - It's okay.

It's okay. What's going on?

- The last few months have been rough.

Yesterday, show hit bottom.

And instead of coming up with a new show,

Ava's in her office, eating her feelings.

Oh, no. What?

Cake. Entenmann's.

Okay.

- I was raised on the hard scrabble roads

of the Florida panhandle.

But I'm here to tell you that,

no matter where you come from,

you can always get up that mountain.

Now, let's get up together.

Hello.

Reagan!

Oh, my god, you're back!

Get in here.

What are you doing? No, no.

- Just getting rid of the cake.

- Hey, no, no, no, no. - Stop!

No more cake.

- This show has fallen apart without you.

Every, single person here besides you

is a complete moron.

I hope you take it as a compliment

that I'm willing to speak freely in front of you.

Oh, thank you.

- Reagan... - Yeah.

- This show used to speak to women.

I mean, we wanted real issues.

But with you gone, look. Look at this.

Look. - What's--what--

I mean, I've seen all the...Shows. Oh.

It looks like I just made a new friend.

- A friend who's always on your mind!

Can I get a whoo hoo?

All: Whoo hoo! Hoo! Hoo!

- All right, that's good. We're good with the clapping!

We're good with the clapping.

Very pretty bird.

It's on her head!

Please, no more clapping.

Is the bird--oh, god.

- Are you laughing? - I'm not, I'm not.

I'm not. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I know about your paralyzing fear of birds.

Now that I'm back, I have some ideas.

Why don't we do a whole week

on women's health, right?

We can, uh, talk about non-invasive plastic surgery.

Uh, we can do a diabetes- friendly cooking show.

We can call it eats for the diabeets-

I love that.

How 'bout a cleanse?

Cleanses are big.

That is perfect.

Kimora just turned me on to this herbalist,

Dr. Phillip bonderant.

He's a pioneer of this ayurvedic cleanse.

- Okay, well, why don't I just research it--

- we're doing a cleanse! - Okay, doing a cleanse.

- And everybody in the office is doing the cleanse with me.

Right? Who's with me?

Office cleanse.

Of-fice cleanse!

- Okay. - Office cleanse!

Okay, now, that is hockey.

You know, your dad was quite the player too.

You got my genes.

Speed...strength.

And quads of steel.

Yep...you got my quads.

Always take care of your quads, sweetie,

and they will take care of you.

Mine have been very good to me.

Oh, crap.

Okay. You know what?

You just sit right there for a minute.

No, no, no, no, no.

Well, you got your mommy's balance, didn't you?

- God, what a gorgeous baby. - Thank you.

- Are you sure you wanna be back?

Yes, I do.

I mean, I miss her every second of the day.

But, Ava, I am here for you 100o%o, all right?

Don' t worry, I am still the same old me.

'Cept for, sometimes now,