Murder Bury Win

You are a very funny man.

He chose the bear trap.

Yeah, why?

You got a handgun and an axe.

- What's wrong with these? - They're boring.

- I don't want 'em. - Oh, man.

Adam, it's called a trap

for a reason.

The intended victim has to stumble onto it.

And what do the rules say?

The rules, which I believe we all signed off on,

says that the bear trap mechanic

doesn't function like other murder weapons.

You cannot wield a bear trap

with intention.

Okay, so I take the gun out

and I shoot him.

Bang, bang, bang!

I killed him.

Not so fast, tiger.

That's a quiet zone, can't do that.

Gotta go back to the safe house.

Are you gonna tell me that I can't use a bear trap

and he can fucking nail clip someone to death?

I mean, he's right there, tell him yourself.

It was the best option.

And how many points of damage did the nail clippers do?

- One point. - And what about,

uh, the baseball bat?

The sword?

Okay, it was the funniest option.

Actually I can kinda see your point.

Imagine clipping your nipple tips.

- Don't. - Adam.

Barrett's not playing to win.

- Why do I have to play to win? - Because that's why

- we play games. - No, that's why you play games.

Ugh, how are we doing?

Still failing.

Still failing.

V.V. Stubbs ever fail a Gamechanger campaign?

Nope.

Never asked for crowdfunding, not once.

Literally everything this guy has ever put out

has been a fucking hit.

I don't know how he does it.

Guys, we made $200 in donations.

We gotta start somewhere, right?

I mean, it doesn't matter if we never get any of it.

Is someone standing in the way of your dreams?

Well, I have the perfect solution.

Just murder, bury, win, yay!

Hi, I'm Adam.

I'm here to tell you about a new murder mystery board game.

The twist: You're the killer.

I'm not watching this video again.

Hey, hey, guys, look, a new donation.

$150 from you know who, anonymous.

That's five donations, $350 total,

and all from anonymous.

Five donations, 10 percent of our goal.

That's pretty good for a first run.

Let's stay optimistic.

Murder, Bury, Win.

Part One: The quick start guide to murdering

your intended victim.

First rule: Don't freak out.

What do you want? You know what you want.

You want to kill.

You want to do this.

But can you do this?

Fuck yeah, you can do this.

You can't give up.

You can't stop moving.

You've got to find that person

and, well,

that reminds me.

Second rule: Find the perfect murder weapon.

And even if you don't think you can kill

with what you've got, try to kill 'em anyway.

Third rule: Don't stop the pursuit.

If he gets out of your grasp, keep on chasing him,

because if you don't, they will,

and in this game, there can only be one winner.

Well, you won't find anyone else that works as hard as I do,

and, um...

What's that?

A record?

Yes, that's part of the .

I mean, does it really matter?

- Yes. - It does?

Appreciate you checking in.

We'll contact you later...

Hey, um, why don't you go fuck yourself?

Excuse me?

Adam Hughes speaking.

- Yo, you remember this? - Oh, yeah, I sure do.

You know it ran on Gamechanger?

- Really? - I ended up donating to it,

and went all in for the full reward.

They sent me this colorful package

with the game inside, a t-shirt,

some stickers.

Campaign made a million dollars.

- Wow. - Fucking hate this game.

- Really, why? - Yeah, hell yeah.

It was a simple idea.

Anybody can come up with crude drawings

and immature humor, you know?

But, I guess if it sells,

that's the kind of shit people like.

Yeah, did a lot better than Murder, Bury, Win.

A million times better.

You know, the difference is that, like, our game

is actually great, you know?

Like, it's nuanced.

Even though it's not finished, it has just as much depth as

any of these Victor Von Stubbs games, you know?

I'm telling you, one day I'm gonna walk

through these doors and be standing right there

with a copy of the most badass murder fantasy board game

ever created, Murder, Bury, Win, you feel me?

Mark my words,

and you know whose names are gonna be on the box?

Ours.

Meet me in the back, now.

Yes, sir, yes.

Yes.

They're... they're right here, sir.

They're right here.

Uh, okay, we are live, sir.

- Hello, Adam? - Yes.

- Am I on speaker? - You are, sir.

So, I understand I'm speaking to the three creators

of Murder, Bury, Win.

That would be Adam, and Barrett, and Chris.

- Is that right? - That's correct, sir.

- Yes. - And it's just the three of you

- right now? - Yes.

Excellent.

First of all, I don't give out my name over the phone.

It's not a you thing, it's a safety thing.

- Okay, are you there? - We're here, sir.

Great, so I understand you three live in Willits.

- That's correct. - And are you talking to anyone

- about your game? - Well, we tried

with the Gamechanger campaign, but it...

Yeah, yeah, obviously, are you talking to

any game publishers about your game?

No, not really.

Not really, or no?

No.

Comic book or young adult adaptations?

- No. - Have you taken any steps

to get your game made beyond the Gamechanger site?

No.

Does anybody know about your game

outside of the three of you?

- No. - Absolutely not.

I hear two voices.

I'm sorry, no.

Okay.

If it meant the difference between your game being made

or disappearing into Gamechanger obscurity,

could you keep this conversation a secret?

- Absolutely. - Yes.

- Sure. - And I want you to be honest.

Okay?

Is your game any good?

Sir, I believe Murder, Bury, Win is the next...

Murder Wall.

Come over, let's talk about your game.

Come over?

I'm close.

Sure, when?

Hey, now is good.

Adam, take me off the speaker phone.

See ya soon, guys.

Yes, sir.

I'm looking forward to it, too.

Yes, we'll be there very soon.

"Close" my ass.

Seven buses, Adam.

It's just right up this road.

You said that an hour ago.

- I'm saying it now. - Do you even trust this guy?